You Are Certified To Eat The Comfort Cookie

(It is time for my mom to renew her driver’s license and she decides to just go ahead and get a “Real ID” instead of a regular license. She has all the necessary paperwork, except she can’t find her marriage certificate to prove she changed her name. Figuring she can just get a copy at the DMV, she heads out. At the DMV, after waiting in line for two hours, she pays the fee to get the copy pulled up. They look, but they can’t find her marriage certificate. Mom guesses it’s because she and Dad got married in the dark ages — 1990 — before everything was digitized. The DMV tells her that she has to call the Virginia Vital Records department in Richmond. She gets home and calls them. She is on hold for over forty-five minutes before she gets to speak with someone. She explains her situation and the rep drops this:)

Customer Service Representative: “Oh, the reason the DMV told you to call us is so we can tell you we received the request. You should receive a copy of your marriage certificate within two weeks.”

(Mom was furious. Two hours at the DMV, forty-five minutes on hold, and one long scream later, Mom calmed herself by breaking her diet and eating a single cookie.)