(I am one of three employees in the office that I work in. We are a small, locally owned company and all of the employees are either family or friends of one of the two owners. I’m a young woman in my early twenties and I’ve been there for almost six years. I handle everything having to do with money, the Internet, or computers in general, except the basic stuff I taught the other employees. Without fail I get a call like this at least once a month. The phone rings.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Self Storage]. This is [My Name] speaking. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Uh… is one of the guys there?”

Me: “No, I’m the only one here today. Is there something I can help you with?”

Caller: “No that’s all right. When’s the next time one of them is in?”

Me: “[Coworker #1] will be in tomorrow morning.”

Caller: “Okay, thanks.”

Me: “Have a nice day.” *eye roll*

(After five years of this I get sick of it and finally stand up for myself. This has been my normal response for the past year:)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Self Storage]. This is [My Name] speaking. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Uh… is one of the guys there?”

Me: “No, I’m the only one here today. Is there something I can help you with?”

Caller: “No that’s all right. When’s the next time one of them is in?”

Me: “[Coworker #1] will be in tomorrow morning, but I assure you that I am more than capable of helping you. I’ve been working here for five years and know the system as well as anyone else.”

Caller: “Oh, okay, then can you look up my account and tell me my balance?” *gives information*

Me: “Your balance is [amount]. Is there anything else I can do for you today?”

Caller: “No, that’s all. Thank you!”

Me: “No problem. Have a nice day.” *eye roll*

(Apparently people assume I can’t complete tasks I learned on my first day here six years later.)

(I am going through the drive-thru to pick up a [New Fancy Burger] that has just been released.)

Employee: “Welcome to [Restaurant. Would you like to try a [New Fancy Burger] today?”

Me: “Yes, just the sandwich.”

Employee: “What can I get for you today?”

Me: “A [New Fancy Burger], just the sandwich.”

Employee: “Yes, we have [New Fancy Burger].”

Me: “Good, I’ll take one.”

Employee: “What can I get for you today?”

Me: “[New Fancy Burger].”

Employee: “Wait, you want a [New Fancy Burger]?”

Me: *face-palming* “Yes, PLEASE!”

Employee: “Oh, okay. That’s one [Not New Fancy Burger] and did you want to try a [New Fancy Burger] today?”

Me: “Never mind.”

(The staff toilet is so damp the plaster has rotted off the walls and there’s black mould all over the ceiling. The boss has been promising to fix it for over six months.)

Supervisor: *coming out of the toilet* “Argh, I hate that toilet. It’s disgusting.”

Me: *trolling* “Yeah? Well, I hate it so much that I pissed in it!”

Supervisor: *furious* “You did WHAT?! I can’t believe you… Oh, wait…”

(We recently hired a new girl at the restaurant where I work. She has a “know-it-all” attitude and despite it being her first job, she deplores the practices at the restaurant and how we are “unprofessional.” She’s also a hardcore feminist, which we don’t have a problem with, but she insists on putting up posters of awareness around the place. This happened a few Saturdays ago. Note: we hand write the orders and have a column where the prices are placed.)

Me: “[New Girl], try not to write the orders in this column.” *points to show her*

New Girl: “I’m left handed. It’s not my fault!”

Me: *after a short pause* “Well, it kind of is, but it’s okay. Just start from the very far left next time.”

New Girl: “That’s like saying it’s your fault that you’re gay and you can’t get married.” *walks off*

(Needless to say, she quit the same evening due to my “homophobia.”)

(After a rough night and only a few hours sleep I decide to pick up a snack from a fast food chain at lunch, and order a box of fries and chicken bits. I then discover they’ve implemented this new system where you are handed a number, when it’s called you show your receipt and get your food. For this relatively small restaurant this is surprising as it’s only really efficient in big busy chains. I am handed my number and step to the side. A few moments later a box is dropped in from the kitchen, which I assume is mine, but before I can move a second server picks it up and sets it in front of someone who has just walked into the restaurant and up to the counter, offering him condiments and putting in a sachet of barbecue sauce.)

Server #1: *calling over* “That’s not his!”

(Again I assume it is mine, as it’s not busy and it’s a simple order, so I go to step forward until.)

Server #2: “Taih-un taitair? Taihun taitair?”

(I stand there bewildered for a few seconds as she repeats the phrase, until I realise she’s calling the number on my receipt ‘3133’ – finally I walk up and receive my order.)

Server #2: *in perfect English* “Sorry, he stepped forward so I assumed it was his.”

(I walked out a bit dazed by the experience.)