A year or two ago, I was doing a complicated organisation job to get some remote locations serviced to make sure their networks stayed online. I got the numbers for the locations from the company providing the network, but we were purely the actual, physical servicers. (Think power company versus the electrician.) Many names had two or more numbers listed, so my policy was to call them all, text them all, and let them know I was reaching out regarding some servicing.

BUT — and this is where I’m crucially grateful I was vaguely paranoid of something like this — it was literally just, “Hi, I’m [My Name]. I’m from [Service Company], looking for [Person]. I’m calling in regards to setting up a service and trying to reach you. You can contact me at this number or [email address] to follow up.” It still could have gone badly, but there was no mention of the location or anything, so I think the three or so people who had inherited numbers and weren’t the people I was looking for were like, “This makes no sense to me. Eff off.”

This one guy, though… When I got a hold of him, I mentioned I’d tried to reach him on “the other number, as well,” and he freaked out. It turned out that “the other number” was a number that was supposed to have been purged from the providers’ database because of to whom it was connected — an abusive ex who was known for stalking and against whom he had a restraining order. I felt awful for even coming anywhere near what might have happened.

As far as I was concerned, though, I told him exactly what I’d left as messages, which reassured him. I also made sure to give him every detail about the guy who would be doing the service, and I asked if there was anything else I could do to make him feel safer. He was pretty upset, which I reassured him was both correct and understandable, and I apologised for it, even though I had no reason to know.

I deleted it from everything I’d been given, and I gave the team I was working with on the providers’ side the information they needed to know about the incident (for logging, and hopefully, to FIX THE DURN ISSUE) to protect the guy.

I’m still super mad that the number was still listed on whatever database we were given.

I work on the register at a clothing store. A coworker with whom I have a budding friendship works Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday. I work Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday.

I come into work on a Tuesday, and my manager informs me that I’ll be handling the registers alone.

Me: “Did [Coworker] call in?”

Manager: “She quit after yesterday.”

Me: “Quit? What happened?”

Manager: “A long line of customers demanding returns without receipts who don’t understand the return policy. The stupid b**** started crying when they began yelling at her.”

I’m caught off-guard by his remark.

Me: “I’m sorry, you’re insulting her for getting upset because the customers were yelling at her?”

Manager: “Return policy means they had no argument against her.”

Me: “And did you punish these customers for making a scene? For abusing your worker?”

Manager: “Abuse? Some idiot yelling isn’t worth getting upset over.”

I was so infuriated by his blasé attitude that I quit on the spot. I called up [Coworker] and found that she had gotten a new job with less apathetic management. They still had an opening, and we found ourselves working together again.

We are in a regional meeting, and the new manager asks our Vice President a question.

New Manager: “How often do our quarterly reports come out?”

Most of us started laughing until he realized what he had just asked.

I have difficult-to-fit feet, so when I found a local shoe store that carried a line that fit me well, I was happy about it… until my second visit. The first time in, they sold me on these expensive third-party insoles. They were okay, but I didn’t think they were worth the money, especially since my shoes were already expensive.

The next time I was in, they went for the hard sell on the insoles.

Me: “No, thanks.”

Employee: “Okay. Well, how about this shoe care kit?”

Me: “No, thanks. I already have most of the items in it.”

Employee: “Well, what don’t you have?”

I honestly didn’t remember.

Employee: “How about this brush? It’s better than the one in the basic kit.”

Me: “No, thanks.”

Employee: “Leather conditioner?”

Me: “No, thanks.”

Employee: “We have these special thin socks for people with diabetes.”

Me: “I… don’t have diabetes.”

Employee: “Well, they’re also very comfortable for people with large feet like you.”

Me: “No. Thanks.”

Employee: “If you see anything else you’d like…”

Yes. The shoes. The shoes I came here to buy. The shoes chosen specially to fit my feet. My shoes.

I found another shoe store.

I try to socialize and even joke with my customers a little, and I’ve gotten such positive feedback that one of the managers even takes me aside one day to tell me how impressed he is and how many good reviews customers are leaving for me.

Naturally, I’m delighted, and I do my best to continue encouraging customers to fill out the surveys at the bottom of their receipts. The surveys are one of the topics I like to joke about.

I’m ringing up a customer and her partner, and I hand her the receipt.

Me: “And there’s a survey at the bottom of the receipt that we’d appreciate if you’d fill out for us. Make sure to tell them I’m the worst person you’ve ever met, everything I said and did offended you, I’m just awful…”

Customer: *Deadpan* “And I’m pretty sure you’re a Nazi.”

Me: *Nodding* “Definitely tell them that.”

Usually, I just get a laugh or a phony scolding when I say that, but having a customer actually play along made my day.