Get Rex Or Die Tryin’

| Working | August 20, 2012

(My boss and I are discussing the Ides of March, which is a few days away. A not too bright coworker is listening in.)

Boss: “I’d better be careful. I don’t want to get killed here at work.”

Me: “Oh, I think you’ll be fine.”

Coworker: “What are you guys talking about?”

Boss: “You know, Ides of March, from Julius Caesar?”

(Our coworker looks at my boss blankly for a moment, and then waves her hand dismissively.)

Coworker: “Oh, I don’t keep up on current events.”

Boss: *laughs* “Uh, this happened a long, LONG time ago.”

Coworker: “Oh, I thought he was a rapper or something!”

1 Thumbs
578

Someone’s About To Get Fired

| Working | August 20, 2012

(I work in a factory in IT support.)

Me: “Help Desk, how can I help you?”

Worker: “Yeah… uh, the printer isn’t working on [assembly line].”

Me: “Okay, does it have any error messages?”

Worker: “I think it’s on fire.”

Me: “It’s on… fire? Did you put the fire out?!”

Worker: “Well, no…”

Me: “PUT THE FIRE OUT!”

(At this point, I hang up the phone and run out to the printer, which at this point is completely engulfed in flames. I grab a fire extinguisher and put the fire out.)

Me: “Why didn’t you put the fire out?!”

Worker: “I didn’t think I was supposed to!”

1 Thumbs
1,330

Close Up Before You Melt Down

, | Working | August 19, 2012

(My boyfriend and I work at a fast food restaurant. If it’s been a busy night, we usually bring home dinner from a different fast food restaurant after we close. One really hot summer night, I run over to grab dinner while my boyfriend finishes closing the store. However, the competition is just as busy as we are. I walk in, and this happens.)

Manager: “COULD YOU ALL HURRY UP! YOU REALIZE IT’S 15 TO CLOSE, RIGHT? I HAVE TO SERVE YOU IN 90 SECONDS OR LESS, SO MAKE UP YOUR MIND! GET OUT OF THE WAY AND LET SOMEONE ELSE ORDER, OR GET THE H*** OUT!”

(A group of teenage customers standing by the counter all look at each other, and then see me. They kindly let me go since they can see I have a list and know what I want.)

Manager: “Hi, what do you want?”

Me: “Hi, I’m so sorry. I have a bit of a list.”

Manager: *sighs* “Well, hurry up, then.”

Me: “Um… can I just have three double cheeseburgers, one plain cheeseburger, and a large and medium fry?”

Manager: “Anything else you want to add to that HUGE list?”

Me: “No.”

(The manager swipes my card, and then looks over to some other customers who have been waiting for their order.)

Manager: “LOOK, YOU’RE GONNA HAVE TO WAIT! WE’RE BUSY!”

Customer: “It’s been like 15 minutes… for two scones.”

Manager: “Yeah, and WE. ARE. BUSY!”

(At this point, the teenage boys finally decide what they want, so she gets through them with more whining and yelling. Since I can relate, I try to talk to her to calm her down.)

Me: “We were this busy to right until close. Once you close though it gets better.”

Manager: “Yeah, good for you. I JUST HOPE EVERYONE REALIZES WE CLOSE IN 5 MINUTES, AND AT THAT POINT I’M THROWING EVERYONE OUT OF MY STORE! YOU HEAR ME!?” *takes a deep breath and smiles* “I’m sorry, sweetie. I’m just stressed.”

Me: “Er… it’s okay. It happens.”

Manager: “I just get stressed and lose my head.”

(With that, the manager laughs and then hands me my food. She then hands the scones to the two customers who have been waiting longer than me.)

Manager: *to the other customers* “I’m so sorry about the wait. It’s been very busy. You have a lovely night!” *smiles really big*

(However, as I’m walking out the door, she runs out back and turns off the lights.)

Manager: “EVERYONE OUT! NOW! CLOSING TIME! BYE BYE!”

1 Thumbs
685

From A Waffle To An Earful Of Awful

| Working | August 18, 2012

(We’re on vacation from Nebraska and have just paid $90 to take a tram to the top of a mountain where there’s a small waffle house. There’s a sink in the corner behind the counter, and two fully operational bathrooms down the back hall.)

Me: “I’d like one Nutella waffle, please.”

Worker: “Anything to drink?”

Mom: “Can we just get a glass for water? Like, tap water, or something?”

Worker: “Sorry, we don’t get water pumped up here. We’re too high up. It won’t pump. We do have bottles.”

Mom: “$3.75 for a bottle is too high for us. We’ll just take the waffle.”

Worker: “Well, it’s so high because of all the manpower it takes to bring it up here. They can’t just drive it up on a truck, you know. They have to bring it 10,000 feet up the mountain. What do you think that costs us? Where are you from? Probably not around here. Do you know how high the cost of living is in this area? We have to adjust the prices accordingly, you know. It takes a lot just to get all of those bottles up the mountain. There’s a 13 million dollar tram that you rode up here, how do you think we pay for maintenance?”

Mom: “Um, why don’t you help your other customers?”

Worker: “It’s not easy bringing it up the mountain, that’s all I’m saying!”

(After helping his next few customers he kept going on and on about how difficult it was to put the water bottles on the giant tram lift to get them up the mountain. He was so insistent about their struggle that he completely forgot about my waffle.)

1 Thumbs
660

Way Off On Days Off

| Working | August 17, 2012

(I have worked as a bather at a pet salon for almost four years now. Our new assistant manager has taken over scheduling and has completely changed the way we request days off. One week, I absolutely need a certain day off because I’m going to a funeral. Lo and behold, when I get my schedule, I have the funeral day on. So I go to the assistant manager.)

Me: “Hey Jen, can I ask you something?”

Assistant Manager: “Yeah, what’s up?”

Me: “Well, I really needed Friday off, but you put me on the schedule anyway.”

Assistant Manager: “Yeah, I can’t give you that day off. You didn’t give a valid reason.”

Me: “My uncle’s funeral isn’t a valid reason?”

Assistant Manager: “If it was like, your mom or something, I could give you, like, the whole week off. But, like, not for some random family member who you probably don’t even know.”

Me: “I can work any other day but Friday. I’m sorry, but I just can’t work that day.”

Assistant Manager: “Whatever. Don’t show up. I don’t care. I’d like to see your a** fired! Just like, leave!”

(I’m fed up with her attitude, so I go off to the owner’s office.)

Me: “Hey Dave?”

Owner: “Yeah?”

Me: “I was supposed to have Friday off for my uncle’s funeral, but Jen put me on the schedule anyway. She said it wasn’t a valid reason.”

Owner: *sighs* “You’re only the eight millionth person to complain about Jen’s scheduling. I’ll have a word with her, but go ahead and take Friday off. H***, if you need any more days off this week, go ahead and take ’em. I’ll make HER cover your shift.”

(I got my Friday off, and Jen was livid when she found out that she would have to take my shift. She screwed up the schedule a few more times after that. Needless to say, she’s not allowed to do scheduling anymore!)

 

1 Thumbs
1,104