Bad boss and coworker stories

It’s Nobody’s Business

| Working | April 26, 2012

(I am a manager at my local fast food restaurant. I’m talking to an elderly, slightly mean coworker before I leave for college.)

Coworker: “You’re going to Penn State, right?”

Me: “No, actually I’m going to the University of Pennsylvania.”

Coworker: “That’s what I said.”

Me: “The University of Pennsylvania is an entirely different school.”

Coworker: “No, it’s not.”

Me: “Yes, the University of Pennsylvania is in the Ivy League, and Penn State is in the Big 10.”

Coworker: “What’s the Ivy League?”

Me: “The Ivy League is all of the schools like Harvard, Yale, and Princeton.”

Coworker: “Oh… I always thought you were a nobody!”

Me: *speechless*

(My store manager, who has overheard the entire conversation, speaks up.)

Store Manager: *to coworker* “Have you ever considered that if he were a nobody, you would be his boss, and not the other way around?”

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Viva La Rip-olucion

| Working | April 25, 2012

(A package has just arrived with an advertisement poster that our department is supposed to display.)

Me: “[Manager], we got a package.”

Manager: *opens package* “Oh, it’s another one of those poster ads. I hate these! We even already have one of just like this. Hmm…”

(My manager folds the poster twice and steps on it, ripping it. He then stuffs it in the trashcan.)

Manager: “Oh, darn. It looks like it got damaged in the shipment. I guess we can’t use it!”

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Why Don’t You Lead By Example

| Working | April 25, 2012

(I’ve made a call to a business and have reached the owner of the shop. I’ve given him a short description of the health and safety training we offer for his employees.)

Boss: “Health? Safety? I wouldn’t care if all my employees died today!”

Me: “Uh…okay. Thank you for your time.” *hangs up*

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0 Brains

| Working | April 25, 2012

(Note: I’m a customer. I overhear two female employees while I’m in the fitting room trying on a dress. They’re apparently reading the label on a soda bottle.)

Employee #1: “If this has 0 calories, 0 carbs, and no sugar, what makes it different from water? I mean, if you could drink this, why would you ever drink water?”

Employee #2: “Uhh, I guess it has sodium in it.”

Employee #1: “What’s sodium? What’s that do to you?”

Employee #2: “I guess it dries you out and stuff.”

Employee #1: “Well, I have oily skin anyway!”

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Half A Brain

, | Working | April 25, 2012

Employee: “Thank you for calling [Restaurant]. Carry out or delivery?”

Me: “Delivery.”

Employee: “Okay, go ahead with your order.”

Me: “I would like a large pineapple pizza, half without cheese.”

Employee: “Which half would you like the cheese on?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Employee: “Which half of the pizza would you like the cheese on?”

Me: *after pausing for a moment* “The… left half.”

Employee: “Okay, your total will be $12.72 and your pizza should be there in 35 minutes!”

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