(I am an administrative assistant and receptionist at a small office. I have sent an email to the owner of the company for him to approve. After about a half an hour, he walks through the lobby from his office.)
Owner: “Hey, did you just send me an email?”
Me: “Yes.”
Owner: “Was I supposed to look at it?”
Me: “Uh… yes.”
(He wandered off and I cracked up. I did eventually get an answer.)
(I work at a call centre in Northern Ireland. It’s almost my lunch break. If a coworker is buying something, they usually ask if a colleague needs something. I’m speaking to a customer 400 miles away in England, across the Irish Sea.)
Me: “I’m running a test, but it’s going to take a while. Is it okay if I call you back after my lunch break?”
Customer: “Yes, that’s fine.”
Me: “I’m going to [Supermarket]. Do you need anything?”
Customer: *deadpan* “No, I’m all right.”
Me: “Thank you, speak later. Bye!”
Customer: “Bye!”
(It’s about eight years ago and I am Celiac, which is almost unheard of. There are few foods that never have gluten, and many that may have it, so I never bother to ask when I eat in restaurants and just assume I can’t eat it. I have just finished a steak with a salad.)
Dad: “Are you sure you don’t want any dessert? The ice cream should be gluten-free, and also the meringue cake.”
Me: “It’s too cold for the ice cream, and the meringue may get contaminated in the kitchen. I’m fine.”
Dad: “Nonsense! I’ll just ask a waiter if the cake is gluten-free.” *calls a waiter* “Excuse me, do you know if the meringue contains any gluten?”
Waiter: *without missing a beat* “I don’t know, sir, but I can ask the kitchen if they can add it for you.”
Dad: *struggling to keep a straight face* “Uh, thanks.”
(The poor overworked waiter heard an ingredient that he didn’t know and offered to add it just for us! Now, every time I ask if something is gluten-free, my father offers to add it for me.)
This story is part of our Celiac Awareness Day roundup!
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(I’ve designed some adverts and flyers for my new boss. This is our email conversation:)
Boss: “[My Name], I haven’t had that new flyer design. Please send it over.”
Me: “I sent it over Tuesday. Can you check your junk mail?”
Boss: “Yes, it’s gone to junk mail. Send it again.”
Me: “You can just ‘accept’ it out of junk mail. Then your system will know it’s fine to accept e-mails from me.”
Boss: “No, you’re using the wrong email address. Use [his email address].”
Me: “Yes, I’m sending it to that address, and it’s going into your junk mail. You have to confirm that it’s safe, and then it’ll go into your normal inbox.”
Boss: “You’ve got that wrong. You have to use my correct e-mail address, [his email address again].”
Me: “Yes, that’s the address I’m using. I’ll send it again if you like.”
Boss: “Okay, but stop sending it to my junk mail!”
Me: *head desk*
(I have a coworker who’s obsessed with, among other things, Disney movies. I love Disney films myself, especially the songs. The coworker in question is talking about Disney songs with another worker, and I happen to come out of the back room in time to hear him quoting some song lyrics:)
Coworker: “Yes, I’ve hardly a complaint, but on the whole I’ve been a saint…”
Me: *burst out of the back with my best Ursula voice* “To those POOR UNFORTUNATE SOOOOOUUUUUUULS!”
Coworker: *laughs* “I love you.”
