(I work at a grocery store, and I’ve only been there for about two months now. I’m still considered new, since the other women and men that work there have been working there for at least two years. It is probably important to note that I’ve had a long day at school, it’s about eight pm, I’ve been working since I got home from school and walked to work, and I’m exhausted. Customer #1 walks up to my till, and says hello.)

Customer #1: “Hello! Are you new?”

Me: “Little bit, ma’am. I’ve been here for about two months!”

Customer #1: “Well, this must be the first time I’ve seen you, then. I usually can remember a face!”

Me: *laughs, and begins to ring through Customer #1, bagging items as quickly as possible*

(I finish ringing her items through as Customer #2 arrives at my till.)

Me: “All right, what will it be today? Cash? Debit? Credit?”

Customer #1: “Oh! Debit!”

Me: “All right… Have a good day!” *pauses, confused* “I mean, go ahead! Did I just—”

(Customer #1 and Customer #2 laugh.)

Customer #1: “You must really be tired!” *finishes paying*

Me: “Yes, ma’am, long day! Would you like your receipt?”

Customer #1: *chuckles* “Yes, please!”

Me: “All right, here you are. Have a good day!”

Customer #1: “Yes, hello!”

(Pause, before Customer #2 laughs.)

Customer #2: “Guess we’re all exhausted, aren’t we?”

(I am stopping by a local burger place known for their king-like mascot. After placing my order in the drive-thru I pull up to pay. This is where all the fun begins…)

Cashier: “The total is [something less than 10 dollars].”

Me: “Here you go.” *hands over a ten dollar bill*

(Without looking, the cashier opened her till, took out a few bills and handed them back to me. When I look in my hand I see the ten I had just given her along with a twenty dollar bill.)

Me: “Um, ma’am? You gave me thirty dollars back in change.”

(Cashier just has a blank expression.)

Me: “I… gave you a ten. You gave me back way too much money. Your till is going to be short. My change should be [somewhere around two dollars].”

Cashier: “One second, sir.”

(She disappears for a minute, and then comes back with a gruff looking manager.)

Manager: “Is there a problem with your change, sir?”

Me: “Yes. Your cashier gave me back too much money. I paid with a ten, and she handed me thirty dollars back. She’s going to be short, and I just wanted to make sure her till wasn’t going to be off.”

Manager: “Sir, I watched her give you correct change. I don’t know what kind of scam you’re running, but it isn’t happening here. Here’s your order. Now get out of our drive-thru.”

(And that is how you get paid to eat at a burger place. I wish I could have seen the looks on their faces when her till was short at least thirty dollars.)

(I work at a bank opening new accounts. I sit down with a customer in my office, noticing he has barely filled out any of his application.)

Customer: “I hope you can read my handwriting; my Parkinson’s is acting up today.”

Me: “Oh, well, here, let me get that for you.” *fills out rest of application*

(I continue opening the account. The customer is a sweet old man and we are chatting while I work. Once I finish opening accounts, I always go over the deposit slips with the member, since they are a little confusing at first glance.)

Me: “All right, you just fill out the information here, here, here, and here! I’ll be right back with your card!”

(I run to the back. When I come back, I notice the member has only managed to fill out two lines on the slip, and looks very uncomfortable. I suddenly remember that he has Parkinson’s.)

Me: “Oh, my gosh! Sir, I am so sorry! Let me fill that out for you! I completely forgot!”

(I take his slip up to the teller for him, as well as filling out a few extras so he could have them ready next time he came in. He was very sweet about it, but I still feel bad for making the poor guy struggle so much with that slip.)

(I own a small business and have advertised for a new receptionist because my former one had moved out of state. I’m wearing my coveralls over my suit because I have just been to a super store to buy supplies in bulk for my business. I come out of my office with a dolly and roll it past two women waiting to be interviewed. I go to my truck and unload the supplies and then roll them up to the front door. The elder of the two women is standing by the door holding it open so I can roll my supplies in.)

Older Woman: “Do you need to be checked-in? I saw a hand-held scanner on the desk and can check you in if you need me to.”

Me: “You know how to use a hand-held?”

Older Woman: “Yes, I used to check-in vendors at my last job all the time.”

(She goes to the reception desk and picks up the hand held scanner and asks what the name on the invoice is as well as the invoice number and the amount on the invoice. Then she expertly scans each item as I call out the amount per item etc. This goes on for a few moments and then the phone rings.)

Older Woman: *to younger woman* “Would you get that, please, so I can finish checking in this vendor?”

Younger Woman: “No, why should I? I don’t work here.”

(The older woman politely excuses herself and goes to the desk and answers the phone, telling the person on the other end that Mr. My Name isn’t in and could she take a message? She takes the message, including the caller’s name and phone number, leaves it on the desk, and then comes back to me to finish checking me in.)

Me: *to the two women* “I’m going to take these supplies back to the supply closet and see if Mr. [My Name] is back yet. Sometimes he comes in by the back way.”

(I go to my office, take off my coveralls to reveal my suit, and peek my head around the door. I point to the older of the two women and tell her the boss will see her.)

Me: *to the older woman* “As far as I’m concerned, you’re hired.”

(We chat a little bit and I tell her how impressed I am by her professionalism.)

Older Woman: “Thank you, sir. I love irony. Out there while we were waiting, [Younger Woman] told me you’d take one look at her and hire her on the spot based on her looks alone.”

Me: “Please send her in now. I want to make sure she understands why I won’t hire someone as unhelpful as she is.”

(I hired the older woman and am happy to announce that she was the best receptionist I ever had. She worked for me for 14 years until she retired.)

(I stop by a popular made-to-order sandwich shop one evening after classes. Given this store’s proximity to campus, it receives a lot of business and they’re usually out of most types of bread. Because of this, I know to ask before ordering what they have available.)

Worker: “Hi, what can I get for you?”

Me: “First, could you tell me what types of bread you still have?”

(She sighs and looks at her coworker.)

Worker: “Why does everyone keep asking us that!?”

(Considering, on this occasion, I could count the number of loaves they still had on one hand, it seemed everyone knew it was a valid question.)