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Bad boss and coworker stories

Back Off If You Want Your Backups

| Working | July 5, 2012

(It’s the late 1990s, and I’m the lone IT guy for a small company. I support two branch offices with about six employees each. In addition to the standard IT duties, I also do nightly, weekly, and quarterly backups on tape. Because we are so small and can’t afford to pay for off-site data storage/disaster recovery, I also keep duplicates of the backup tapes off-site in a fire safe at my home. This happens one day after I’d been working there about two years.)

Boss: “We’re letting you go. We’ve decided that you know too much about how our computer systems work. If you ever got mad at us, you could crash our whole network. Also, I need you to go home and bring back the tape backups that you keep off-site.”

Me: *stunned* “Um. Okay.”

(I drive home, get the backup tapes, bring them back, and hand them to my boss.)

Me: “You know, anyone who knows enough to keep the computers running is also going to know enough to bring them down. And, if I were really the vindictive type who would crash the network if I got mad at you, I never would have returned these backup tapes.”

Boss: “Hmmm…you’re right. Go sit in your office. Let me think for a bit.”

(I go sit in my office. About 30 minutes later, he comes back.)

Boss: “Okay, never mind. You’re not fired. But you are on probation for six months!”

(I got a new job as quickly as possible!)

And On The Seventh Day, He Rescheduled

| Working | July 4, 2012

(I work at a popular chain restaurant as a chef. I overhear this conversation between waiters whilst cooking.)

Waiter #1: “Man, I really don’t want to work next weekend. Sunday’s my birthday, but it’s too late to ask for time off.”

Waiter #2: “Just tell him that working on Sunday is against your religion.”

Waiter #1: “Yeah, but I’m atheist. He’d never buy it.”

(My boss just happens to be standing behind them, having just come out of the office.)

Boss: “What’s this about religion?”

Waiter #2: “He can’t work this Sunday. He has to go to church.”

Boss: *rubs his face* “I know it’s your birthday. I saw your employee sheet. Take off…I’ll have someone cover for you.”

Waiter #1: “Praise Jesus!”

The American Devolution

, , , , | Working | July 4, 2012

(I am calling my bank to let them know that I’ll be traveling abroad so they don’t shut down my card for suspected fraud.)

Employee: “…and where will you be going abroad?”

Me: “I’m going to London.”

Employee: “Oh, London. That’s cool. London is in Paris, right?”

Me: “Uh… no. London is in the UK.”

Employee: “What’s the UK?”


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Not Seeing Eye To Eye, Part 2

, , , | Working | July 4, 2012

(I am a customer at a bank. I am accompanying a friend who happens to be blind. He does not wear dark glasses, so his blindness is apparent to anyone who can see his face. After making a deposit, my friend asks for his balance, and the teller requests his driver’s license as proof of identity. My friend hands her his state-issued ID card.)

Teller: “I am sorry, sir. This ID is not acceptable. I need to see your driver’s license.”

Friend: “I do not have a driver’s license. This is my state ID.”

Teller: “I have to see your driver’s license to verify your identity before I can tell you the balance on this account.”

Friend: “Miss, I do not have a driver’s license. I cannot drive. This card is equivalent to a driver’s license for identification purposes.”

Teller: “Everybody over sixteen can drive, sir. If you do not have your driver’s license, I cannot give you the balance.”

Friend: “Look at me, miss. I am blind. Do you really think I should be able to drive?”

Teller: “Why not?!”

Related:
Not Seeing Eye To Eye


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What’s His Beef

| Working | July 3, 2012

(My family has taken a trip to Pittsburgh to see the museums with my nieces. Afterwards, we stop at a restaurant we’ve never been to to eat. I don’t eat beef but eat other meats.)

Mom: *to the waiter* “I would like to try your chicken fried steak, please.”

Waiter: “Alright. And what about you?”

Me: “I’d like the quesadilla, but with chicken instead of beef if that’s possible.”

Waiter: “No beef?”

Me: “I’d like to exchange the beef with chicken.”

(He is noticeably shocked.)

Waiter: “But…vegetarians don’t eat any meat.”

Me: “But…I’m not a vegetarian. I just don’t like beef.”

Waiter: “How can you not like beef?! This is America!”

(The waiter was so distressed and upset by me not liking beef that he gave our table to another waitress. It was awkward!)