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Bad boss and coworker stories

One Mother Of A Requirement

| Working | June 29, 2012

(Before I was of majority age, my mother (who is happily married) opened a mobile phone contract in her name for me to use. The bill was paid by my own bank account, but I was unable to change the tariff details due to my mother’s name being on the account.)

Me: “Hello, I was wondering if it would be possible for me to change the name associated with this account?”

Worker: “We are only able to do that in the case of the death of the account holder or a marriage. Are you calling today about such a situation?”

Me: “No, but my account is still in my mother’s name, even though I pay for it and use it.”

Worker: “Then I regret to inform you ma’am, I cannot change the name on the account unless your mother should happen to pass away or remarry.”

Me: “…I don’t think I’ll be getting back to you on that.”

A Poke Is Not A Joke

, | Working | June 28, 2012

(It is a pretty slow night, so we are hanging out with our boss by his desk, just having a good time. He is a heavy-set and diabetic. He has just finished giving himself an insulin injection. Without warning, he stabs my coworker with his used needle.)

Coworker: “Ouch!”

Boss: *laughs hysterically*

Me: “Did you just stab him with your dirty needle!?”

Boss: *still laughing* “Yeah, you want some too?” *tries to stab me*

Me: “Uh, no…” *grabs coworker* “…I think we need to get back to work.”

Boss: “That’s what you get for standing around!”

An Acute Lack Of Knowledge

| Working | June 28, 2012

(This happens after work. A few coworkers and I are talking.)

Coworker #1: “Can you name all fifty of the United States?”

Me: “Alabama, Alaska—”

Coworker #1: “No, let’s see if [Coworker #2] can figure this out.”

Coworker 2: “Uh…Canada!”

(Coworker #1 and I start laughing.)

Coworker 2: “No, no, no! I didn’t mean that! I’ve just never been very good at geometry!”

Meaner Than A Junkyard Dog

| Working | June 28, 2012

(I have a medical alert service dog. I’ve just walked into a shop that sells, among other things, novelty pillows, I am pounced upon by an employee.)

Employee: “You can’t bring a dog in here!”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. This is my service dog.”

Employee: “I can see that, but you really can’t bring it in here! We sell pillows!”

Me: *confused* “Well, federal law—”

Employee: “I KNOW! I know about federal law, but your dog could get allergens on the pillows! You could kill someone, and I shouldn’t have to ask you to do the right thing!”

Me: “Um, I’m sorry, but I have this dog so that I can stay safe. He’s very clean, so I don’t think they’ll be any problem—”

Employee: “No! No! Absolutely not! You can’t bring him anywhere near these pillows! He’s a dog, and you’re a heartless woman who only cares for herself!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m disabled. I really need this dog, I’m protected by law, and I don’t see—”

Employee: “NO, I can’t let you stay in here! If you’re not going to do the right thing on your own then I’m going to have to ask you to leave!”

Me: “Can I see a manager, or—”

Employee: “LEAVE!”

(I left. It just wasn’t worth it!)

Verbile Dysfunction

| Working | June 27, 2012

(I am in a meeting with several coworkers and a customer. This customer is known to have short temper, and in this meeting I called him out for having a “fit of impotent rage”. After the meeting, a coworker urgently pulls me aside.)

Coworker: “You know how you said [customer] had a fit of impotent rage?”

Me: “Yeah?”

Coworker: “Don’t you think that’s…a little rude?”

Me: “Well, maybe, but you know he’s always yelling at people. He’s pretty well known for it, especially when he can’t get his way, so—”

Coworker: “So what?! You just don’t say in a room full of people that a guy can’t GET IT UP! Even if he’s a bit of an a**hole, that’s just not right! He’s a good customer!”

(Realizing my coworker’s confusion, I break out laughing.)

Coworker: “It’s NOT funny!”

Me: “Dude, let’s go look at a dictionary, cause there’s more than one definition of the word ‘impotent’.”

Coworker: “You can’t say a guy can’t get it up! Not in a meeting! Not like that!”