(I have a severe aversion to getting bloodwork done. While I know it’s all in my head, I’ve managed to faint and have seizures several times. To make everyone’s life easier when I absolutely need bloodwork done, I make sure to tell whoever is doing it about the problem. USUALLY, they find a way to work with me.)

Me: *explains my problem with bloodwork* “It’d probably be best if I can lie down, if possible.”

Male Nurse: “You’re a grown-up. No one likes needles. You’ll be fine.”

Me: “It’s more than that. I’ve had seizures…”

Male Nurse: “Look, if anything happens, I’ll catch you. Okay?”

Me: “Um… okay…”

(Bloodwork begins. The next thing I remember is everything going black. I wake up on the floor.)

Female Nurse: “Are you okay?!”

Male Nurse: “She’s faking it. No one faints from having blood drawn! She just wanted to lie down. She even asked for a bed.”

Female Nurse: “That’s why  we have a bed.” *to me* “Sweetie, did you know this would happen?”

Me: “I told him I’ve fainted and had seizures from bloodwork, and asked to lie down, so… yes?”

([Female Nurse] helps me up, walks me to the room with a bed, and lies me down, leaving juice at the side table beside me. Once I’m okay to stand up again…)

Female Nurse: “Do you want to try again?”

Me: “Um… can you do it?”

Female Nurse: “Sure. Don’t worry; he’s gone home for the day.”

(I got my bloodwork done, lying down, and managed to not black out, though I still did get lightheaded. Thank you, nice lady nurse.)

This story is part of our Epilepsy roundup.

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(I am working as a technician at one of the pop-up theatres at the Edinburgh Fringe when this happens. As with most places, we have the usual ‘Technician Sands’ code-words to use over the radios so we didn’t panic any customers.)

Coworker: “Can… Erm… Can we please have… Technician Scooby to the main theatre space, please?”

(This was a new one we’d never heard before, so about four of us showed up, only to be greeted by a very excitable small dog running around the stage.)

Coworker: “I didn’t know what to say for ‘there’s a dog loose in the building!'”

(I’m in the drive-thru for a Mexican food fast food place and just pulled up to the speaker box, which has a screen below that displays the order.)

Employee: “Welcome to [Fast Food]! My name is [Employee]. Can I take your order?”

(I give me order and notice he put the drink in wrong, putting in an ‘XL’ drink when I just wanted a ‘L.’)

Employee: “Does everything look right on the screen?”

Me: “Actually no, I wanted a large not an extra large.”

Employee: “Oh, sorry. Let me fix that for you.”

(It changes to the large drink I wanted on the screen.)

Employee: “Does it look correct now?”

Me: “Yes, it does.” *jokingly* “Though, if you want to you can give me an XL for the price of a large.”

Employee: *chuckling* “That’ll be [Price]. Please pull up to the second window.”

(I wait a little bit in line, but when I make it to the second window and hand him my card, I get handed an XL drink.)

Employee: *smiling* “I went ahead and got you that extra large for the price of a large.”

Me: “You didn’t have to have to do that.”

Employee: “No, you help me out quite a bit at [Place where I work]. It’s the least I can do.”

Me: “Okay…”

(It’s so nice when employees are willing to help out each other in the field of customer service… Now if only the customers helped us out in return.)

(We’re all in a full staff meeting and training. Near the end one of our managers steps up to talk. It should be noted that we do have one staff member who is generally obnoxious, and another who is very grumpy.)

Manager: “So, for today’s training we’re just going to talk about a few things to improve the patient experience. We want everybody to make a real effort to be friendly, perhaps even smile at the patients.”

(By this point, everyone has cottoned on to the fact that the manager is speaking about only two of our coworkers.)

Manager: “Hey, [Grumpy Coworker], give us a smile?”

Grumpy Coworker: “No.”

Manager: “Well, everyone else just smile more, then!”

(My parents and I have an order to go, receive it, and leave. Upon detecting something funny, we go back to complain.)

Employee: “Was there something wrong with your order?”

Dad: “Look at it, and you tell me.”

Employee: *upon re-opening the wrapped burger clearly labeled ‘chicken teriyaki’’* “…There is no meat.”