(My father had an Asian coworker who worked front-house at the rib shack he works at. One day a customer walks in and is extremely rude to him. The coworker speaks perfect English, having been born in America.)

Customer: *very slowly and loudly* “I WOULD LIKE TO ORDER [ITEM]!”

Coworker: *asks him to repeat his order in scattered English*

Customer: *even louder* “I WOULD LIKE TO ORDER [ITEM].”

Coworker: *asks him to repeat in even more scattered English*

(This goes on for some time, and the coworker decides that the louder the customer says his order, the less English he knows. The coworker ends up shouting very angry-sounding Chinese very quickly, punctuating it with sharp arm movements. The customer leaves out of frustration.)

Dad: *after he finally stops laughing* “What were you shouting at that guy, anyway?”

Coworker: “I think it was an old fairy tale my parents used to tell me. It’s basically the Chinese version of Sleeping Beauty.”

(As a Canadian, a lot of our channels come from the US and, consequently, we are frequently shown commercials for things we can’t actually get without leaving the country. I am trying to find an Internet provider that doesn’t charge extortionate ($60+) prices for the most basic service, and decide to check out the website of a company I see advertised. Before I have a chance to find where they list the areas they serve, a live chat pops up, so I decide to ask the customer service rep instead, figuring a quick yes/no question would be quicker than searching the site.)

Me: “I was wondering if you provide service in Canada, or if you are US-only?”

Customer Service Rep: “Please provide your address, as our services vary according to location.”

Me: *lists address complete with postal code*

Customer Service Rep: “Thank you for your address. Please provide your zip code.”

Me: “I don’t have a zip code. My postal code is XXX XXX.”

Customer Service Rep: “I understand.” *long pause* “If you will not provide your zip code, I will have to refer you to [different level customer service].”

Me: “I am not providing a zip code because I do not have a zip code. I am Canadian. I have a postal code. That is why I asked if you provide service in Canada.”

Customer Service Rep: “I understand.” *another long pause* “We do not offer coverage in Canada.” *another pause* “Is there anything else I could help you with?”

Me: “No, but maybe next time you could read the first question before asking for irrelevant information and wasting both our time?”

Customer Service Rep: “I understand.”

(Somehow, I sincerely doubt that!)

(This happened back in the 60s when my mother was a secretary.)

Mother: “Maintenance, our air conditioner isn’t working.”

Maintenance: “We’ll get around to it in a day or so.”

Mother: “…We have lab rats here.”

Maintenance: “We’ll be right up!”

(Humans being uncomfortable was never as important as environmental controls on experiments. If a rat got too hot there’d be Hell to pay!)

Coworker: “Hey, what’s the bacon made out of?”

Me: *thinking he means if it’s turkey bacon* “It’s real bacon.”

Coworker: “Yeah, but what’s it MADE out of?”

(I am so dumbfounded by the question I actually stop what I am doing and just kinda stare into space, unsure how to respond. Another coworker, seeing my reaction, jumps in to say it’s pig.)

(I am 21 and take a temp job organizing paperwork for a major lawsuit involving a construction firm and several of its subcontractors. I love the work, and many of the people are nice. My boss, while being a fun and interesting person to hang out with, is a terrible supervisor.)

Boss: “Hey, [My Name], here’s another original document to add to the current batch.”

Me: “All righty! Where should I put it in?”

Boss: “Just the next opening will be fine, but be very careful with it as it’s an original with signatures.”

Me: “Sure thing.”

Boss: “Oh, and here’s a copy of it, but we don’t need this one.”

(At this point she takes the original document and tears it in two.)

Boss: “Oh, my God! What have you done!”

Me: “I didn’t do anything! You just tore the original!”

Boss: “You should not have given me the original to destroy! Now we have to index the copy! I thought you were smarter than this!”

Me: “But, [Boss]! The documents haven’t left your hands!”

Boss: “Don’t try to shift the blame, [My Name]! I saw what you did!”

(This wasn’t the first time such a thing happened or the last. Luckily, my National Guard unit activated soon after and I never went back!)