(I’m busy stocking coolers with fresh food and drinks when I get down on my knees to stock the lowest shelf. I have in my lap the clear plastic tub we use to store food in the storage room which is also keeping the cooler door propped open. This is no problem; it’s light enough and I’m taller than the cooler. As I’m stocking an associate from another department comes up and pulls open the door further which knocks the tub from my lap and I look up at him confused.)

Me: “What are you doing?”

Associate: “What? Helping you? I thought you needed help.”

Me: “No, I got it. It’s fine.” *he continues to hold the door open* “Really.” *he lets go to let it fly back at me but I catch it*

Associate: “So-rry. I was just trying to help you.”

Me: “I’m sorry. I’m just not used to people helping me out, I guess.”

Associate: “The correct response is ‘thank you.’”

(I had a completely different response in my mind that I thought was also correct.)

(I’m vegetarian so when I go out with friends, I usually have to modify menu items to include no meat. We are at a popular Mexican fast food establishment when this happens.)

Me: “Can I get a taco salad with no meat, please?”

Worker: “Taco salad. Would you like ground beef, chicken, or steak?”

Me: “None.”

Worker: “Okay, no taco salad.”

Me: “No. I want a taco salad, just without the meat.”

Worker: “Our taco salads have either beef, chicken, or steak in them.”

Me: “Yes, but I want one without the meat.”

Worker: *just blankly stares at me* “Taco salads have meat.”

(I gave up and just ordered menu items that have no meat in them to start with.)

(It is a week before Christmas. I have found out I have a massive amount of points available at a certain retailer, and decide I’d like to use them on a new perfume I had been wanting for a while.)

Me: “Hi there! Just wondering if you have any more of [Perfume] in stock?”

Associate: “I’m afraid we’re all sold out of that one right now. Was it for a gift or for yourself?”

Me: “Oh, darn, I kinda figured that might happen. There’s no rush; it’s just for myself. Just figured if you had it I’d buy it now. No big deal.”

Associate: “Well, hold on a sec. Let me see what I can do here.”

(She disappears for a moment and comes back with a travel atomizer.)

Associate: “I don’t know if I’d get in trouble for this or not, but in the name of customer service…”

(She takes the atomizer from the package and fills it with the perfume from the tester bottle of the perfume I had wanted.)

Associate: “I know you’re going to buy it anyway, so this way you can wear it now and not have to wait until it comes back in!”

(She only charged me for the price of the atomizer. I thanked her profusely and am really loving this scent! Thank you to this lovely associate for taking a risk to completely going above and beyond!)

(We have an annoying sounding alarm at the front doors of the shop. Just about everything sets it off: our security tags, other stores’ items, mobile phones. It’s just before Christmas:)

Little Boy: “Mummy, what is that sound?”

Me: *before his mum can respond* “Oh, that’s our Santa alarm to tell us when Santa is looking in this direction. We know to be really good when it’s going off.”

(Alarm sounds again.)

Little Boy: *straightens up* “I’ll be good!”

(I work IT in a health care clinic. We have multiple sites. I get a call from a user. During the call, this happens:)

Me: *I say exactly this wanting the user to type ‘I:’* “Type I, colon, the slash that goes from the upper left, to the lower right, next to the enter key.”

User: “I, colon, s,l,a…”