Bad boss and coworker stories

Just Another Day At The (Microsoft) Office

, | Working | May 11, 2012

Employee: “Hi, thank you for calling [bank] Online Banking Technical Support. How can I assist you today?”

Me: “Yes, I work at [bank] and am trying to help [person] do their online banking and it keeps saying, ‘Service not available at this time.’ I wanted to see if it was down all over, or if it was just their account.”

Employee: “Our system isn’t down. So, do you know how to clear the cookies from your browser?”

Me: “Yes. Just give me a minute.”

Employee: “Now, are you in Internet Explorer?”

Me: “I’m not in Internet Explorer. I’m in Google Chrome. Is that not supported?”

Employee: *condescendingly* “Honey, Google is a search & email service. It’s not a browser. Are you in FoxFire?”

Me: “No…honey. Google Chrome is a browser.”

Employee: “Is that C-R-O-M?”

Me: “No. C-H-R-O-M-E. You know what? Never mind. I’ll try Explorer. You have a good day…”

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Loss Prevention Presumes Boss Attention

| Working | May 11, 2012

(My coworker and I are giving our boss grief about being spacey and not paying attention. This begins as she’s walking out to the sales floor from the stock room we’re all in. Note: We wear all-black uniforms.)

Me: *loud enough for boss to hear* “I bet I could take one of these right from under her nose and she’d never notice.”

Boss: *from sales floor* “No, you couldn’t!”

(My coworker throws me an iPhone box, and I stick it into my belt. It’s pretty hard to miss, with the white box sticking straight out of my pants, silhouetted against my all-black uniform. I make no move to hide it. A few moments later, my boss walks into the stock room.)

Boss: *repeating what she said* “No, you couldn’t.”

(At this point, she walks around me from one side to the other.)

Boss: *points two fingers in a “V” at her eyes, and leans in close* “I’ve got my eyes on you!”

(I’m having a hard time suppressing a smile. My coworker is in open-mouthed shock. Our boss looks back and forth between him and I several times, asking ‘What?’ repeatedly. Finally, she looks down and sees the glaring beacon of white.)

Boss: *laughing to the point of tearing up* “OH MY GOD!”

(From that point on, it became a running story. We told everyone at our store, and even other locations. The last thing I did on my last day working for the company was to tell this story to the new guy. The boss’ reaction? “I’m never gonna live that down!”)

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Toe-tally Not Helping

| Working | May 11, 2012

(I am shopping for shoes and am being “helped” by the salesman. Note that there is no language barrier.)

Me: “Um, I don’t think this pair is going to do it.”

Salesman: “What’s the matter with them?”

Me: “They don’t fit.”

Salesman: “But what’s wrong with them?”

Me: “They hurt here…” *pointing* “…and here…” *pointing* “…and they are squashing my toes.

Salesman: *gets agitated* “But what’s wrong with them?!”

Me: “I think the toes may be too pointy. I guess I have rather square feet.”

Salesman: “But you don’t like them?!”

Me: “No, I think my toes are too—”

Salesman: “I can’t help it if you have stupid feet!”

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Half A Half A Brain

| Working | May 10, 2012

(My manager is adding in the nutritional information for macaroni and cheese into the scale printer.)

Manager: “Wow, I didn’t know that there was so much salt in this mac and cheese! In a medium sized container, there is 50% of your daily sodium.”

Coworker: “What? HALF that container is salt?!”

Manager: “No. I mean a medium sized container of mac and cheese has 50% of your daily salt intake.”

Coworker: “So…half of that mac and cheese is salt?”

Manager: “No, I mean that there is a lot of salt in this mac and cheese. If one was to eat a medium sized container, they would have 50% of their salt.”

Coworker: “Oh, I get it. Half of that is salt!”

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This Company Is On Its Last Legs

| Working | May 10, 2012

(My boyfriend and I have both worked in the service industry for years, so we know it can be rough. We had just bought a couch from a furniture company and it arrived without legs. We have been waiting for hours on hold and speaking with various employees.)

Me: “Hi, my couch just got delivered but it doesn’t have any legs.”

Employee: “Okay…?”

Me: “So, can you have someone come and drop them off?”

Employee: “Hmm…well, you know you can buy legs for a sofa from pretty much any hardware store, right?”

Me: “Yes, but I already bought them from you.”

Employee: “I don’t understand.”

Me: “Okay. Well, if you bought a car from a dealership and they gave it to you but it didn’t have wheels, would you ask them where the wheels you already paid for are, or go buy a new set of tires from someone else?”

Employee: “I still don’t really get it.”

Me: “…is there someone else I can talk to?”

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