(We have a new hire this season. While he’s a nice guy, he lacks common sense and basically has to be retrained on everything every day. He’s also known to be less than truthful to coworkers and clients. On this particular day, we’re performing spring maintenance on one of our systems.)

New Hire: “So I checked everything in the back and everything works.”

Me: “The lights over the BBQ were all good too?”

New Hire: “Yeah I saw them all on.”

(At this point, the client has asked me to take a look at a receptacle that is near the BBQ, but completely unrelated to our system.)

Me: *sticking voltmeter into outlet* “It doesn’t have power, but it could be on the same breaker as your pool equipment. I’d say once that’s up and running for the season, check it again. If it still isn’t working we can take a deeper look.”

New Hire: *has zero idea what I’m talking about* “Oh, there’s no power there? That would be why those lights didn’t come on.”

Me: “You said you checked everything and it all worked…”

New Hire: “Well, yeah, but these ones aren’t working now because you said there isn’t power in that outlet.”

Me: “That outlet has nothing to do with our system. Did the lights work or not?”

New Hire: “Well, since you said that wasn’t working I wanted to make it sound like the lights weren’t either because there was no power.”

Me: “You still didn’t answer me. Were the lights on or not? You either lied to me or the client and neither one is acceptable.”

New Hire: “Dude why are we even talking about this?”

(He couldn’t understand why I was upset about him being dishonest. I checked the lights myself, something I planned to do regardless. Lo and behold, they worked just fine.)

(We recently hired a new girl at the restaurant where I work. She has a “know-it-all” attitude and despite it being her first job, she deplores the practices at the restaurant and how we are “unprofessional.” She’s also a hardcore feminist, which we don’t have a problem with, but she insists on putting up posters of awareness around the place. This happened a few Saturdays ago. Note: we hand write the orders and have a column where the prices are placed.)

Me: “[New Girl], try not to write the orders in this column.” *points to show her*

New Girl: “I’m left handed. It’s not my fault!”

Me: *after a short pause* “Well, it kind of is, but it’s okay. Just start from the very far left next time.”

New Girl: “That’s like saying it’s your fault that you’re gay and you can’t get married.” *walks off*

(Needless to say, she quit the same evening due to my “homophobia.”)

(After a rough night and only a few hours sleep I decide to pick up a snack from a fast food chain at lunch, and order a box of fries and chicken bits. I then discover they’ve implemented this new system where you are handed a number, when it’s called you show your receipt and get your food. For this relatively small restaurant this is surprising as it’s only really efficient in big busy chains. I am handed my number and step to the side. A few moments later a box is dropped in from the kitchen, which I assume is mine, but before I can move a second server picks it up and sets it in front of someone who has just walked into the restaurant and up to the counter, offering him condiments and putting in a sachet of barbecue sauce.)

Server #1: *calling over* “That’s not his!”

(Again I assume it is mine, as it’s not busy and it’s a simple order, so I go to step forward until.)

Server #2: “Taih-un taitair? Taihun taitair?”

(I stand there bewildered for a few seconds as she repeats the phrase, until I realise she’s calling the number on my receipt ‘3133’ – finally I walk up and receive my order.)

Server #2: *in perfect English* “Sorry, he stepped forward so I assumed it was his.”

(I walked out a bit dazed by the experience.)

(I am one of three employees in the office that I work in. We are a small, locally owned company and all of the employees are either family or friends of one of the two owners. I’m a young woman in my early twenties and I’ve been there for almost six years. I handle everything having to do with money, the Internet, or computers in general, except the basic stuff I taught the other employees. Without fail I get a call like this at least once a month. The phone rings.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Self Storage]. This is [My Name] speaking. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Uh… is one of the guys there?”

Me: “No, I’m the only one here today. Is there something I can help you with?”

Caller: “No that’s all right. When’s the next time one of them is in?”

Me: “[Coworker #1] will be in tomorrow morning.”

Caller: “Okay, thanks.”

Me: “Have a nice day.” *eye roll*

(After five years of this I get sick of it and finally stand up for myself. This has been my normal response for the past year:)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Self Storage]. This is [My Name] speaking. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Uh… is one of the guys there?”

Me: “No, I’m the only one here today. Is there something I can help you with?”

Caller: “No that’s all right. When’s the next time one of them is in?”

Me: “[Coworker #1] will be in tomorrow morning, but I assure you that I am more than capable of helping you. I’ve been working here for five years and know the system as well as anyone else.”

Caller: “Oh, okay, then can you look up my account and tell me my balance?” *gives information*

Me: “Your balance is [amount]. Is there anything else I can do for you today?”

Caller: “No, that’s all. Thank you!”

Me: “No problem. Have a nice day.” *eye roll*

(Apparently people assume I can’t complete tasks I learned on my first day here six years later.)

(I am going through the drive-thru to pick up a [New Fancy Burger] that has just been released.)

Employee: “Welcome to [Restaurant. Would you like to try a [New Fancy Burger] today?”

Me: “Yes, just the sandwich.”

Employee: “What can I get for you today?”

Me: “A [New Fancy Burger], just the sandwich.”

Employee: “Yes, we have [New Fancy Burger].”

Me: “Good, I’ll take one.”

Employee: “What can I get for you today?”

Me: “[New Fancy Burger].”

Employee: “Wait, you want a [New Fancy Burger]?”

Me: *face-palming* “Yes, PLEASE!”

Employee: “Oh, okay. That’s one [Not New Fancy Burger] and did you want to try a [New Fancy Burger] today?”

Me: “Never mind.”