X-Rated Xmas

(I am putting our Christmas tree up. It is not a real tree. I start to notice that my arms are itchy. I live with my dad and stepmom.)

Me: “My arms are itchy! It reminds me of when my mother would say she was allergic to latex and that she couldn’t help with the tree one year because of that. I never believed her, though. I mean, if you shove your arms in a prickly tree, of course it’ll itch!”

Dad: “She said she was allergic to latex?”

Me: “Yeah.”

Dad: *very matter-of-factly* “No. She’s not.”

Step-Mom: “Did you really go there?”

Dad: “I did.”