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Bad boss and coworker stories

What You Don’t Memo Can’t Hurt You

| Working | July 1, 2012

Me: “Hi, what can you tell me about your £10 per month Android phone deals?”

Employee: *condescendingly* “What deals? Where’d you hear about those…online or something?”

Me: “It’s on the three foot banner in your window saying, ‘Ask about our £10 Android deals.'”

Employee: “Well, no one told me about that. I don’t even know what phones it’s on!”

(There’s an awkward silence as he looks at me, like he’s expecting me to leave.)

Me: “Well, do you think you could go and find out for me?”

(Ten minutes later, after he’s asked every other employee in the shop—none of whom have a clue, either—he returns.)

Employee: “Oh, yeah, it’s on [brand of phone]. We got a memo over the weekend, but nobody ever really bothers to read those, you know!”

HOrrifyingLY SHortened ITems

| Working | June 30, 2012

(My very first job is as a fountain girl at a popular restaurant/ice cream place. Since I work the late shift, I haven’t been trained on proper restaurant abbreviations. The Head Waitress, upon reviewing the night’s orders, comes flying over to me holding one of my orders.)

Head Waitress: “Holy HECK, [my name], what did you give this customer?!”

Me: *sheepishly* “Um…well, I used ‘FU’ for ‘fudge’ and ‘CK’ for ‘cake’.”

Head Waitress: “Let’s go over abbreviations, shall we?”

No Pain, No Brain, Part 2

| Working | June 29, 2012

(I’m working at my first job. It’s only been a month or two and I’m training a new employee on the registers.)

Me: “So, then, if a customer wants to pay with debit, just hit this button—”

(I look away from my coworker for a moment to show her the screen. When I look back, she is holding the stapler in one hand and staring at a staple embedded in her finger.)

Me: “Oh my God! What happened?!”

Coworker: “I dunno.”

Me: “Do you need first aid? How did you get a staple in your finger?!”

Coworker: “I dunno. I guess I just…stapled it.”

Me: “You stapled your own finger? Why?!”

Coworker: “I dunno.”

Me: “Why don’t you go to the back and see if [manager] can help you get that out?”

Coworker: “Yeah…”

(Best part: she was promoted over me!)


One Mother Of A Requirement

| Working | June 29, 2012

(Before I was of majority age, my mother (who is happily married) opened a mobile phone contract in her name for me to use. The bill was paid by my own bank account, but I was unable to change the tariff details due to my mother’s name being on the account.)

Me: “Hello, I was wondering if it would be possible for me to change the name associated with this account?”

Worker: “We are only able to do that in the case of the death of the account holder or a marriage. Are you calling today about such a situation?”

Me: “No, but my account is still in my mother’s name, even though I pay for it and use it.”

Worker: “Then I regret to inform you ma’am, I cannot change the name on the account unless your mother should happen to pass away or remarry.”

Me: “…I don’t think I’ll be getting back to you on that.”

Would You Like Eyes With That

, | Working | June 29, 2012

(I’m the only customer eating at a fast food restaurant. One of the workers comes over and stands about six feet away from my table and stares at me. He stands there for thirty seconds before I speak up.)

Me: “Yes? Did you want something?”

Worker: “No.”

Me: “Then why are you staring at me?”

Worker: “Because I like watching you eat…”