(My wife and I are on the way back from our honeymoon. We are waiting in line for check-in, when we suddenly realise she still has her knitting needles in her hand luggage. We turn to a stewardess standing next to us.)

Us: “Excuse me, ma’am, but are we allowed to take knitting needles on the flight?”

Stewardess: *with a look of utter disbelief and almost offended* “Of course NOT!”

(We figured as much and asked just to be sure, so we are about to apologize, when she continues.)

Stewardess: “They are weapons of mass destruction and we cannot allow you to take such dangerous things on an airplane!”

(We burst into laughter and she joins us.)

Stewardess: “Sorry, girls. I know it’s stupid, but they would still probably take them away from you.”

(We were able to switch them into our luggage and board the plane without being mistaken for plane hijackers, but this lady really brightened our mood about stupid airport procedures. Best security check ever.)

(I’m working at a sports grill near a university campus. We get employees from all over the world who came to the city to study. I’m female, and so are the two other employees working with me this night. A new guy from Nepal starts working that evening, and our supervisor leaves me in charge.)

Me: “Hey, [New Guy], can you wipe down those tables?”

(He gives me an annoyed look, grabs a rag, and meanders over to the tables while I clear away dishes on the other side of the room. Ten minutes later, I happen to look up and see him still standing by the un-cleaned tables, just watching ESPN on our TVs. My hands are full, so I ask Female Coworker #1 to kindly remind him that the tables need cleaning. While I’m in the back, she comes up to me looking upset.)

Female Coworker #1: “So I told him to clean the tables, and he did one but then stopped again. And when I asked again, he just kind of… sneered at me.”

Me: “Great…”

(Together, we go back to the dining room to see Female Coworker #2 attempting to get New Guy to help her move one of the tables. He does so only begrudgingly, and then goes back to watching TV. There’s a lull in customers, so my coworkers and I pause to deliberate.)

Female Coworker #2: “Um… did we do something to offend this guy?”

Me: “I don’t know. He’s getting on my nerves, though.”

Female Coworker #1: “You should call [Supervisor] and let him know what’s going on.”

(I’m about to do so when Male Coworker comes in for his evening shift. He’s a super nice guy, and after greeting us girls he goes up to New Guy to introduce himself. To our surprise, New Guy smiles brightly, shakes his hand, and chats with him. Then, New Guy clearly says something about us girls, because both guys look over at us, New Guy with a condescending look, and Male Coworker with shock. Male Coworker excuses himself and comes over to us.)

Me: “What did he just say to you?”

Male Coworker: “Um… apparently, where he comes from, women don’t give orders. He thinks it’s… funny that you try to boss him around, and he said he won’t do a thing you ask.”

Me: “You’re kidding me.”

Female Coworker #2: “Well, he’s going to have a really hard time of it, then, because the majority of us who work here are girls.”

(Needless to say, it was a long night, with Male Coworker having to relay instructions to New Guy if we wanted anything to get done. Thankfully, New Guy quit a few days later. I guess the strain of being “bossed around” by women got to him.)

(My family and I are coming back from a retreat in the Sawtooths, and we stop at a tiny town for a break. There’s only one store, so I usher the little kids inside to grab drinks. The store is basically a glorified motor home, with a single cooler with beer and sodas, and a counter with Idaho souvenirs. The place smells like the owner has been chain smoking in there all day, which already makes the kids uncomfortable. The store owner, an old guy with a scraggly beard and tobacco-stained teeth, doesn’t say a word to us as we grab our overpriced drinks, and when I go up to the register he sighs as if we’re horribly inconveniencing him.)

Owner: “Will that be all?”

Me: “Is there a bathroom in here that we can use?”

Owner: *condescendingly* “Noooo. We just s*** out in the yard.”

(Once the kids did their business we got out of there as fast as we could.)

(I am getting my hair cut, and the conversation turns toward my school work. I am a musician.)

Me: “Since I want to get my doctorate, I will be in school for nine or ten years once it’s all done.”

Hairdresser: “Wow, I didn’t know musicians had to be smart!”

(There was no more conversation.)

(I’m 18 and I’ve been volunteering at a horse sanctuary for a number of months. A coworker in her early 20s seems to take an immediate dislike towards me, taking every opportunity to put me down or tell me what to do. I’m cleaning one of the stables while singing to ‘Country Roads’ on my iPod when she storms up to me. All the horses are in the field.)

Coworker: “[My Name], stop singing! You’re scaring the horses!”

Me: “Sorry?” *glances at the little, fat, grey pony sleeping next to me* “I don’t think I was that loud.”

Coworker: “Just do what I said!” *storms off*

(At this point I’m used to this so I just resume my work. Some time later one of the staff comes running towards the yard screaming that one of the horses has escaped. The sanctuary is right next to a main road notorious for people speeding. Everyone runs to the field where the horse has run into.)

Owner: “Everyone look for him!” *turns to me* That gate is broken. Stay there and stop him if he tries to get out!”

Me: “Sure.”

(20 minutes later, I can hear everyone yelling after the horse, and eventually I see him running towards me in a panic. I’ve been around horses for a number of years so I just let him run back and forth until he stops and let me hold his head.)

Me: *in a low and quiet tone* “You’re a good boy, [Horse]. It’s okay, son.”

(I suddenly hear the woman shout out of sight.)

Coworker: “STOP HIM! HE’S GOING TO GET OUT!”

(Suddenly the horse gets a fright and tries to barge past me to get out of the gate. Thinking quickly, I push him on his chest which makes him stop. This horse is two meters tall and weighs about 1200lbs. A second later a speeding car zooms past about a metre behind me. Everyone freezes and let’s out a shriek.)

Owner: *panting* “Oh! [My Name], good lass! I’m so glad you were there!”

Me: *shell-shocked* “Me, too! Come on, we need to get him back to his field!”

(I get a few ‘well done’s from a number of staff but nothing much else, which I am fine with since I don’t like attention. The whole time the coworker is giving me a weird look. Once the horse is back in his field, the owner lets me take my break early. I’m sitting on a hay bale drinking my cola.)

Coworker: *walking up to me, looking annoyed* “You know how you saved [Horse] from being run over?”

Me: “Yeah?” *jokingly* “And myself?” *looks more annoyed so I’m expecting something bad*

Coworker: “All I’m going to say is you didn’t do it right.”

(She rambles on about how I was “supposed” to save the horse from being run over, the whole time I am fighting the urge not to face-palm myself.)

Me: “[Coworker], I stopped him from running out—“

Coworker: “But all I’m saying is, you didn’t do it right!”

Me: “I made a snap decision—“

Coworker: “Horses make faster decisions than you can! Anyone could have done it!”

Me: *fed up* “Listen, this isn’t the first time I’ve saved a horse’s life.”

Coworker: “Don’t start bragging!”

Me: “A horse at my old farm had colic and I was the only person to notice. I called the vet and the owner. Everyone had gone home and I stayed an extra two hours walking him until the owners came! If I hadn’t, I don’t want to think of what would have happened! Maybe I didn’t do it correctly but I still did it!” *pauses* “How many horses’ lives have YOU saved?”

Coworker: “…”

Me: “Well?”

Coworker: “…” *glares at me* “Don’t get an ego over this! You’re not that great with horses!” *storms off*

(I still volunteer at that horse sanctuary and the incident isn’t much more than an amusing story to tell to people who work there. As for the coworker, the owner dismissed her because of her attitude as well as her demanding more money (keep in mind this is a non-profit organisation). And she claims I have an ego…)