Bad boss and coworker stories

Meat-Headed Questions

| Working | May 2, 2012

(I work in the campus pub of my university. Staff get meals for a huge discount during their shift. Part of our menu is a signature burger. We also have a vegetarian burger. This conversation occurs as a coworker is trying to figure out what to have for their staff meal.)

Coworker #1: “Have you tried the veggie burger here?”

Me and Coworker #2: *shake heads*

Coworker #1: “Do you know if it’s any good?”

Coworker #2: “Well, it is one of the healthier options we have.”

Coworker #1: “Is it anything like meat?”

Me and Coworker #2: “Not really…”

Coworker #1: “Oh. Because I kind of want the taste of meat.”

*awkward silence*

Coworker #1: “Maybe I should just get the regular burger, huh?”

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Equipment 1, Employee 0

, | Working | May 1, 2012

(We have just finished eating at a fast food restaurant. Suddenly, we hear an employee yell from the back.)

Employee: “I hate you, you stupid shake machine!”

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The Product Of A Low Intelligence Quotient

| Working | May 1, 2012

(I’m working on the register while my coworker works in our hot deli.)

Coworker: “Can you ring me up for two biscuits with the half-off discount and tell me how much it is? I rang it up on the calculator, but I don’t think it’s right.”

Me: “Well, what did you get?”

Coworker: “Well, I typed in $0.89 times two and then divided it in half, and I ended up with $0.89 again!”

Me: “[Coworker], really?”

Coworker: “What?”

Me: “What’s $0.89 times TWO divided by TWO?”

Coworker: *embarrassed* “Oh God. Just ring me up, please.”

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Case Insensitive

| Working | April 26, 2012

(Our company policy is to have user accounts get locked if they type their password wrong three times in a row.)

Employee: “I’m locked out! This must be a system failure, because I can’t be that stupid to type in my password wrong.”

Me: “Well, you were indeed locked out. I just unlocked you, so go ahead and try it again.”

(I hear the employee type loudly over the phone.)

Employee: “It’s still not working! See, I told you it’s a problem with the system!”

Me: “Did you check if you probably have Caps Lock on or Num Lock off?”

Employee: “You must really think I’m stupid! I already checked that!”

(I hear him typing again, but softer.)

Employee: “Oh… it’s working now.” *hangs up*

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Not A-Moo-sing In The Least

, | Working | April 26, 2012

(A coworker-in-training is asking me some questions about the different ingredients in each sub.)

Coworker: “So, what animal does turkey come from?”

Me: “Turkey.”

Coworker: “Yeah, the turkey breast… What animal is that from?”

Me: *gives up* “Cow.”

Coworker: “Really?”

Me: “No.”

(Believe it or not, she became the general manager of our store!)

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