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Bad boss and coworker stories

Equal Opportunity Innuender

| Working | June 6, 2012

(I’m a 16-year-old male waiting for my order. Several employees–all of them guys, except for a single female, are working on it.)

Female Employee: *to male coworkers* “Chop, chop! Let’s get it moving back there!”

Male Coworkers: *rolling their eyes*

Female Employee: “Hurry it up with that salami!”

(After some time, the new salami is cut and the female employee begins wrapping my sandwich.)

Female Employee: “God, that took forever! It felt so good to finally shove some meat in there!”

(There’s a brief, awkward pause while I stand their silently. Finally, the female employee speaks up.)

Female Employee: “That’s what SHE said.”

Me: “Wait…but you’re a girl!”

Female Employee: “Does it really matter, hon?” *leans over the counter at me and licks her lips*

Me: *shocked silence*

Write Doesn’t Make Right

| Working | June 6, 2012

(One day, my boss meets me at the door as I report to work with a curt request to come to her office. With the door open so customers and co-workers can all hear, she begins lambasting me about my “unacceptable behavior” of late.)

Boss: *angrily* “Last night, [coworker] stated that you never spoke to him even once, hid in the back and refused to check out customers!”

Me: “First, we did talk, and—”

Boss: “He said it was pretty quiet!”

Me: “Well, I was in the back stocking the entire large food bag section entirely by myself.”

Boss: “Well, your behavior is unacceptable, so I’m writing you up!” *hands me a write-up to sign*

Me: “Okay, let me just get this straight. I am being written up for not talking to [coworker] because I was busy doing heavy stocking while he leaned on the counter up front and texted on his phone all night?”

(There is a pained silence where my boss and I simply stare unblinkingly at one another.)

Boss: *snatches the write-up from my hand* “Go and make today’s bank deposit.”

(I make the deposit as she requests, and return for the write-up.)

Me: *politely* “May I please sign the write-up?”

Boss: *defeated* “Oh, I tore that up…”

Some People Can’t Stand Being Shown Up

| Working | June 6, 2012

(I am a customer shopping with my mother. Note that I am 5′ 10″ and female. The only employee to be seen is 4′ 6″ish. I’m standing around minding my own business, when an elderly customer taps my arm.)

Me: “Yes?”

Elderly Customer: “Excuse me, miss, but you look to be very tall.”

Me: “Yes, thank you?”

Elderly Customer: “Could you help me get something off a shelf?”

Me: “Sure.”

(The employee has overheard this conversation, but says nothing, opting to glare at me. The elderly lady guides me to an isle and asks me if I can reach some cat litter that is at the far end of a deep shelf, at my chest level. I manage to barely reach it by standing on my tip-toes.)

Elderly Customer: “Thank you, miss. That was very helpful!”

Me: “You are very welcome, ma’am.”

(I go back to where my mom is shopping, to see the employee standing with their arms crossed.)

Employee: *rudely* “Oh, and I suppose you think you’re so great because you’re tall?!”

(The employee has spoken it loudly enough that the elderly customer can hear her in the next aisle, so she calls out in my defense.)

Elderly Customer: “I asked for your help, but all you did was fume about how much trouble it would be to get a step ladder!”

Employee: *shuts up*

It’s Breast Not To Be So A-Pair-rent

| Working | June 5, 2012

(In the 70s, my mother worked in the business office of a company that handled food supply. One of the superiors had a habit of speaking to women but looking only at their chests. She has a meeting with him in his office one day.)

Manager: *staring at my mother’s chest* “Do you have the reports I asked you to type up?”

My Mother: “Yes, Sir.”

(She hands him the papers. Throughout reading them, he looks up to comment, though his eyes never go far up.)

Manager: “Well, it seems we have everything here, [my mother’s name]. Good job. Let’s put this back in the folder and I can send it to—”

(He pauses as he looks up. My mother has written on the manila folder, “MY EYES ARE UP HERE” with an arrow pointing at her face and has it held up right over her chest. Her manager turned beet red and would never speak to her directly again!)

Accidon’t

| Working | June 5, 2012

(I’ve recently purchased a new living room set. Since I have three young, active boys and four cats, I decide to purchase the protection plan. In addition, I also purchase the upgrade titled “Accidental Damage Coverage”. Sure enough, about 6 weeks later, one of the boys tears the back of the recliner and I call the customer service line.)

Me: “I purchased a recliner 6 weeks ago and purchased the accidental damage protection plan. There’s a rip in the back, and I’d like to make a claim.”

Employee: “Okay, I have your account pulled up. How did the damage occur?”

Me: “My boys were rough-housing in the living room and tore the fabric on the back of the chair.”

Employee: “I see. Unfortunately, since the damage was the result of an accident, and not a manufacturing defect, the plan does not cover repair or replacement.”

Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t quite understand. What was the point of selling an accidental damage plan if it won’t cover accidental damage?”

Employee: “I do apologize, but the accidental damage plan does not cover accidental damage.”

Me: “Did you really just say that with a straight face?!”