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Bad boss and coworker stories

Like A Spy Movie But Somehow Way More Satisfying

, , , , , | Working | November 18, 2022

I just moved and signed up for Internet. It’s a small town, so the only Internet provider was a small one-office company I’d never heard of before. I looked at their website using my smartphone and saw that they had a plan for $39.99 a month for two years, so I drove to the store to sign up. The only available associate was a man in his forties.

Associate: “The only option is $89.99 a month.”

Me: “I don’t understand. On your website, it said—”

Associate: “Unfortunately, if you don’t enter your full address, the results are inaccurate.”

Me: “I entered my full address, and your website gave me—”

Associate: “Then you must have done something wrong. Now, I can get a tech to your house on [date two weeks away]. It will be $100, and it needs to be paid up front.”

Me: “I’m going to have to decline. Thank you for your time.”

Associate: *Throwing his hands in the air* “Fine. Your choice. Have a nice day!”

I went back to the car and called my parents. My dad came out the next day and went to the store. He called me using his Bluetooth earpiece while I sat in the car so I could feed him the details. 

Dad: “I’m looking at this $89.99 plan, but it’s a little more than I wanted to pay.”

Me: “I’ll only have a couple of devices linked at once. Just streaming and surfing.”

Dad: “I don’t need all the bells and whistles. Maybe two devices connected at the same time.”

Associate: “Oh, no problem! I looked up your address, and there’s a plan for $39.99, and I can throw in a [Streaming Device] for no cost.”

Me: “He never offered that to me!”

Dad: “That’s great! I love it.”

Me: “The tech visit?”

Dad: “What about the tech coming out? My dogs don’t like strangers, so I want to be prepared.”

Associate: “Nah, you don’t need that. This house had Internet up to a couple of months ago, so you can just download the app on your phone and go through self-installation.”

Dad: “Oh, awesome. I’m going to have my kid come in and talk to you.”

Associate: “Great! I’d love to meet him.”

As soon as I walked in, the associate’s face fell.

Me: “Hi there. Remember me? So glad you changed your mind about my Internet!”

Associate: “Well, see, there are—”

Dad: *Casually* “No, don’t worry about it. You’re an a** who tried to scam my daughter into paying over double what she needed. Do you get commissions?”

Associate: “Yes, but—”

Dad: “Great. I’ll have someone else process this, then. Perhaps your supervisor.”

He gave the associate a brilliant smile.

The associate stood and went to a manager. They talked briefly before the manager came over. 

Manager: “Hello, folks. I’m [Manager]. I just spoke with [Associate], but can you tell me what’s going on?”

My dad tells [Manager] what happened. He gets more upset as the story goes on.

Manager: “I see. Let me take care of this for you.”

The manager gave me the streaming device for free, six months of router rental for free ($15 a month), and signed me up for a paperless billing discount ($10 a month). I don’t know what happened to that associate.

Some People See Scams Everywhere

, , , | Working | November 17, 2022

I visited a new cafe. While waiting, I noticed that their small coffees came in cups with tiny handles, while the other sizes were served in mugs. Their coffee machine was fully automatic, dispensing the exact amount of coffee for the size selected.

Me: “Can I have a small coffee, but in one of the mugs, please?”

Server: “Those are for medium coffees. Did you want one of those?”

Me: “No, I only want a small coffee; I just find those cups hard to hold.”

Server: “Sorry, but if you want a medium, you have to pay for a medium.”

Me: “I don’t want a medium. I want a small, but in a medium mug.”

Server: *Huffing* “Fine.”

He made the coffee and handed me the part-full mug, looking smug.

Server: *Sarcastically* “Here is your small coffee. Do you want milk?”

Me: “No, thank you, could I get a splash of cold water instead, please?”

Server: *Giving me a dead stare* “You want me to top it up with water.”

Me: “No, I just want a bit of cold water so it’s not boiling hot.”

He took the mug and came back with it literally filled to the very top. I touched my finger to it, and it was barely warm.

Me: “Why did you fill it up?”

Server: *Smirking* “You want a medium coffee, you pay for a medium coffee. You want to only pay for a small coffee, you’re gonna get cold, weak coffee. So, that’s £2.85 for your small coffee.”

Me: “No, that’s not £2.85; that’s me having a word with your manager.”

