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Bad boss and coworker stories

It’s Breast Not To Be So A-Pair-rent

| Working | June 5, 2012

(In the 70s, my mother worked in the business office of a company that handled food supply. One of the superiors had a habit of speaking to women but looking only at their chests. She has a meeting with him in his office one day.)

Manager: *staring at my mother’s chest* “Do you have the reports I asked you to type up?”

My Mother: “Yes, Sir.”

(She hands him the papers. Throughout reading them, he looks up to comment, though his eyes never go far up.)

Manager: “Well, it seems we have everything here, [my mother’s name]. Good job. Let’s put this back in the folder and I can send it to—”

(He pauses as he looks up. My mother has written on the manila folder, “MY EYES ARE UP HERE” with an arrow pointing at her face and has it held up right over her chest. Her manager turned beet red and would never speak to her directly again!)

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Accidon’t

| Working | June 5, 2012

(I’ve recently purchased a new living room set. Since I have three young, active boys and four cats, I decide to purchase the protection plan. In addition, I also purchase the upgrade titled “Accidental Damage Coverage”. Sure enough, about 6 weeks later, one of the boys tears the back of the recliner and I call the customer service line.)

Me: “I purchased a recliner 6 weeks ago and purchased the accidental damage protection plan. There’s a rip in the back, and I’d like to make a claim.”

Employee: “Okay, I have your account pulled up. How did the damage occur?”

Me: “My boys were rough-housing in the living room and tore the fabric on the back of the chair.”

Employee: “I see. Unfortunately, since the damage was the result of an accident, and not a manufacturing defect, the plan does not cover repair or replacement.”

Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t quite understand. What was the point of selling an accidental damage plan if it won’t cover accidental damage?”

Employee: “I do apologize, but the accidental damage plan does not cover accidental damage.”

Me: “Did you really just say that with a straight face?!”

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The Rule Of Thumb

| Working | June 4, 2012

(I have just been promoted to a shift leader. I receive a manager’s code, which is through our thumbprints. This conversation follows in front of a dining area full of customers.)

Me: “Hey [coworker], guess what?!”

Coworker: “What?”

Me: “I got a thumbprint!”

Coworker: “Really?”

Me: “Yeah, I can give discounts and void stuff now!” *giggle*

Coworker: “Don’t let the power go to your head.”

Me: *complete with hand motions* “Muahahaha! Muahahahaha!”

Customers: *giving me strange looks*

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With Great Power Comes Great Stupidity

| Working | June 4, 2012

(We’d been having bad weather in Indiana, including tornadoes. Several of my coworkers and I are in the lounge talking about it. One coworker isn’t the brightest crayon in the box.)

Coworker #1: “One family lost their house in the storms.”

Me: “That would suck. I know several lost electricity or a while, but at least their houses are still standing. I’d rather lose the electricity than the entire house.”

Coworker #2: “Not me. I’d rather have electricity!”

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The Fabled Land Of Equality

| Working | June 4, 2012

(About two months before the release of Fable III for Xbox 360, I walked into our local Gamestop to preorder the special edition. I’m a girl. Here’s what happened.)

Male Cashier: *to my boyfriend* “You finding everything okay?”

Boyfriend: “Sure.”

Me: “I need to preorder the special edition Fable III.”

Male Cashier: *to my boyfriend* “You want to order Fable III?”

Boyfriend: “No.”

Me: “I want to order Fable III .”

Male Cashier: *to me* “The Nintendo DS games are over there. We just got the new Nintendogs.”

Me: “I am not interested in Nintendogs. Am I able to preorder the special edition Fable III ? I want the version that comes with the deck of cards and the Hobbe statue.”

Male Cashier: *to my boyfriend* “She’s ordering you the new Fable III?”

(Note that my boyfriend is on other side of the store looking at Wii games.)

Boyfriend: “No, but I would like to preorder Harry Potter 7 for Wii.”

Male Cashier: *to me* “You want to preorder Harry Potter 7 for Xbox?”

Me: “Dude. No. I want to preorder the $150 Limited Edition Fable III. I assume I can do that. Can I give you my money? I can come back tomorrow if you don’t understand.”

Male Cashier: *to my boyfriend* “You want me to ring up both your games in one transaction? You’re getting Fable III and Harry Potter, right?”

Boyfriend: “No, I don’t think I want the Harry Potter now. However, she wants to preorder Fable III.”

Male Cashier: “Okay, if you change your mind please let me know.”

(At this point, another male cashier arrives at work and approaches me.)

Other Male Cashier: *to me* “Can I help you with something?”

Me: “Yes. I want to preorder the special edition of Fable III.”

Other Male Cashier: “Oh! For your boyfriend?”

Boyfriend: “Hahahahaha!”

Me: “You all suck.”

First Male Cashier: “Wait. You play Fable?”

Me: *facepalm*

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