(I’m walking through a small-ish mall to get to my bus, as I’m going to work. A mall vendor tries to stop me.)

Vendor: *begins his spiel*

Me: “Sorry, I’ve got to catch the bus to work!”

Vendor: “Work can wait!”

(All I could think of was if he was willing to tell my boss, our team of 7, and the client that his pre-ordered move was going to be late because he wanted to sell me a new Internet plan… or if he was willing to pay me the financial damages of losing my job, which could very well have happened.)

(Working at the vet’s office one morning, one of my coworkers has been in a grumpy mood. I’ve already told people about my kitten trying to wake me up way too early this morning.)

Supervisor: “What’s up with you today, [Coworker]?”

Coworker: “I dunno. I just woke up this morning with a frown on my face.”

Supervisor: *half-joking* “You should try to wake up with a smile on your face!”

Me: “I woke up with a cat on my face!”

(I’m in a care agency office to apply for a job, and start up ‘Pokémon Go’ while I’m waiting. The sound is on when I first turn it on, before I quickly reduce the volume, embarrassed. I see the admin’s eyes slide over to me then back to the screen. Eventually, I’m called over by him.)

Admin: “Name?”

Me: “[My Name].”

Admin: “Address?”

Me: “[My address].”

(We go through various questions to fill out the form, my date of birth, gender, ethnicity, etc, until this:)

Admin: “Now, are you part of Team Valor or one of the other two inferior teams?”

(Team Valor is the red team on ‘Pokémon Go.’ I’m part of the blue team.)

Me: “Uh… Team Mystic.”

(The admin tuts.)

Admin: “And what level are you?

Me: “13…”

Admin: “Well, you’ll be walking around a lot in this job, so you’ll have plenty of time to get good.”

(At this point a manager sticks his head out of his office.)

Manager: “[Admin]! Stop hassling people about Pokémon Go!”

Admin: “But they’re on your stupid team! And they’re low level! They’ll never be the very best…”

Manager: “[Admin]…”

Admin: *slightly quieter* “Like no one ever was…”

(I think I’ll like working there!)

(I do all of my shopping at this store. While I’ve never worked here or even at a grocery in general, I know pretty much where everything is. Tonight, I’m in the Asian food section, with a worker next to me looking bewildered at a packet of instant rice noodles.)

Me: “Having trouble?”

Worker #1: “Oh! Eh, heh… yeah. I’m stocking, but I don’t know where this goes…”

(To be fair, the brand has most of its items in this aisle.)

Me: “Oh, well, I’m pretty sure those are actually in the gluten-free section, near the bread. It’s a little weird since they’re an Asian food, but they are gluten-free, too.”

Worker #1: “Really? You think?”

(Another worker walks by.)

Worker #1: “Hey, [Worker #2]! Where does this go?”

Worker #2: “It should go right there!”

(She comes over to look and is immediately confused by the absence of this product in this aisle.)

Worker #2: “Huh… but there’s a ton of stuff from this brand here.”

Me: “As I said, I’m pretty sure it’s in with the gluten-free stuff. But good luck!”

(I move on in my shopping, but on my way out of the store, [Worker] #1 spots me again.)

Worker #1: “Hey! It was in the gluten-free stuff! You were RIGHT!”

This story is part of our Celiac Awareness Day roundup!

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(I’m a cashier, but after closing everyone present is expected to help out in the fitting rooms and on the floor once their personal duties are done. Having heard that the men’s dressing rooms need help I head over there. What I had heard was an understatement: every single room is in a state of disarray, and the re-shelving area is even worse.)

Me: “Is this why men don’t like going clothes shopping?”

Every Man In The Room: “Yes.”