Bad boss and coworker stories

Lack Of Service For Those In The Service

, , , , , | Working | November 11, 2009

(I am home for leave from the military when this happens. I am picking up a six-pack from the grocery store through the self-checkout lane when the “Please wait for an attendant” window pops up. I wait for about five minutes and this teenage employee approaches me.)

Employee: “Sir, I need to see your ID.”

Me: “All right.”

(I hand her my military ID since I always keep my license in my car. She looks at it confused; this is pretty common, so I help her out.)

Me: “The birth date is on the back.”

Employee: “Uh, what the h*** is this?”

Me: “It’s a military ID.”

Employee: “I’m sorry; we don’t accept these.”

Me: “What?”

Employee: “We don’t accept military IDs. Do you have a driver’s license?”

(She clearly has no idea what she’s talking about, since I’ve bought alcohol from this grocery store many times with my military ID.)

Me: “Ma’am, my license is in my car; I’ve used this ID here before with no problems.”

Employee: *raising her voice* “I’m not going to repeat myself. No license, no beer.”

Me: “Look, is there a manager I can speak to? I’m sure we can work this out.”

Employee: “Sir, you cannot come in here and make up rules and then expect the manager to come help you. My manager told me…” *speaking really slowly like I’m some idiot* “NO… MILITARY… IDs!”

Me: “Ma’am, I find that very hard to believe. Please go get your manager.”

Customer: *throws her hands up in the air* “Fine! But he won’t help you, sir!”

(She walks behind the customer service desk and points me out to a manager. He walks over to me with a confused look on his face.)

Manager: “Is everything all right, sir?”

Me: “Yes, your employee told me you don’t accept military IDs?”

Manager: “What? Of course, we do. Let me see.”

(He takes my ID and looks at it.)

Manager: “Looks fine to me.”

(He enters the birth date on his computer and authorizes the transaction.)

Manager: “Is this what she was so upset about?”

Me: “I believe so.”

Manager: “Sir, please wait right there; I have something for you.”

(He walks away and returns with the previous employee.)

Manager: “I believe she has something she would like to say to you.”

Employee: *sheepishly* “I’m sorry.”

Manager: *angry* “I’m sorry… what?”

Employee: “I’m sorry, sir.”

Manager: “If I EVER find out you disrespected a service member in this store again, you will not only be fired, but you will no longer be welcome in this store, period. Now get back to work.”

(She quickly walks away. The manager hands me my six-pack.)

Manager: “I’m sorry for the inconvenience, and thank you for your service. Have a nice day.”


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May We Suggest Hire Education

, , , | Right Working | August 27, 2009

Customer: “Can I have an application to work here?”

Me: “We will need a copy of your resume before you fill out an application.”

Customer: “What’s a resume?”

Me: “A resume lists your work experience and contacts.”

Customer: “Where do I get one?”

Me: “You can find lots of books that tell you the correct way to fill one out.”

Customer: “Can you write one for me?”

Me: “I don’t think you’re gonna get this job.”

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Lowest Common Denominator: Found

, , , | Working | March 20, 2009

(This exchange happened between two coworkers.)

Waitress: “I need a fourth of a chicken to go, please.”

Cook: “Okay, a quarter chicken it is!”

Waitress: “NO! I ASKED FOR A FOURTH!”

Cook: “A quarter and a fourth are the same thing.”

Waitress: “Oh… is there another word for a half?”

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T-Minus Five Seconds Until YouTube

, | Working | June 24, 2008

(A student needed a stack of VHS tapes converted to DVD. The first couple of tapes were nothing special but the third looked like the camera had been set up in a hotel room. The three of us working in the lab were wondering if it was even her tape until we saw the student sit down on the bed. Then she laid back. Then someone else stepped into the frame and started taking off her shirt. I ran to the phone to call the student while a crowd gathered in front of the computer.)

Me: “Hi, this is [My Name] from the lab. We’re working on your tapes right now but we’re not quite sure about one of them.”

Student: “What do you mean?”

Me: “Well, one of them seems like it might have slipped into the stack accidentally.”

Student: “One of mine? Wha–OH MY GOD! The sex tape?!”

Me: “That’s what it looks like.”

Student: “Oh my god! Just box it up and hide it. I’ll be right down to pick it up!”

Me: “I’ll pull it right away.”

Student: “Please, don’t let anyone else watch it!”

(People cheer excitedly in the back of the lab.)

Me: “Don’t worry, ma’am. I’ve already shut it off.”

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The Early Bird Counts Its Chickens In The Bush

, , , , , , | Working | June 13, 2008

(My boss spent thirty-five years in the Army, and it shows. He is famous for quoting motivational posters.)

Boss: *to camper* “I understand your concern, ma’am, but sometimes you have to crawl before you can walk.”

Camper: “I just wanted to transfer campsites.”

Boss: “Understood. But sometimes it takes a village, right?”

Camper: *to me* “Can I speak with someone who isn’t on crack?”

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