(I once worked as a police dispatcher for a small town, and we wore uniforms similar to the police officers. It’s my day off so I’m not in uniform when I go to pay my water bill. One of the ladies I know is working behind the desk.)
Me: “Hi. I need to pay my water bill.
Clerk: “Oh, hey, [My Name]. I didn’t recognize you with clothes on!”
Me: “Let’s not get any rumors started here…”
(I used to work part time as a customer service ambassador at an airport. As a part-time worker I didn’t have a work phone and didn’t receive all the staff mails but the important ones were supposed to be sent to my private email. For the past few weekends I’d started at 5.30am and this morning I arrived at 5.25am.)
Team Leader: “[My Name], why are you late?”
Me: “I’m not. I’m five minutes early.”
Team Leader: “As of this week we’re supposed to meet 10 minutes before we start and report to the supervisor.”
Me: “I’m sorry, but I haven’t received any information about this.”
Team Leader: “Well, it was sent to all the employees to your work phones.”
Me: “I don’t have a work phone. I’m part time. And nothing was sent to my private email. So how was I to know?”
Team Leader: “I see, but why are you late?”
Me: “I didn’t know I was late!”
Team Leader: “Well, you should have known! I’m gonna have to write you up for this.”
(This kept happening over and over. Eventually I got tired of having to explain things I had no idea about so I quit.)
(My boss has a reputation of being very unreasonable, asking for the impossible and constantly moving goal posts.)
Boss: “[My Name], come in here, please. These overtime sheets are far too high. There is no way I can afford to pay them. Go tell [Worker] that he won’t be getting paid for them.”
(I take the sheets expecting foul play or incorrect hours being booked.)
Me: “But you approved all of them.”
Boss: “Doesn’t matter. Payment is at my discretion.”
Me: “This one was for the urgent issue, this one was because the other guy was sick, and this one was because we needed the work done. You personally asked for him to come in every time.”
Boss: “Doesn’t matter. Tell him.”
(Not getting anywhere I had to explain to one of my guys why he worked 40 hours of his own time and would only get time off in lieu despite never hearing of this rule before. It did not go down well.)
Did you find this story on our Overtime roundup?
(My husband and I are meat eaters, but we occasionally like to have veggie burgers. This place has a veggie burger that isn’t bad, so we decide to stop there one night after the movies.)
Me: “We’d like two Veggies, please.”
Employee: “You’d like what?”
Me: “Veggies. You know… the veggie burgers?”
Employee: “…”
Me: “You know? The ones without meat?”
Employee: “Oh. Gotcha.”
(When we got home, we found that our ‘burgers’ consisted of buns, lettuce, tomatoes, and condiments. That’s it. Technically, they did indeed contain no meat.)
(My mother is booking a train ticket over the phone.)
Mum: “What’s the earliest train time?”
Employee: “Well, the earliest is at 05:30. It gets you there at 10:30. They then run every hour after that.”
Mum: “I only need to be there by midday. 06:30 should be fine.”
Employee: “Okay, I’ll just key that in.” *types* “Right, your ticket is booked for 17:30.” *suddenly realizes* “Oh, hang on. I’ll correct that.” *more typing* “Okay, your ticket is booked for 18:30.”
