World Wide Watery Web

(I’m on the phone, trying to resolve an issue where the cable company has mistakenly logged my account as disconnected.)

Me: “I’m a little confused. The e-mail I received from you says that my account was disconnected, but I still have cable service.”

Employee: “Well, that can’t be possible. You are disconnected. A technician went out to your residence and physically disconnected the lines yesterday.”

Me: “Ma’am, I don’t think you’re understanding me. That didn’t happen. My cable and internet are still working. The lines have NOT been disconnected. If you have my account categorized as disconnected, why am I still receiving cable service?”

Employee: “Well, there may just be some leftover service in the lines. That will get less and less strong as it finishes out and gets used up. That happens sometimes.”

Me: “Leftover service in the lines? Like water in a pipe?”

Employee: “Exactly like that. There is just leftover cable and internet in the lines. It’ll run out soon.”

Me: “You do realize that cable and internet are not physical things that flow through a line, right?”

Employee: “No, I don’t think that’s correct. The service goes through the wires and into your home, just like water through a pipe. You just have some leftover service in your wires.”

Me: “…Can I speak to your supervisor?”