(My mother has taken my 91-year-old grandfather to the supermarket. He is very frail and has short term memory problems so cannot react quickly. He is standing near the car while Mum locks the doors when a supermarket employee pushes a row of supermarket trollies towards him at speed. Mum dives out and grabs the front trolley just before it hits Grandad.)

Mum: *angrily* “Careful! You almost hit him.”

Worker: “You can’t speak to me like that; that’s harassment!”

Mum: “…and nearly knocking over a man in his 90’s isn’t?”

(My doctor’s office is part of a large local “franchise” with lots of different departments and offices, so they have a central line that goes to an operator and directs from there. I’ve called it to find a fax number.)

Operator: “Thank you for calling [Franchise] Central Operator. How may I help you?”

Me: “Hi, can I please have the fax number for the endocrinology department?”

Operator: “Sure, one second.”

(There is a very long pause.)

Operator: “I have… the endocrinology GROUP? Is that what you’re looking for?”

Me: “…Yes, that’s the one. Thank you.”

(I work at a small gym where we get most of our cleaning and other duties done fairly quickly. Many of us workout during dead times. We have tvs on only one of the walls.)

Me: *to my manager* “Hey, if there’s nothing else you need me to do, I’d like to get a bit of a workout in, if that’s all right.”

Manager: “So long as you watch the door while you’re at it.”

Me: “Don’t worry; I’ll just be on [machine that’s near the door].”

Manager: “That’s great. I always turn that one around when I workout and I have to watch the door. Here let me help you!”

(She helps me turn it around.)

Manager: “Perfect! Now you can see the door perfectly.”

Me: *jokingly* “Aw man, but now I can’t watch TV.” *beat* “Not that I watch TV on the clock.”

(My boss and I are huge Game of Thrones Fans. A former manager decided what characters we all were and we harass each other as such on a daily basis.)

Manager: *glares at me as I’m walking by* “…Tarth.”

Me: *glares back and keeps walking* “…Baratheon.”

(Later on he finds his way back into my department.)

Manager: “Death to Brienne of Tarth!”

Me: “At least I get things done. That’s more than they can say for House Baratheon.”

Manager: “LISTEN. Stannis Baratheon gets things done, too!”

Me: “Okay, name ONE thing that was all Stannis and not him hiding behind Melisandre. I’ll wait.”

Manager: “…Okay, you have a point.”

(A woman working the customer service desk walks up, who also happens to be a fan of the show.)

Me and the Manager: “HOUSE TULLY!”

(Another coworker who doesn’t watch Game of Thrones hears the exchange)

Coworker: “You guys are nerds…”

(At my office there is a coworker who takes every opportunity to make out how he’s so much better than the rest of us and deserves ‘special’ privileges – which he doesn’t get because he’s also lazy. He’s notorious for complaining about anything another person has that he doesn’t. We are moving to a new office building where there is practically no car parking and all the staff have been informed. I’m disabled and have a permit that lets me use one of the disabled parking bays so I will be parking my car at the new place. He complains to the boss:)

Coworker: “This is discrimination and I’m going to complain!”

Manager: “About what?”

Coworker: “About how my parking space is being taken away from me! I’ve got a parking spot here but not at the new building!”

Manager: “Nobody has a parking space there. Heck, I don’t have a parking space there. We’ve all got to figure out how to get to work now. We’re all in the same boat.”

Coworker: *pointing at me* “So why does SHE get a parking spot, then? This is discrimination!”

Manager: “…She’s got disabled parking.”

Coworker: “Then I demand it, too!”

Manager: “Are you disabled?”

Coworker: “No, but why does she get special treatment that I don’t get?”

Manager: “…Because she’s disabled?”

Coworker: “I DEMAND the same privileges!”

Manager: “Then go get yourself in the same kind of car accident that smashed her up and we’ll talk.”