Bad boss and coworker stories

It’s Nobody’s Business

| Working | April 26, 2012

(I am a manager at my local fast food restaurant. I’m talking to an elderly, slightly mean coworker before I leave for college.)

Coworker: “You’re going to Penn State, right?”

Me: “No, actually I’m going to the University of Pennsylvania.”

Coworker: “That’s what I said.”

Me: “The University of Pennsylvania is an entirely different school.”

Coworker: “No, it’s not.”

Me: “Yes, the University of Pennsylvania is in the Ivy League, and Penn State is in the Big 10.”

Coworker: “What’s the Ivy League?”

Me: “The Ivy League is all of the schools like Harvard, Yale, and Princeton.”

Coworker: “Oh… I always thought you were a nobody!”

Me: *speechless*

(My store manager, who has overheard the entire conversation, speaks up.)

Store Manager: *to coworker* “Have you ever considered that if he were a nobody, you would be his boss, and not the other way around?”

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Case Insensitive

| Working | April 26, 2012

(Our company policy is to have user accounts get locked if they type their password wrong three times in a row.)

Employee: “I’m locked out! This must be a system failure, because I can’t be that stupid to type in my password wrong.”

Me: “Well, you were indeed locked out. I just unlocked you, so go ahead and try it again.”

(I hear the employee type loudly over the phone.)

Employee: “It’s still not working! See, I told you it’s a problem with the system!”

Me: “Did you check if you probably have Caps Lock on or Num Lock off?”

Employee: “You must really think I’m stupid! I already checked that!”

(I hear him typing again, but softer.)

Employee: “Oh… it’s working now.” *hangs up*

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Light (Up) The Way

| Working | April 25, 2012

Me: “Hi, I have this coupon for clams but I’m not finding any.”

Employee: “Oh, yo… nah, we’re all out. You like mahi mahi, though? THAT’S SOME GOOD S***!”

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Like Watching A Sub Opera

, | Working | April 25, 2012

(I walk into a sandwich shop and order two subs. When I make it to the cash register, I see two cashiers and hand one of them a coupon: two meals for $10.00. The cashiers aren’t sure how to use the coupon, so they begin arguing. After arguing for ten straight minutes, my friend — who has been waiting outside — pokes his head in the door to see if I am almost done. Hearing this, one of the cashiers cuts in.)

Cashier #1: “Is that your boyfriend?”

Me: “No, he’s—”

Cashier #2: “What a boyfriend! Sends a girl in to get him his food, and with a coupon!”

Me: “He’s really not my boy—”

Cashier #1: “I bet he told you to go get him a sandwich, didn’t he?”

Me: “He’s not my—”

Cashier #2: “Here, this cookie is for you. Break up with that jerk!”

Me: “But we’re not—”

Cashier #1: “I better not see you sharing this cookie with him. It’s for you!”

Me: “Okay, I won’t. I’ll just break up with him, then.”

Both Cashiers: “You do that!”

(I went outside and explained to my friend that I was “breaking up” with him because the sub shop cashiers told me to. All the while, the cashiers were inside applauding over my “break up.”)

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A Bit Sweet Behind The Ears

| Working | April 25, 2012

(I’m nursing a sore throat, so I bring some honey in to work with me one day.)

Coworker: “Are you gonna put that honey in something to drink?”

Me: *joking* “No, I put it in my ear.”

Coworker: “What? Why?”

(I think he’s just playing dumb, so I play along.)

Me: “Because it helps sore throats.”

Coworker: “No way…how?”

(At this point, a call interrupts us. I’m pretty sure that either he’ll understand it was a joke or someone will set him straight. But then, a few hours later…)

Coworker: “Seriously, do you use a Q-tip to get it in there, or what?”

Me: “No, I just use one to get out the excess honey.”

Coworker: “But seriously, how does that work?”

Me: “You just pour it in and it soothes everything.”

Coworker: “Wow!”

Me: *laughing uncontrollably*

Coworker: *feeling dumb* “Oh.”

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