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Bad boss and coworker stories

Shiver Me Torrents

| Working | September 14, 2012

(My dad and I are at an electronics store asking an employee for a USB DVD drive.)

Employee: “So, what do you need this for anyway?”

Me: “Just to to have one that works to read things.”

Employee: “Well, instead of using your CDs, you can just download stuff. It’s not illegal. Just pirate it; I do it all the time!”

In One Ear And Rot The Other

| Working | September 14, 2012

(I’m looking over the strawberries in a grocery store when I notice that one package contains a strawberry that is covered with furry greenish-gray mold. I notify a nearby employee.)

Me: “Excuse me?”

Employee: “Yes?”

Me: “I was just over looking at the strawberries and I noticed one in this package that is covered in mold.”  

(I try to hand the package to him, but he doesn’t take it.)

Employee: “I’m not authorized to give any discounts. You’ll have to talk to someone at the customer service desk.”

Me: “Oh no… I don’t what to buy them… for any price. I wouldn’t even take them if they were free.”

Employee: “I doubt they’ll give them to you for free.”

Me: “What?”

Employee: “I’m sure they’ll give you a discount, but they won’t just let you take them.”

Me: “We’re misunderstanding each other. I don’t want to buy these.”

Employee: “Okay.”

Me: “I thought I should bring this moldy strawberry to an employee’s attention, so that you can throw them away or do whatever it is you do with rotten fruit. Somebody could get sick.”

Employee: “Okay.”

Me: “So… here.”  

(I try to hand the package to him again, but he continues to ignore me. I set the package on the edge of his cart and walk away. What does he do? He takes the moldy strawberries and puts them back with the other ones!)

About To Have A Lot Of Time On Their Hands

| Working | September 13, 2012

(Note: our computers are really old and crash all the time. We aren’t allowed to close the store unless there’s an emergency, so we have paper forms to do transactions by hand when this happens. We’ve also recently hired a new and relatively clueless manager.)

Me: “Oh, crap. Hey [new manager], the computers are down again and rebooting them isn’t working. Can you call comp support so we can get them fixed?”

New Manager: “Oh, sure, just let me lock up the store first.”

Me: “Um, we’re not allowed to lock up the store just because the computers are down.”

New Manager: “If we can’t do business, we have to lock up the store.”

Me: “We do transactions by hand when the computers are down and put them into the computers later.”

New Manager: “But that’s impossible! No one can do business without computers! Business didn’t even EXIST before computers!”

Me: “It’s entirely possible. It just takes a calculator and some patience.”

New Manager: “Well, I’m not doing that s***. I’m going to lock up the store until the computers are up.”

(At this point, the store manager has just come in for her shift and has heard part of our conversation.)

Store Manager: “Actually, you can do transactions by hand or you can be fired.”

New Manager: “You can’t fire me for that!”

Store Manager: “For violating company policy and refusing to do your job? Yes I can!”

Buy One, Get One Fired

| Working | September 13, 2012

(I’m on vacation and am browsing at a beach shop. There’s a buy one t-shirt, get one 50% off deal, but there’s only one t-shirt I want.)

Shop Owner: “You know we’re running a buy one get one 50% off deal right now? You should pick another one for half off!”

Me: “No thanks. This one is all I need.”

Shop Owner: *sighs* “All right, but if I’m mean to my employees later, it’s your fault!”

Get Lost (In Translation)

, , , | Working | September 13, 2012

(Note: I’m white British and my friend is Filipino. While at the university library, a library assistant comes over.)

Librarian: *to us* “Hi, where are you from?”

Me: “England.”

Librarian: *laughs* “Oh, no, not you! I mean your friend.”

Me: “The Philippines.”

Librarian: “There’s a quieter room you can go in if you’d like some privacy.”

Me: “Why would we need privacy?”

Librarian: “I just thought it must be hard to translate when it’s so noisy in here.”

My Friend: “…Translate?”

Librarian: *loudly and slowly* “Yes! I. Want. To. Help! Would. You. Like. A. Quiet. Room?”

My Friend: *speechless*

Librarian: *to me* “Are you going to translate that, then?”

Me: “Okay.” *to my friend, in English* “Shall we go study somewhere else?”

My Friend: *in perfect English* “That’s okay. She’ll probably figure it out soon and leave us alone. I’ll wait.”

Me: *to the librarian* “She says we’re fine here.”

Librarian: *embarrassed* “Oh, I’ll just… get back to work.” *runs off*

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