Would Rather Be Cupped Than Coupley

(My boyfriend and I are going through a weird phase of being in love, but not really knowing what to do about it. He gets back from a month abroad, and we are cuddling in bed together.)

Boyfriend: “I love you.”

Me: “I love you, too.”

Boyfriend: “I missed you, I’m glad you’re here.” *goes to kiss me on the forehead* “Ah! No! This is all so confusing, and I can’t kiss you on the head, that’s too coupley. I don’t know what to do.” *suddenly brightens up* “I know!”

(He just grabs my boob.)

Me: “Eh…”

Boyfriend: “…Honk.”