(My friend is over with her five-year-old daughter visiting me and my infant daughter. We decide to order from a small local chain pizza place that is known to take a little longer to take than most nation-wide chains. We order online and it gives us a time of 40 minutes to expect the delivery, which is fine.)

Friend’s Daughter: “When is the pizza gonna be here? I’m hungry!”

Friend: “Any time now! It’s supposed to be here at 7 and it’s 7 just now.”

(15 minutes later…)

Me: “I can’t believe the pizza isn’t here yet. It’s a weeknight; they shouldn’t be that busy… Maybe my order got lost online? I’ll call and see what’s up.”

(I call the shop.)

Me: “Hi, I ordered a pizza online over 45 minutes ago. It said it was supposed to be here at 7.”

Worker #1: “Yes, I remember that order. I’m sorry about that. The delivery driver just left with your order; he should be there in a few minutes.”

(I thank her and we wait another ten-fifteen minutes. Our town is VERY small and it would not take that long to deliver anything from their location. I first figured he was having trouble finding our house, which can be tricky, but I’ve never had this issue before. I call back.)

Me: “Hi, it’s [My Name] again. I called fifteen minutes ago about our pizza being late? We still haven’t gotten our pizza. I wanted to check on that.”

Worker #2: “He had another delivery. He should be there any minute now. Sorry about that!”

Me: “Okay, thanks. That’s fine.”

(They’ve been very polite both times I’ve called, and I have never had issues before, so I don’t complain. But then we wait another 10 minutes and I frustratingly call back, which is difficult with my social anxiety. So I’m very upset, but try to be polite. The first worker, who I know is the manager, answers again.)

Me: “Hi there. It’s [My Name]. I called twice already and we don’t have our pizza yet. I’d like to know when it’s going to be here? I ordered our food over an hour ago… We have kids that need to go to bed.”

Worker #1: “I’m sorry about that. I have no idea what’s going on. Can you give me your name and number again for me so I can give you a call back? I’ll call our driver and find out what the holdup is.”

Me: “Thank you.”

(My friend’s daughter is getting impatient, tired, and grumpy. We’re all annoyed and watching out the window for the driver. A couple minutes later, the manager calls me back.)

Worker #1: “Hi, is this [My Name]? I’m so sorry about the delay.” *she’s audibly annoyed with the driver* “The driver is on his way. I have no idea what happened, but we won’t be charging your card for the food. Again, I’m terribly sorry about that.”

Me: “Thank you very much. I appreciate it.”

(I’ve worked in food service, so I know it’s likely only the driver’s fault. I don’t blame the restaurant, but I’m really mad. I finally am able to put my daughter down to bed, and the pizza comes while I’m doing so. I instructed my friend to sign the slip if she still needs to, but no tip. After, she tells me what happened.)

Friend: “So it was some young guy, couldn’t have been out of high school very long. Didn’t say sorry or anything! Just had me sign the slip, mumbled that the manager said it’s free, and gave me a look when I didn’t give him a tip!”

(And, not surprisingly since it was 45 minutes late, the pizza was cold! At least it was free.)

(I am in the line for the 12 items or fewer checkout and in front of me, currently being served, is a pretty girl who looks to be about 20 years old. She is only purchasing one item, which is tampons. The checkout is being run by a boy of about the same age.)

Cashier: *with a disgusted look* “Oh, eww, why are you buying these?”

Girl: “Because I need them.”

Cashier: “Can’t you go to the self serve checkouts or something? I don’t want to touch these!”

Girl: “Why? It’s not like they’ve been used. Each one is individually wrapped, sealed in a cardboard box, which is again sealed in plastic.”

Cashier: “It’s just that they go, you know, up ‘there.'”

Girl: “Well, so can a d**k but you still touch yours.”

(The cashier went pale and fumbled through the rest of the transaction as I tried to hide my laughter.)

(This happened a while ago on my 13th birthday. I have been a fan of table-top RPGs for a long time. It is around I week before my birthday and I am looking for something to ask my mother for. I am in their back, less visited room when I notice a first edition version of Dungeons & Dragons. Seeing it doesn’t have a price tag I go up to the counter to ask.)

Me: “Hey, I found this in your back room and noticed that it doesn’t have a price tag… How much is it?”

Employee: “Oh, uh, hang on a minute.” *checks for a price tag* “Well… how much are you willing to pay for it?”

Me: “Oh, I don’t have any money on me right now but my birthday is in a couple of days and I was looking for stuff to recommend to my mom.”

Employee: “Oh, okay. Then, let’s say 10$.”

Me: “Thank you.”

(While I am putting it back a man who I have never met before walks up to me and says:)

Stranger: “Hey, happy birthday. I bought it for you. Go and ask the guy working if you don’t believe me.”

(He then ran off. Thank you random stranger, for making my day!)

(I work in the backroom of our store, unpacking boxes of merchandise that come off the trucks. There are no customers, so all of us talk freely while we work. My coworker likes to ask me about myself, even though we have very different interests. It’s also important to note that, because of my schooling and hobbies, I’m not an expert on any given subject, but I tend to know a little bit about a lot of different things.)

Me: *in response to something* “It’s because no one teaches history these days. There are college kids who don’t even know who we fought in the Revolutionary War.”

Coworker: *looks at me nervously* “It was… Britain? Right?”

Me: *relieved* “Yes, the British Empire. And you know who won the Civil War, right?”

Coworker: “Uh, I know it wasn’t the Confederates.”

Me: “Right, the Union. The North.”

(On another day, while I’m reading a book during our lunch break.)

Coworker: “[My Name], did you just laugh?”

Me: “Yeah.”

Coworker: “What’s so funny in there?”

Me: “Uh, it’s hard to explain unless you know what’s going on. It’s a fantasy story, really involved. It’s a lot like Dungeons & Dragons.”

Coworker: “What’s Dungeons & Dragons?”

Me: “Oh. Um. It’s a tabletop game.” *I get a blank stare from her* “Look it up on your phone.”

Coworker: “Okay. How do you spell dungeon?”

Me: *off the top of my head* “D-U-N-G-E-O-N.”

(When we get back from lunch, she opens a box with candles in it.)

Coworker: “Pomello-scented. What’s a pomello?”

Me: “Oh, it’s a type of big citrus fruit, kind of like a grapefruit but sweeter.”

Coworker: “How do you know everything?!”

(It’s the holiday season and I’m shopping for gifts at one of the huge national upscale mall department stores. My parents are comfortably well-off and don’t have many hobbies or interests, so are extremely difficult to shop for; since we all have money, gift cards seem silly and impersonal. After a lot of searching, I stumble onto a gadget that I think Dad will find useful. It is low-priced, but it suits the two genuine hobbies/interests Dad has and I think he would really appreciate the gift, so I’m quite pleased with my find. I go to the counter to pay for it.)

Employee: *while ringing up my purchase and taking my money* “Wow, quite a cheap gift. Don’t you think you should get them something better?”

Me: *speechless*

(Nothing further was said by either of us. The guy ruined my shopping experience and nearly made me cry. And his idea of holiday spirit seemed quite ironic: money is everything… I wish in retrospect I’d let a manager know the kinds of things their employees say to customers in a very misguided attempt to encourage more spending. I never set foot in that store again.  My dad did like the gift and used it often.)