(After recently moving, I’d had to find a new vet for my two rats after they developed a respiratory infection. This was the only vet within an hour’s travel that would even agree to see them.)

Vet: “All right, let me get their temperatures first.”

(He fumbles around in the jars and drawers of the exam room, finally pulling out a thermometer.)

Me: “Excuse me, sir, isn’t that thermometer a little large?”

Vet: “Nah. Good enough for dogs, good enough for rats. Right?”

Me: *shocked* “No! If you don’t have one sized for small animals could you please use one for cats, then?”

(He sighs and rolls his eyes, disappearing into the back for close to 20 minutes.)

Vet: “Okay… Temperature is 100.3 for both of them… Is that normal?”

Me: “Yes…”

Vet: “Hmmm… I’m gonna go check.”

(He leaves for another 20 minutes to Google a rat’s normal body temperature. By this time I’m starting to think I should just leave and find a different vet but I really need the antibiotics for them.)

Vet: “All right, well, I don’t think they have a respiratory infection. Their lungs sound clear. Every rat I’ve seen that comes in here with those infections can hardly breathe.”

Me: “Maybe if I waited another three weeks to bring them in. Sir, both of them are over a year old. That’s old for a rat and I’m not going to stress their already fragile respiratory tract.”

Vet: “Mmmhmm. I’m gonna give you 10 days of anti-histamines for both of them. Come back if they don’t work.”

(Note, it’s cost me $30 per rat just for the office visits. The anti-histamines cost me another $45. After 10 days there is no change and I’m back.)

Me: “They haven’t gotten any better. Could I please just get 30 days of antibiotics for the both of them?”

Vet: “Well, looks like they’ve got a mild respiratory infection. I’ll give you a week’s worth of [Antibiotic] for the both of them.”

Me: “No! I need 30 days. It takes much longer to clear these infections in rats than it does for dogs or cats.”

(I wound up having to argue with him to get the right amount and having to find multiple online sources stating the length of antibiotic use. In the end he wound up costing me near $300. After that I found it easier to drive the hour up to my old vet.)

(Our office is used by the night shift to print documents. Unfortunately, some have taken to eating their lunch in there and generally mistreating the space.)

Me: “I’m not happy about the office on nights.”

Boss: “What, why?”

Me: “Not only are they leaving half eaten food around but things are going missing.”

(Already I can tell that he isn’t listening, His office has a locked door joining ours.)

Boss: “Hmm, what’s been going missing?”

Me: “Sometimes just pens and safety glasses, but often it’s food and money.”

Boss: “Well, you shouldn’t leave money on the table.”

Me: “Yes, but people do occasionally forget. I don’t think it’s fair to have to be on high alert in your own office.”

Boss: “Well, there is nothing we can do about that.”

(I just about give up. There are several simple things that could have been done, but he couldn’t be bothered. A few weeks later this changes.)

Boss: “Why is there no coffee?” *to me* “I thought you managed this?”

Me: “I do, but someone came in last night and took it all.”

Boss: *almost pleading* “So there is no coffee at all?”

Me: “Not until I can get out at lunch and buy some.”

(Two weeks later we had a card reader on the office door. All thefts stopped shortly after. I overheard my boss tell someone how important it was for his team to feel safe. The whole team knew that he was only concerned about getting his morning cup of coffee.)

(I’m told I have a pretty thick Northern California accent, though I personally can’t hear it. I am visiting LA, which is only a few hours south of my hometown.)

Me: “Excuse me, how much is this item?”

Cashier: “Those are 14.99. Hey, you’ve got an accent! Where are you from?”

Me: *thinking it was obvious it was his own state* “One guess.”

Cashier: “Hmm… sounds like… New Orleans?”

(I still don’t know where he got that answer.)

(I’m awaiting a parcel and usually, when I’m not home, I will just have to pick them up at a nearby store. However, this time it is returned to sender, so I call the delivery company.)

Me: “Hi, I just wanted to ask you to send me my parcel again.”

Call-Centre Agent: “Okay, why did you not receive it the first time?”

Me: “Honestly, I’m not quite sure. I just got a note saying you neither found my doorbell nor my mailbox, so it was sent back.”

Call-Centre Agent: “Okay, so what’s so weird about that note? Maybe you—”

Me: “Let me stop you there. I found this note in my mailbox. Which you can only reach if you rang the doorbell first.”

Call-Centre Agent: “…I have NO idea how they managed to mess that up. I’ll order your parcel to be sent again.”

(I work at a fairly popular freshwater diving facility situated in a flooded quarry. I recently asked my friend to get me a cheeseburger since he was going to the snack stand on the other side of the park anyway. We use walkie-talkies to communicate, and they are all on the same channel.)

Coworker: *over walkie* “[My Name], come in. [My Name].”

Me: *thinking he had an issue on the way there I need to help with* “This is [My Name]. What do you need?”

Coworker: “Do you… uh… do you want ketchup on your burger?”

(I pause for a good 10 seconds because I’m aware that every employee in the park, including all three of my managers, as well as the company owner, can probably hear this.)

Me: *awkwardly* “Uh… yeah sure. Just a bit.”

(Suddenly, one of my managers cuts in. Thankfully he’s pretty laid back.)

Manager: “…Are you two seriously coordinating food orders over your walkies?”

Coworker: “Well, I’m not going to walk all the way back to talk to [My Name]. It’s hot out.”

Manager: “Eh, fair enough. I’m at the changing rooms. Can you bring me a soda on your way back? I’m thirsty.”