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Bad boss and coworker stories

Email Fail

| Working | August 26, 2012

(The following conversation takes place between the office manager and myself.)

Office Manager: “Is your internet down?”

Me: “Yes, yours too?”

Office Manager: “Yes, I sent the IT department a message.”

Me: “Did you email the message?”

Office Manager: “Yes, why?”

Me: *waits patiently*

Office Manager: “Oh, crap! I’ll go call them.”

Not Quite Registering

| Working | August 25, 2012

(A customer pays with a fifty dollar bill. Spotting it, the pharmacist on duty grabs his wallet and asks the cashier to give him the fifty for two twenties and a ten.)

Coworker: “I can’t do that!”

Me: “Why not? He’s giving you $50 for $50.”

Coworker: “But my till will be wrong!”

Me: “How? You take out the fifty, and put in two twenties and the ten. The totals are still the same.”

Coworker: “But I won’t have the fifty, and the register will KNOW!”

The Long Hand Of The Law

| Working | August 24, 2012

(My new coworker frequently claps me on the shoulder or throws his arm around me. I’ve asked him several times to stop this as it makes me uncomfortable. On this day, he slaps me on the shoulder again.)

Me: “I’m not going to tell you again, and (Manager) already warned you: stop that. Keep your hands to yourself.”

Coworker: “Ah, would you ever calm down?!”

Me: “No, I won’t calm down! You lay a hand on me again, and you’re gonna lose that hand.”

(He turns and shoves me, knocking me backwards and nearly flooring me. The last of my temper gone, I’m about to deck him when the customer demands we both come to the counter.)

Customer: *to me* “I was really just hoping to go watch a movie and not have to deal with this kind of s***, but…” *produces a Garda (police) badge* …”do you want to arrest him?”

(The customer spoke to the manager, reported my coworker for assault, and went to watch his movie while my coworker was fired and sent on his way.)

I See-Saw What You Did There

| Working | August 24, 2012

(My boss is an incessant mumbler. I can’t understand him 90% of the time.)

Me: “The man who was calling to complain earlier this week is on the phone again.”

Boss: “Oh yeah, is it [customer]?”

Me: “Yes, he is calling again, even more upset.”

Boss: “Tell him he needs to call See-Saw Communication and then go ahead and hang up.”

(I’m puzzled, as I’ve never heard of ‘See-Saw Communication’.)

Me: “Okay…” *to the customer on the phone* “You have contacted the wrong office; you’ll need to contact See-Saw Communications. Thank you.” *hangs up*

Boss: *laughing hysterically* “You were serious about me mumbling weren’t you? I said he needs to CEASE ALL communications!”

Me: *turns bright red*

Boss: “Don’t worry about it. He’ll be plenty busy looking for See-Saw Communication!”

Your Listening Skills Go Without Saying

, , , | Working | August 24, 2012

(I am buying a ferry ticket.)

Me: “One youth to Bainbridge, please.”

Cashier: “Where do you all need tickets to?”

Me: “Bainbridge Island. And it’s just the one youth ticket.”

Cashier: “Three adults to Bainbridge.”

Me: “No, just one, and it’s a youth ticket.”

Cashier: *glares at me* “Why didn’t you say that! One adult to Bainbridge.”

Me: “No, it’s a yout—”

Cashier: “Ma’am, I am trying very hard to help you you are making it very hard. Are you under 18?”

Me: “Yes.”

Cashier: “You should have said that! One youth ticket to Bainbridge.”

(I pay and take my ticket and turn to walk away.)

Me: *meekly* “Thank you.”

Cashier: “Don’t you patronize me!”