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Bad boss and coworker stories

Immaculate Misconception

| Working | November 1, 2012

(I’m 14 and seeing a gynecologist for the first time.)

Nurse: “Have you ever been sexually active?”

Me: “No.”

Nurse: “Have you ever been pregnant?”

A Rebel With Too Many Causes

| Working | November 1, 2012

(I work at a grocery store and I get along with all my coworkers but one. Coworker #1 is a self-proclaimed ‘Social Justice Warrior’ and takes it upon herself to call anyone and everyone sexist, racist, or ablest for anything they say. Note that she is so extreme she went on a tangent how calling black grapes black was racist.)

Me: “Wow, it’s raining so bad outside right now.”

Coworker #2: “Yeah, I know. I’m glad I didn’t have to walk today—”

Coworker #1: “You’re GLAD you didn’t have to walk today? Don’t you know how inconsiderate that is to say? Some people can’t walk! Ablest scum!”

Coworker #2: “Wow… well, excuse me for not wanting to waddle through the rain for a half hour.”

Coworker #1: “Your struggle is nothing compared to what other people have to deal with. Check your privilege!”

(Coworker #1 then storms away. Later that day, I see her talking to a custodian and overhear this.)

Coworker #1: “Well, I don’t see how you don’t understand how you’re being oppressed.”

Custodian: “Excuse me?”

Coworker #1: “They put you in this spot because you’re Hispanic. They’re trying to make you a stereotype so they can feel comfortable in their controlled world!”

Custodian: I’m sorry, but I applied for this job, and I’m pretty content with it. Also, I’m Hawaiian, not Hispanic.”

Coworker #1: “I’m just trying to help you! You don’t have to be so reverse-racist okay? I understand, I’m on your side!”

(The custodian gives her an odd look before attempting to go back to his job.)

Coworker #1: “I know how it feels. They’ve appropriated your culture and now you’re scorned! I can help!”

Custodian:: *ignores her*

Coworker #1: “I can’t believe this!”

(Coworker #1 storms off once again. The next day I heard she quit; apparently she said she couldn’t be in such a triggering environment.)

Dripped Up By Honesty

| Working | October 31, 2012

Me: “Hi, my phone has been acting weird ever since I got it wet, and I’d like to purchase a replacement of the same model.”

Rep: “Unfortunately, we can’t replace your phone for free if you got it wet.”

Me: “I know that. I don’t want a free phone. I want to buy a replacement.”

Rep: “I’m sorry, but your warranty was voided by water damage and you are not eligible for a free replacement.”

Me: “I realize that. I don’t want a free phone. I want to PAY you with MONEY to get a new phone.”

Rep: “Oh… oh! Well, I just don’t hear that very often. Sorry, I wasn’t really listening!”

Who Knew, Part 2

| Working | October 30, 2012

(At the electronics store where I work, one coworker has taken it upon himself to systematically rename every area of the store, much to the annoyance of several of us. I come back from vacation and discover he has been assigned customer service in my absence. It should also be noted that I am a HUGE Doctor Who fan.)

Me: “So, anything interesting happen?”

Coworker #1: “Not really. Oh! But I did rename the area!”

Me: “…Oh?”

Coworker #1: “Yeah. This is now called the Time Machine. Get it? Because you all can go back in time and correct mistakes with purchases!”

Me: *speechless*

(About that time, another coworker of ours, Coworker #2, who is nearby and overheard the exchange, decides to join in. Coworker #2 is normally quiet and very shy, so it’s a bit of a shock at how vehemently she suddenly speaks up.)

Coworker #2: “Excuse me, but no. It isn’t the Time Machine, it’s the TARDIS. Because the only time machine that is even worthy of being mentioned IS the TARDIS, and at least that will be ONE not lame name we’ll have in this place!”

(Needless to say, Coworker #2 and I have become good friends since!)

 

Date Mayday

| Working | October 30, 2012

(My mom and I are at a chain beauty supply store and I’ve finally broken down and decided to sign up for the rewards program. The clerk is asking me all the necessary questions.)

Clerk: “Okay, so I need your birth date so you can get your eyebrows done for free on our birthday.”

Me: “Oh, that’s awesome! July 17th.”

Clerk: “Okay… that’s what, 5/17? Oh, wait… no, I’m so silly! 5 is June!”


Me: *trying not to sound rude* “Actually, it’s 7/17.”

Clerk: “What?!” *thinks for a moment* “Oh… oh my God! I’m too blonde for my own good.”