(This is my first office job, and whilst the office is generally staffed by middle aged ladies, they’ve recently employed quite a few of us “youths” to try and energise the business, apparently. This discussion takes place between I and two coworkers, all aged 19.)
Coworker #1: “Ugh, I don’t understand this client email. What does ambiguous mean?”
Coworker #2: “Isn’t that them animals that can breathe underwater?”
(It’s the day after Halloween, and the drugstore still has a few bags of trick-or-treat candy, but there’s no sale sign up. I see a bag of my favorite candy, which is hard to find, so I grab it.)
Cashier: “I’m afraid these are not on sale.”
Me: “Yeah, I didn’t see a sign, so I figured they’d be regular price.”
Cashier: *stares at me for a moment, as if he’s waiting for me to throw a tantrum* “You know what? I’m going to give them to you for the sale price.”
(I have a notoriously bad manager that no one likes to work with. One of her favourite tricks is to ask people to do half hour or hour long tasks only minutes before their shifts end, and when they rush to get it half done, she tells them to stay for a few extra minutes to get it finished. After the last time she does this to me, I’m done with her tricks.)
Manager: “Hey, you took way too long to do the garbage and sweep the lot.”
Me: “…It’s one of the busiest days of the season.”
Manager: “It shouldn’t take an hour.”
Me: “The parking lot is full of cars that I needed to work around, and half the people in those cars are throwing trash onto the lot as I’m sweeping it. Not to mention the garbage bins were all overflowing and the dumpster is completely full.”
Manager: “You need to go faster.”
(Fast forward to the end of my shift.)
Manager: “Hey, why don’t you go do the garbage?”
Me: “I leave in five minutes.”
Manager: “You can start them.”
(I begin the garbage, and stop as soon as my shift is over.)
Me: “I started garbage, but you’re on your own to finish them.”
Manager: “But you’re half done. You may as we—”
Me: “So you’re paying me?”
Manager: “What?”
Me: “I’m staying past the end of my shift. You’re keeping me for an extra half-hour and paying me for it?”
Manager: *laughs* “No, I am not.”
Me: “Then have fun with the garbage.”
(I left. She never tried to pull that trick on me again.)
(My sister takes me through a fast food drive-thru near us.)
Sister: “Can I order two six-nugget meals, one diet coke, and one full-fat coke?”
Staff: “Sorry. We don’t do full fat. Only normal.”
(My husband and I are from Australia.)
Cashier: “Where are you guys from?”
Me: “Oh, we are from Australia!”
Cashier: “Oh? Where is that?”
My Husband: *a bit shocked* “It’s over near Asia, in the Pacific Ocean. It’s a country called Australia.”
Cashier: “Oh, I’m not real familiar with my US states. What state is it next to?”
Me: *gobsmacked* “Erm, it’s a country, not in the USA.”
Cashier: “Oh, okay.”
