Bad boss and coworker stories

(Ph)Owned

| Working | June 18, 2012

(My two sisters and I work together. One of my sisters gets migraines and has missed a lot of work. She also happens to be a very close friend of the owner’s son.)

Manager: “If your sister misses another day of work, I’m firing all three of you.”

Me: “I’m pretty sure that’s illegal.”

Manager: “Nope. I can fire you any time I want. I can fire you right now if I feel like it!”

(The owner’s son has actually been standing quietly behind the manager with his cellphone in hand.)

Owner’s Son: “Hey [manager], I got my dad on the phone here. He heard what you just said and he’d like to have a word with you…”

(The manager turns bright red and walks away, holding the phone to his ear. The owner’s son turns to me with a big smile.)

Owner’s Son: “Tell your sister I said get well soon!”

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Bureau-crazy, Part 2

| Working | June 18, 2012

(I am an American exchange student in Berlin. My wallet and passport were stolen, so I’m at the embassy to report the theft and order a new passport. This exchange takes place at security at the entrance. Note: I have a copy of the front page and my German visa.)

Security: “What is your purpose here?”

Me: “My passport was stolen, and I need to report the theft and apply for a new one.”

Security: “Do you have a valid passport?”

Me: “No, not on me; it was stolen. Here’s the copy, though.”

Security: “Sorry, you can’t get into without a valid passport.”

Me: “But that’s why I’m here. Mine was stolen.”

Security: “Well, do you have an appointment?”

Me: “No, my passport was stolen. This is not something I planned in advance.”

Security: “You can’t get in without an appointment.”

Me: “To report a stolen passport, which the website says to do immediately?”

Security: “Yes.”

Me: “Fine, how do I make an appointment?”

Security: “Well, you need a valid passport…”

(I finally get security to call and I am allowed inside. When I get there, the waiting room is empty, and the two workers are playing solitaire on their computers. So much for needing an appointment!)

 

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Banishing Bellatrix

, | Working | June 18, 2012

(My parents own a small bookstore. Being all fair-skinned redheads, it was only logical on Halloween that my three older brothers and I dress as the Weasleys from Harry Potter. Two other coworkers get into the spirit and dress as Harry and Draco. The newest coworker is a girl who isn’t really working out. She’s dressed in an overly-revealing princess costume, so we’ve asked her to change, which she complains about.)

Me: *to customer* “Thank you! Happy Halloween and come again!”

Regular Customer #1: “Thank you, Ginny! I love this place. You guys are always so cute!”

Me: “Thank you!”

Regular Customer #2: “So, Fred and George helped me find this book, but I need to order another one. Should I see Harry Potter or Draco Malfoy about that?”

New Coworker: *to Regular Customer #2* “What the h***?! That isn’t anyone’s name that works here. Are all your customers r******d or something?!”

Me: *to Regular Customer #2* “Draco will be more than happy to help you.” *to  New Coworker* “It’s just some Halloween fun… No need to be rude to our customers.” *to Regular Customer #2* “I’m sorry about that.”

New Coworker: “That’s dumb. This is the worst job I’ve ever had!”

Me: “This is the only job you’ve ever had.”

Regular Customer #2: *to New Coworker* “You were that girl who was dressed totally inappropriately, right?”

New Coworker: “You can’t talk to me like that!”

Brother #1: “Sure she can. Ma’am, I’ll be happy to escort you over to Mister Malfoy.”

New Coworker: “You people are a joke! You just can’t stand that I’m working here!”

Me: “What?!”

New Coworker: “It’s because I’m so pretty, isn’t it?! It’s because I’m blond and pretty!”

(Note: Regular Customer #3 is a young, college-aged guy who comes in a couple times a week.)

Regular Customer #3: *to New Coworker* “Hey, could you maybe get out of the way so I can actually buy these books and talk to the lovely little redhead there? You’re just kind of taking up space.”

New Coworker: “I am not!”

Regular Customer #3: “Uh huh…” *to me* “So, Ginny, wanna go out with me tonight? There’s this party and I was hoping maybe you’d go with me.”

New Coworker: “What?! You’re seriously asking HER?! But I’m BLOND and PRETTY!”

Regular Customer #3: “…and rude. Let’s not forget rude. Now, please, I’m trying to have a conversation here.”

New Coworker: “Oh, my God, I quit! This place is awful! NO ONE APPRECIATES ME!”

(She runs out of the store, throwing her name tag at me in the process.)

Brother #2: “Harry Potter’s scar no longer burns… The evil one, she has been defeated.”

Regular Customer #3: “Well, at least she’s gone. I was serious about that party, though.”

(We’ve been dating ever since!)

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Don’t Spite The Hand That Pays You

| Working | June 17, 2012

(I’m buying a honey-flavored Greek yogurt at the grocery store. The cashier picks it up and looks at me with a look of disgust.)

Cashier: “Who eats this crap?”

Me: “Uh…me?”

Cashier: “Oh!”

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Two Oblongs Don’t Make A Right

Working | June 17, 2012

(Note: I’m working the drive-thru.)

Coworker: “Hey, ask this next guy how his mom’s doing.”

Me: “Uh, okay…” *to customer* “Hey, how’s your mom doing?”

Customer: “She’s in f***ing jail! Thanks for asking!”

(The customer drives from the intercom to my window, pulls down his pants, shakes his butt at us, and then drives away. The next customer in line pulls up.)

Next Customer: “What the H*** was that?!”

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