(My office overlooks a drop off point at the university. Today has suddenly gone slow and no one in my office is thinking clearly.)

Colleague: “Huh, why is that taxi going backwards?”

Me: “I don’t know. Hey! Remember that day with all of those taxis just sitting around.”

Colleague: “Um, yeah?”

Me: “Yeah, that was weird.”

(There is now a pause in the office.)

Me: “That was yesterday, wasn’t it?”

Colleague: *laughing* “Yeah.”

(My boss, general manager of the store, is also a part time DJ. He has a gig tonight and has brought in his mixer and a microphone so that I can help him replace a fuse. This happens after closing time, when there are no customers but staff are still working stock.)

Me: “So that’s the fuse changed. Now you should probably test it just on the off-chance I messed up.”

Boss: “I trust you, but let’s test it anyway.”

(We hook up his mixer to the PA system and power everything up.)

Me: “What do I say?”

Boss: *grabbing the microphone* “All right, [Supermarket], are you ready to make some f****** noise?!”

(I’m calling my husband’s new doctor’s office to confirm that they received his records from the previous doctor’s office.)

Me: “Hi. This [My Name]. I’m calling to see if you received my husband’s medical records.”

(I tell them my husband’s info.)

Receptionist: “No, they have not faxed his records over.”

(I call the other doctor’s office and ask why they have not sent his records over. They tell me that they have and I ask how long ago. The receptionist there tells me it was over a week and a half ago. I ask if they were faxed and she tells me that they don’t do that; they put his records on a CD and mailed them.)

Me: “I called a little while ago about my husband’s records and you told you did not get them. Well, I spoke to the other doctor’s office and they did send them via mail over a week and a half ago. They sent a CD.”

Receptionist: “Well, why wouldn’t they just fax them?!”

Me: “I don’t know. Apparently they don’t do that there.”

Receptionist: “Why not?!”

Me: “Again, you would have to ask them that since I don’t work there.”

Receptionist: “Well, what are we supposed to do with a CD?!”

Me: “Um… put it in the computer and read it?”

Receptionist: “Hmph!” *grumbling*

Me: “Can you please just check to see if it was received?”

Receptionist: “One moment.” *pause* “I checked with the doctor. It was already on her desk and she’ll take care of it.”

Me: *head-desk*

(I order a jacket from a retailer. I am charged for it, but then they email to say the jacket is out of stock and I will be refunded. I then re-order the jacket in a different size and am charged again before I realise that Paypal has put a hold on the original refund. I have basically been charged twice which leads to my bank being overdrawn. A few days later, I receive BOTH jackets only to find out I had, in fact, been refunded for one. I then return the second one and am refunded again! So, as not to become overdrawn when the company realises they’ve refunded me twice, I call them. After explaining the situation, this happens.)

Retailer: “So, you’re basically calling to tell us you have too much money?”

Me: “Yes. I just don’t want to have one of the refunds taken when I don’t expect it and to be put in the negative.”

Retailer: “Well… thank you for being so honest. As this was the fault of [Company] and not yourself, I’ve put a note on your account. You’re not in the wrong, so essentially… you have a free jacket. Keep the refunds. Have a nice day.”

(Thank you to the lovely person at [Company], you made the terrible week I’d had better!)

(My cousin is 11. Her dad is the manager of a sandwich shop for half a year. After school she goes to the shop to pick up a sandwich her dad leaves for her. New employees get told of this.)

Cousin: “Hi, are you new?”

New Employee: “Yes.”

Cousin: “I’m [Cousin] and my dad is [Manager]. He always leaves me a sandwich to pick up. Can I have it, please?”

New Employee: “Go away.”

Cousin: “Huh?”

New Employee: “You just want free food. Get out.”

Cousin: “My daddy didn’t tell you?”

Employee: “Hey! What are you doing? This is [Cousin]. She came for her sandwich her dad leaves for her. Why are you talking to her like that?”

New Employee: “How would I know who she is?”

Employee: “Really? [Manager] always lets us know about her when we’re hired.”

New Employee: “Well, I wasn’t told.”

Employee: “That’s odd. I’ll let him know. But that was still rude the way you talked to her.”

Cousin: “What happened, [Employee]? Can I have my sandwich?”

Employee: “Of course you can.”

(It turned out my uncle did tell this new employee; somehow she ‘forgot’ or completely ignored it. She was fired soon after for being rude to people in general.)