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Bad boss and coworker stories

This Boss Is A Lost Cause

| Working | June 7, 2012

(I work in a popular park for mountain bikers. We neighbor another park that many bikers use to access some of our trails. Because they have to make several turns on a road that has no signage, so people often get lost. I’m working on a project to order new signs, and I thought we could put some direction signs up in the neighboring park to show people how to get to our trails.)

Me: “So, at the two road intersections, I was going to put signs up with arrows pointing to our trailhead.”

Boss: “Well, most people use the trail that avoids the road to get up to our property.”

Me: “Yes, but if people know where that trail is, then they probably know where they’re going. We want to put signs up for first time users and beginners, right?”

Boss: “Oh, no! We don’t want to encourage those types of people to use our trails. They are the most likely to get lost!”

Me: “Isn’t that why we’re putting up signs?!”

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Equal Opportunity Innuender

| Working | June 6, 2012

(I’m a 16-year-old male waiting for my order. Several employees–all of them guys, except for a single female, are working on it.)

Female Employee: *to male coworkers* “Chop, chop! Let’s get it moving back there!”

Male Coworkers: *rolling their eyes*

Female Employee: “Hurry it up with that salami!”

(After some time, the new salami is cut and the female employee begins wrapping my sandwich.)

Female Employee: “God, that took forever! It felt so good to finally shove some meat in there!”

(There’s a brief, awkward pause while I stand their silently. Finally, the female employee speaks up.)

Female Employee: “That’s what SHE said.”

Me: “Wait…but you’re a girl!”

Female Employee: “Does it really matter, hon?” *leans over the counter at me and licks her lips*

Me: *shocked silence*

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Write Doesn’t Make Right

| Working | June 6, 2012

(One day, my boss meets me at the door as I report to work with a curt request to come to her office. With the door open so customers and co-workers can all hear, she begins lambasting me about my “unacceptable behavior” of late.)

Boss: *angrily* “Last night, [coworker] stated that you never spoke to him even once, hid in the back and refused to check out customers!”

Me: “First, we did talk, and—”

Boss: “He said it was pretty quiet!”

Me: “Well, I was in the back stocking the entire large food bag section entirely by myself.”

Boss: “Well, your behavior is unacceptable, so I’m writing you up!” *hands me a write-up to sign*

Me: “Okay, let me just get this straight. I am being written up for not talking to [coworker] because I was busy doing heavy stocking while he leaned on the counter up front and texted on his phone all night?”

(There is a pained silence where my boss and I simply stare unblinkingly at one another.)

Boss: *snatches the write-up from my hand* “Go and make today’s bank deposit.”

(I make the deposit as she requests, and return for the write-up.)

Me: *politely* “May I please sign the write-up?”

Boss: *defeated* “Oh, I tore that up…”

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Some People Can’t Stand Being Shown Up

| Working | June 6, 2012

(I am a customer shopping with my mother. Note that I am 5′ 10″ and female. The only employee to be seen is 4′ 6″ish. I’m standing around minding my own business, when an elderly customer taps my arm.)

Me: “Yes?”

Elderly Customer: “Excuse me, miss, but you look to be very tall.”

Me: “Yes, thank you?”

Elderly Customer: “Could you help me get something off a shelf?”

Me: “Sure.”

(The employee has overheard this conversation, but says nothing, opting to glare at me. The elderly lady guides me to an isle and asks me if I can reach some cat litter that is at the far end of a deep shelf, at my chest level. I manage to barely reach it by standing on my tip-toes.)

Elderly Customer: “Thank you, miss. That was very helpful!”

Me: “You are very welcome, ma’am.”

(I go back to where my mom is shopping, to see the employee standing with their arms crossed.)

Employee: *rudely* “Oh, and I suppose you think you’re so great because you’re tall?!”

(The employee has spoken it loudly enough that the elderly customer can hear her in the next aisle, so she calls out in my defense.)

Elderly Customer: “I asked for your help, but all you did was fume about how much trouble it would be to get a step ladder!”

Employee: *shuts up*

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I Can See Nu-clearly Now

| Working | June 5, 2012

(I am walking out of a discount retail store and overhear a conversation between a customer and an employee.)

Customer: “I go to Mexico to get all my prescriptions.”

Employee: “I go to Mexico to avoid radiation.”

Customer: “What?”

Employee: “Yeah, all the nookyooler reactors are in the northern hemisphere, so I go down there.”

(At this point, I can’t help but speak up.)

Me: “You know, Mexico is in the northern hemisphere.”

Employee: “Really? It is?”

Me: “Yes. You have to go all the way down to like Ecuador to get to the southern hemisphere.”

Employee: “Well, I guess I have radiation poisoning then!”

Customer: “I just go there to get prescriptions…”

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