Y’all Ever Been To New York City? Crossing There Is TERRIFYING!

While on vacation, I sign up for a walking tour of Dublin. The tour assembles at a designated meeting spot, and the tour guide spends some time chatting with people as they arrive. The majority of us are from the United States, with a few English and Canadian tourists, as well. When it’s time to get started, the guide gives a brief introduction on what we can expect, where we’re going, etc.

Guide: “And now, a bit about safety. We’re going to be crossing the road, and if you’ve been here for a few days, I’m sure you’ve noticed that we Irish… don’t care. We cross whenever we feel like it. We stare down the cars and say, ‘Go on, buddy, I dare you.’ But with a big group like this, we’re going to be safe. We’re not going to cross when the red man is showing, all right? We’re going to wait until we see the green man. And when you see the yellow man…”

Half The Group: “Run!”

The guide laughs.

Guide: “Americans! It’s always the Americans! No, there are a lot of us, and we don’t want anyone to get separated or hit by a car. If we see the yellow man, we’re going to stop and wait for him to turn green.”

Tourist: “Well, hey, you can’t blame us for crossing on yellow when you just said that y’all cross on red.”

Guide: “…Fair play. You’ve got me there.”