I got my new small coffee, in a large cup, with a dash of cold water. The server got a chewing out from the manager. And I got a full stamp card for a free drink on my next visit.

‘Cause You’re An Intern, WA DA DA WAP WA DAAAAAA! Part 2

, , , , | Working | November 17, 2022

Our Human Resources manager is very fond of hiring interns that are local college-level students. As an IT technician, I’ve encountered interns who were good, bad, and varying states in between. I’m also accustomed to, shall we say, interesting requests. Usually, though, the requests are within or on the fringe of the realm of reason.

This intern showed up one day in a suit and overcoat, carrying a briefcase. He was hired to do data entry into Excel spreadsheets but apparently didn’t get the memo. We got this ticket. 

Ticket: “Hello, I would love to acquire the following if possible:

“Four full-size (preferably 27″ or larger) monitors with appropriate cables, and a solution to have multiple display outputs for a computer with limited video output (like a docking station or something else that works).

“A much more powerful mobile workstation with the best processor/processing ability I can get, which could optimally support four graphics-intensive screens (for advanced and frequent simulation purposes). Preferably the largest screen possible on this mobile workstation, as well. In addition, a desktop computer with the best processing ability I can get alongside the capability to support four graphics-intensive screens. If the mobile workstation can interface with all the accessories I have described and is more powerful than a possible desktop, the desktop is not necessary. If we can get a more powerful desktop than the mobile workstation, I would appreciate both.

“An external, USB 3.2 capable USB hub to connect multiple devices through one USB port.

“An external mechanical keyboard.

“Access to a minitab/statistical cell-based data analysis software, Microsoft Access, and Tableau or a similar graphical/interactive data representation software that can pull from Excel documents/data.

“Thank you for your time and energy!”

After my boss and I picked ourselves up off the floor from all the laughing, the intern got a standard laptop, two mismatched monitors, and the standard Office suite.

My boss still won’t allow the ticket to be closed, and it’s been a long time since the intern, amazingly, finished his internship.

Related:
‘Cause You’re An Intern, WA DA DA WAP WA DAAAAAA!

Ants On Your Hand And A Bee In Your Bonnet

, , , , , , , | Working | November 17, 2022

I am shopping in an ethnic grocery store. I am very short-sighted, even with my glasses.

They have large cardboard boxes full of discount merchandise. The boxes are resting directly on the floor, not on shelves. I see a candy bar in one of the boxes listed for $.50. The candy bar consists of seeds and nuts bound together by what looks like caramel in a clear wrapper.

I grab the candy bar to inspect it closer. As I bring my hand to my face, I feel a tickling sensation. When I look closer, I see that the candy bar, the inside of the wrapper, the outside of the wrapper, and now my hand, are all crawling with tiny ants.

I scream and throw the candy bar. An employee comes running.

Employee: “What happened?”

Me: “ANTS!”

Employee: “Ants? Ants are not a good reason to scream. We live on earth. Ants happen.”

Me: “Ants on my hand!”

Employee: “Ants on your hand are a good reason to scream.”

Check Out This Lesson At The Checkout

, , , , , , , , | Working | November 17, 2022

My wife and I went to an outlet mall in one of our state university towns. We went into a national brand shoe store to look for a pair of casual shoes for me. I found a pair and bought them. The clerk took my cash, gave me the change, bagged the shoes, and left to chat with a coworker, as there was no one else in the store at the time.

Shortly, I returned to the register with a problem with my change. After trying to ignore me, the clerk finally, with eyes rolling, came to find out what I wanted.

Clerk: “Is there something else I can help you with?”

Me: “You gave me the wrong change.”

Clerk: “No, sir. I know I gave you the correct change.”

Me: “No, ma’am, you didn’t.”

This went back and forth a couple more times until I got more forceful.

Me: “No. Let me show you. I still have the change in my hand. The ticket says the shoes cost $60 and coins. I gave you a hundred and the coins and you gave me 3 twenties back.”

Clerk: *Wide-eyed* “Oh, I gave you twenty dollars too much.”

Me: “Yes. You came back to me with a defensive posture before you knew what my problem was. Change your attitude until you find out what is going on with the customer. I know the drawer being short would come out of your pay.”

Clerk: “Yes, that’s right. I’m sorry, but thank you for being honest.”