Would You Like Smoke Up Or Delivery

(Note: My boss only purchased this particular pizza shop about four years ago. I am answering a phone call at the beginning of my shift.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [shop name]. Will this be for pick-up or delivery?”

Customer: “Uh, is this the NEW [shop name]?”

Me: “Yes, the current owner purchased this restaurant about four years ago.”

Customer: “Oh, okay. Uh…can I get a delivery?”

Me: “Sure! What’s your address?”

Customer: “Yeah, I just want two large pies and a dime bag.”

Me: *taken aback* “Um…excuse me?”

Customer: “Two large pies and a dime bag.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir…a dime bag?!”

Customer: “Can’t I get a dime bag with my delivery?”

Me: “No, absolutely not. We only sell food here…no dime bags!”

Customer: “Oh, okay then.”

(He proceeds to give me his contact information for two large pies. After the call ends, I bring the order into the kitchen. However, before I have a chance to even hand the slip to the cook, the phone rings again.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [shop name]. Will this be for pick-up or delivery?””

Same Customer: “Uh, yeah, I wanna cancel my order for two large pizzas.”

Me: “Okay, so you want to cancel the two pizzas, correct?”

Same Customer: “Yeah. Unless I can get a dime bag with them, that is.”

Me: “No, you still can’t get a dime bag.”

Same Customer: “Oh, okay. Yeah, cancel the order…”

(I found out later that 15 years ago, a previous owner used to run a little “side operation” for quite some time before the police caught on and sent him to jail.)