Excuse Me, Bosshole

| Working | August 23, 2012

(I’ve just started a new job in construction. This is also my very first labor-intensive job, so there’s a lot of things that I don’t know. Naturally, I have many questions to ask.)

Me: “Excuse me, Sir-”

Boss: “Hold it right there, buddy. I will not have you calling me ‘Sir’. I don’t really believe in ranks, so I want you to talk to me like an equal. Just call me by my first name.”

(A couple of hours later, I have another question to ask. But this time, I try to respect his wishes and do my best to ease up on my language.)

Me: “‘Scuse me Boss, I—”

Boss: “GODD***IT, NOT AGAIN! I told you that I don’t do well with those titles! Call me ‘a**hole’, call me ‘f***er’, but whatever you do, don’t call me ‘sir’ or ‘boss’!”

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His Excuse Is A Non-Starter

| Working | August 23, 2012

(One particularly cold winter morning, I wake up to discover my car wouldn’t start. So, I bundle up nice and warm and make the half-hour walk to work. As I am settling in at my desk, I get a call from my coworker.)

Coworker: “Yeah, hey, could you cover for me? I’m not coming in to work today.”

Me: “Why?”

Coworker: “It’s so cold, man. My car won’t start.”

Me: “So? My car wouldn’t start either. I walked. You can too!”

Coworker: “But, dude, it’s so cold and so far!”

Me: “What are you talking about? I live on the other side of town. You live across the street!”

(Sure enough, I look out my window, and lock eyes with my coworker, who is looking at me through his kitchen window. He quickly closes the blinds.)

Coworker: “I SAID I’M NOT COMING IN TODAY BECAUSE MY CAR WON’T START!” *click*

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This Driver Can Go To Hail

| Working | August 23, 2012

(My boyfriend and I were going to take a cab home from a restaurant. My boyfriend holds the door of the cab open for me, so there are a few seconds where I am alone with the cab driver.)

Me: “Hello, we’ll be going to [hotel name], over on [street name].”

Cab Driver: “Sorry, I don’t take directions from women. Just wait until he gets in the car.”

Me: *dumbfounded*

(As soon as my boyfriend gets into the car…)

Cab Driver: “…And where will you be going today?”

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Call Of Duty: Misogynist Warfare

| Working | August 22, 2012

Me: “I’d just like to get this today.”

Employee: “Do you want to do any preorders? Call of Duty: Black Ops 2 is coming out this fall.”

Me: “Sorry, but no thanks. My husband is in the military, and we’re expecting to be moved overseas this summer, so we’re doing all of our fall preorders online.”

Employee: “Sure, cool.”

Manager: “Do you need to see the release dates for the chick games instead?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

(The manager produces a release date list with certain titles highlighted in pink).

Me: “Um, no thanks.”

Manager: “We see your type in all the time.”

Me: “Um, okay. No, I’ll stick with what I’ve got. I don’t actually have a 3DS.”

Employee: “That will be [amount]. Do you have a rewards card?”

(I’m not feeling very comfortable with this store, so I decide to take my business to another branch where I know the management is less judgmental.)

Me: “Yes. Can you move my Ghost Recon and Kingdoms of Amalur preorders to [next closest branch location]?”

Employee: “Yes…” *sighs* “I’ve been doing that a lot lately…”


This story is part of our Women’s Equality Day roundup!

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Have Smoke, Will Dabble

| Working | August 22, 2012

(I work as a door-to-door marketer. My coworker and I have split up, and after we’ve finished our respective sections of the neighborhood we regroup. He apparently finished before me, and is getting out of a car I do not recognize.)

Me: “Hey, what’s up?”

Coworker: *laughs* “I was walking by, and those kids invited me to smoke with them!”

Me: “…What?”

Coworker: “Yeah, they were just smoking a hookah and said, ‘Hey, wanna smoke with us?’ How could I resist?”

Me: “Um, well, do you know them?”

Coworker: “Well, no…”

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