Worried Sick

(My six-year-old son comes up to me, complaining of various ailments, up to and including a brain tumor.)

Me: “Okay. Open your mouth and stick out your tongue so I can check.”

Son: *mouth open and tongue out* “Ahhhhhh.”

Me: “My goodness, this is one of the worst cases of hypochondria I’ve ever seen!”

Son: *eyes wide as saucers* “Will I have to go to the hospital?!”

Me: “No, but you should probably take a placebo pill.”