(I am 21 and take a temp job organizing paperwork for a major lawsuit involving a construction firm and several of its subcontractors. I love the work, and many of the people are nice. My boss, while being a fun and interesting person to hang out with, is a terrible supervisor.)

Boss: “Hey, [My Name], here’s another original document to add to the current batch.”

Me: “All righty! Where should I put it in?”

Boss: “Just the next opening will be fine, but be very careful with it as it’s an original with signatures.”

Me: “Sure thing.”

Boss: “Oh, and here’s a copy of it, but we don’t need this one.”

(At this point she takes the original document and tears it in two.)

Boss: “Oh, my God! What have you done!”

Me: “I didn’t do anything! You just tore the original!”

Boss: “You should not have given me the original to destroy! Now we have to index the copy! I thought you were smarter than this!”

Me: “But, [Boss]! The documents haven’t left your hands!”

Boss: “Don’t try to shift the blame, [My Name]! I saw what you did!”

(This wasn’t the first time such a thing happened or the last. Luckily, my National Guard unit activated soon after and I never went back!)

(I work in the section next to our busiest doors to the outside. I say ‘Hi!’ and ‘Bye!’ in succession to people going in and out, until one time when, with a cheery smile, I said:)

Me: “Die!”

(Luckily I don’t think anyone noticed my use of the wrong consonant!)

(I am working the door at a karaoke bar, which is perfect for me because I love to break out into song at random times. Because we have a couple unruly patrons, the cops are called. When the officers arrive, I am outside on a smoke break and decide to have a little fun at them.)

Me: *singing* “I shot the sheriff, but I didn’t shoot the deputy…”

Police Officer: *without missing a beat, sings right back at me* “I fought the law, but the law won. I fought the law, but the law won!”

(My office doesn’t have any on-site IT professionals, so one of my additional duties is to check our servers every day for problems and alert IT. One day, I notice one of our main servers has crashed, so I reboot it and send out the necessary e-mails so IT can dial in remotely and see if anything vital was damaged. This was the e-mail exchange.)

Manager: “Why don’t we have some kind of mechanism in place to alert IT as soon this happens?”

IT Manager: “We do have a mechanism in place. It’s [My Name] checking it every day and letting us know what’s happening.”

Manager: “Oh. Then I guess everything’s working as it should.”

(Nice to know everyone considers me just a ‘mechanism.’)

(I’m trying to apply for a position but it requires me to be logged in. Due to the fact that I don’t use the website very often I have forgotten my password. I write an email.)

Me: “Hi, this is [My Name]. Could you please help? I cannot change my password online.”

IT: “Please click ‘forgot my password.'”

Me: “Unfortunately, I cannot change my password using this method as it also states that my username is incorrect.”

IT: “Please contact the online help.”

Me: “I cannot do this as it requires me to log in.”

IT: “Sorry, can’t help you.”

(The helpdesk then refused to respond to any of my emails. Very helpful!)