(I receive a phone call randomly one Saturday morning.)

Caller: “Hello, I’m looking for [My Name]?”

Me: “Yes, who’s this?”

Caller: “I’m calling from [Local Hospital] regarding your procedure on Thursday.”

(I’m shocked to hear this, and it takes me a moment to process what she is saying.)

Me: “I’m sorry… what? My procedure? WHAT procedure?”

Caller: “Your procedure on Thursday with Dr. [Name].”

Me: “Doctor who? I’ve never heard of this doctor! What do you mean, I have a procedure on Thursday? I haven’t even been to any doctor at all in a year!”

Caller: “Oh… you… don’t know this doctor?”

Me: “No! I don’t know this doctor. And I am not having surgery! I have no idea why you’re calling me. You must have made a mistake.”

Caller: “I’m so sorry. I’ll get this straightened out. I’m so sorry for bothering you.”

(I hang up the phone a bit disturbed by the mix-up, but I try to laugh it off with my husband. Two days later, I get another phone call.)

Caller: “Hello, I’m calling from the hospital for your surgery on Thursday?”

Me: “Okay, no. I already got this phone call two days ago. You guys are wrong. I am not having surgery on Thursday. I have never heard of this doctor, and I have no idea why you think I’m having surgery. The other lady told me she was going to fix this. Can you PLEASE ensure me that you’ll fix this?”

Caller: “Oh, well, I apologize for the trouble, but I’m sorry, I can’t ensure you that we’ll get this resolved. But I’ll see what I can do.”

(I hang up, but now I’m worried. Sure enough, two days later, I receive yet another phone call.)

Caller: “Hello, I’m calling from the hospital for your surgery on Thursday?”

Me: “Alright, this is ridiculous. I don’t mean to be rude, but this is not brain surgery. For the last time, I. AM. NOT. HAVING. SURGERY. TOMORROW. I do not understand why you keep calling me about a procedure I know nothing about, with a doctor I’ve never heard of. And I keep asking you guys to fix it and you don’t. Can you even tell me what kind of surgery I’m supposedly having?”

Caller: “I’m sorry; I don’t know that.”

Me: “What kind of doctor is Dr. [Name]?”

Caller: “I don’t know that either.”

Me: “Do you at least have the doctor’s phone number?”

(I get the phone number to the office of the doctor and, of course, they have never heard of me. After much back and forth between departments, they finally find out that the hospital had miswritten the medical record number of the patient who was actually scheduled for the surgery, and the miswritten number brought up my record instead.)

Receptionist: “Okay, so everything is all fixed now; the hospital has the right patient for surgery tomorrow, not you, so everything’s all taken care of.”

Me: “And what happens if they call me again?”

Receptionist: “They won’t. We’ve fixed it.”

Me: “Are you absolutely sure?”

Receptionist: “Yes. We’ve fixed it. They won’t call you anymore.”

Me: “Alright, fine. Thank you for your help.”

(I hang up and call my husband to let him know this mess has been sorted out. Just minutes into the conversation, I get another incoming call.)

Me: “Hello?”

Caller: “Yes, hello, I’m calling from the hospital to remind you of your surgery tomorrow?”

(The kicker? The doctor I was supposedly getting operated on turned out to be a brain surgeon.)

(I have been working at the same grocery supermarket for five years as a simple cashier. I have recently handed in my resignation letter, because working there makes me depressive, and I want to focus on my other jobs and studies. At the beginning of my shift, my manager comes to see me.)

Manager: “Is it true you’re leaving?”

Me: “Yes, I want to focus on my other jobs.”

Manager: “Man! How am I going to manage this place with you gone? I’ll make you change your mind; you’ll see.”

(I laugh it off. A few days later, business is slow, and I’m speaking with my supervisor and mentioning my leaving.)

Supervisor: “Really? How are we going to manage without you?”

Me: “I’m just a cashier! Anyone can do my job.”

Supervisor: “Not as seriously as you do! Let’s check the employee list…”

(She then names every employee who is below me.)

Supervisor: “She’s lazy, she’s always talking with her, she was made supervisor but everyone hates her, she always complains, he’s just a big douche, she’s always late, he’s never available when we need him. See? You’re one of our best employees!”

(I felt sorry for her and my manager, but I didn’t change my mind!)

(I am exchanging a Blu-ray disc I received as a gift for the DVD version, which is a couple of dollars cheaper. Company policy states that a gift card is issued when a gift receipt is used in an exchange or return. There is a law in California that says a gift card valued under $10 may be redeemed for cash, and I happened to work at a different location of the store when the law went into effect a few years prior.)

Service Rep: “Since there is a difference in price, you’ll be receiving a gift card with the difference.”

Me: “Could I just get the cash? A gift card with less than $2 on it doesn’t do me any good.”

Service Rep: “Sorry, we only distribute gift cards. It’s rude to know how much somebody spent on your gift, you know.”

Me: “If I didn’t want to know, I wouldn’t have picked up the movie myself. I know that the difference is less than $2. If I get the gift card, I’m just going to redeem it for the cash anyways.”

Service Rep: “Nope, sorry, we can’t give you cash for a gift receipt. It’s against policy.”

Me: “Actually, you can give cash.”

(I start to explain the process before being interrupted.)

Service Rep: “No! We can’t do it. If you want the difference, you have to get it as a gift card.”

Me: *giving up* “Fine, I’ll take the gift card.”

Service Rep: “Is there anything else I can do for you today?”

Me: “Yes, I have a gift card here that has less than $2 on it, and I would like to redeem it for cash. Can I do that here?

Service Rep: “Of course!”

(A discount big-box store has just opened up a block from my job. I get to work very early one day, and decide to swing by and check it out. The prices are very good so I pick up a few things, but I lose track of time. By the time I get to the register, I’m cutting it a little close to get to work on time.)

Cashier: “That’s [price], and you even get a coupon for your next visit!”

Me: “That’s really great, thanks!”

Cashier: “Do you have our rewards card?”

Me: “No.”

Cashier: “Would you like to sign up? It’s free.”

Me: “Can I sign up online or something? I’d love to have the card, but I’m really running short on time.”

Cashier: “No, I’m sorry; I don’t think you can do that.”

Me: “Oh, okay, I’ll just sign up the next time I’m in.”

(I take my purchases and leave. A few days later I get off work early and so am able to stop in without time constraint. I get a couple more things and go to the register to be checked out.)

Cashier #2: “Do you have our rewards card?”

Me: “No, can I sign up here?”

Cashier #2: “Sure, I can have you fill out the form here, or you can do it online at your convenience.”

Me: *facepalm*

(I’ve just been hired at a toy store, along with a whole slew of other new employees. It is our first day, and the manager is conducting an orientation which is supposed to take four hours.)

Manager: “…and that concludes our orientation. Are there any questions?”

(One of the new hires raises his hand.)

Manager: “Yes?”

New Hire: “Are we really done?”

Manager: “Yes, why?”

New Hire: “Because there’s still over an hour left.”

Manager: “Oh, goodness, you’re actually right. Wow, I usually never finish my orientations that fast!”

New Hire: “So, what do we do now?”

Manager: “That’s a really good question. Normally, I would have you guys started on your training, but there isn’t enough time for that, nor have we sorted out your departments yet.”

New Hire: “CAN WE PLAY WITH THE TOYS!?”

(The other new hires roar in laughter, while the manager ponders about this.)

Manager: *sighs* “Yes, you can play with the toys.”

(For the following hour, all the new employees, aged anywhere between 16 and 25, spent the rest of their shift playing with toys, stuffed animals, bicycles, skateboards, and video games. And we got paid for this!)