I work as an engineer. I do some consulting on the side, but typically only for people I know and as a favor.

A good friend asked me to help his in-laws, who were doing some fairly massive renovations/additions. I agreed solely because he asked me to. This is not something I have any interest in or need to do except as a favor. It’s an old house and had a can of worms written all over it, with some of the changes they wanted to do.

Now he warned me that the mother-in-law can be unpleasant, but that was an understatement. She seemed to think that because I was being paid (I charged probably 1/10th what a business would) that she could snap her fingers at me like a servant. I had a few unpleasant emails with her, but it was tolerable. She was rude when I was pointing out issues with their plans, but nothing too extreme.

That changed when I started trying to find a time for me to stop by and inspect a few areas of the house to verify some information.

I offered times to stop by on the weekend, but that didn’t work for her. Tried evening times, still a no. Nope, she wanted me to stop by during my office work hours because that was best for her. When I told her no, this gets done on the weekends or in the evening, she went from rude to incredibly hostile. Telling me that she is paying me (LOL) and that I work with her availability. Not the other way around.

I CC’ed my friend in on the chain, told them I was out, and to have fun working with whoever they get. My friend apologized, and I said no worries, not my problem anymore.

She emailed back, quite stunned that I was walking away, telling me that it’s not how business is conducted. I didn’t bother responding.

About three weeks later, I get an email from the husband now asking me if I would reconsider, and he promises that his wife won’t speak to me or be involved in any way.

I hear from my friend that while the quotes came back much higher, which was tolerable for them, it was how long the wait was. They just bought this house and wanted to move in ASAP, but it’s an incredibly busy time of year for the industry.

Turns out, when companies you reach out to are drowning in work and you have a potentially convoluted and messy project, they aren’t champing at the bit to get your business. So now they are going to lose the trades they lined up because design would be a month or two out.

I passed on the request as I struggled to believe she would be kept in check and had no desire to bail her out. My friend didn’t care, saying it was nice watching her attitude give the consequences that actually affect her.

This happened yesterday, and I can’t quite decide if somebody was pulling my leg. They seemed utterly sincere, but, well, you decide.

I work remotely and lead a lot of remote meetings. During one such call, I was a little distracted by a small bird flying into my home office through an open window and then leaving again – leading to the following conversation:

Me: “Sorry, folks, I was a bit distracted by a sparrow flying into my office there. Don’t worry, it flew out again.”

Colleague: *Laughs.* “What kind of rural location do you live in that you get sparrows?”

Me: “What are you talking about? They have got to be one of the most common birds in the UK, you get them everywhere.”

Colleague: “Well, I’ve never seen them.”

Me: “You’re in Manchester, right? I guarantee that there are lots of sparrows in Manchester.”

Colleague: “Nah, they hang about beaches and seas with pirates.”

Me: “You’re thinking about parrots.”

Colleague: “Nah, they were in that movie, weren’t they?”

Me: “Wait, wait, wait. Are you talking about Pirates of the Caribbean? You realise that Captain Jack Sparrow wasn’t called Captain Sparrow because he was actually a Sparrow or had a pet Sparrow, don’t you?”

Colleague: “Oh, right.”

For context, my colleague is in their mid-twenties and I googled it, sparrows are indeed common across Manchester.

I am working for the summer delivering automotive parts from a central warehouse. One thing to know about this business is that the delivery trucks and vans are literally used until they cannot be used anymore. Probably easy to do since parts are readily available to be replaced whenever needed. It was not uncommon to get out on the road with a vehicle odometer reading with a three at the start. This happens when I get back early from a day’s deliveries.

Dispatcher: “Hey, do you have time to take a couple of trucks in for service?”

Me: “Sure.”

I hop into the first one and drive the short distance across town to the dealership owned by the same people, noting to myself, “Hmm, that’s a new one.” I arrive at the service area.

Me: “Hey, I’ve got a truck here for service from [Business].”

Technician: “Okay, what’s the mileage on it?”

Me: “I don’t know.”

Technician: *Looks at me like I’m an idiot.* “Well then, check the odometer!”

Me: “You mean the odometer that says, “error”?”

Yes, the digital readout literally said that. Thank goodness I never had to take that particular vehicle on a delivery run. The worst I was subjected to for a day had 840,000 miles on it.

I work in an office building with five floors. I work on the fifth floor, so I take the elevator up, but I normally walk down the stairs. After a mentally exhausting day, I was talking with my coworker on his way to the elevator. I got in with him, continuing the conversation, and hit the button. The doors started to close but opened again. I thought someone else had hit the call button and the doors had reopened. Nobody was out there, so I hit the button again. The same thing happened!

Me: “What is wrong with this stupid thing?”

Coworker: “Long day, huh?”

Me: “What?”

Coworker: *Leans over and presses the “1” button.* “You’ve been hitting the “5”.”

Me: “Oh my gosh. Yes! It’s been a long day!”

We made it to the first floor. I went home and went right to bed. I slept like a rock, but I felt SO much better the next day!

I was the top performer in my team at work.

I wake up one morning, realising that my earache of a few days has turned into an inner ear infection.

Me: *Calling the boss.* “I can’t come in today. My ear has an infection.”

Boss: “This is really inconvenient.”

Me: “Not as inconvenient as having motion sickness and nausea!”

He reluctantly ‘let me’ go and see my doctor, and I was able to get medication and recover after almost ten days.

Soon after recovery and return:

Boss: “So, we need to put you on a PIP.”

Me: “A performance improvement programme? Why?”

Boss: “Your performance is second from the bottom this month.”

Me: “Well, yeah, I was out for ten days.”

Boss: “Yeah… that would do it.”

Me: “You don’t see how it’s not a case of my performance being bad?”

Boss: “Second from bottom is second from bottom. Rules are rules.”

So, I let HR know. They were unable to understand how I lost ten working days that month due to illness AND still only be the second-worst performer in the whole team.

I also let HR know I was considering resignation and suing for constructive dismissal as a result of my boss’s actions, a clear indication of bullying and the detrimental effect on my career.

HR took me off the PIP straight away and placed my boss on a course (for what, I don’t precisely know).

He attended a single day and refused to continue. They sacked him.