Circular Lock-gic

| Working | March 7, 2013

(After moving into a new apartment, I notice the mailbox is broken and notify management immediately. After four days, nothing has been done, so I contact them again.)

Leasing: “Hi, this is [name] of [apartment]. How can I help you?”

Me: “Hi [name], it’s [name] from [unit]. I put a work order in the other day for my mailbox; it’s broken? I wanted to check on that.”

Leasing: “Yes, well, we don’t have another key for that, so…”

Me: “Yes, I know. I really do think the lock is broken. [Name of another person who works there] told me someone would be out on Monday to replace the lock and it still looks the same. I can’t get in.”

Leasing: “Well, there’s no other key, and [maintenance guy] is out clearing snow. There’s a lot of snow. He’s got a lot to clear. ”

Me: “I understand that. I just would like it fixed soon. I’ve got bills coming in.”

Leasing: “Well, that’s fine. [Maintenance guy] can fix it. He can replace the lock.”

Me: “That’s great. Can I get an ETA on that? I understand that the snow clearing comes first.”

Leasing: “He should be able to do it today.”

Me: “Excellent. Well, I—”

Leasing: “Oh, by the way, the mailman said your mailbox is packed.”

Me: “Yes, I know, I—”

Leasing: “You really should fix that. Bye.” *click*

1 Thumbs

Liars Have No Liability

, | Working | March 6, 2013

Employee #1: “[Store], this is [Employee #1]. Can I help you?”

Me: “Yes, I’m looking for [Shirt]. Do you have it in stock?”

Employee #1: “Yes, we sure do have it!”

Me: “Great. I’ll be down there in a little while to come get it. Thanks.”

(Later, I drive to the store and search the men’s shirts section for the shirt I want, but I don’t see it. I look for another associate to ask for help.)

Me: “Excuse me?”

Employee #2: “Yes?”

Me: “Yeah, I called here earlier looking for [Shirt]. [Employee #1] told me you had it, but I don’t see it over there.”

Employee #2: “Oh. He probably lied to you.”

([Employee #2] turns around without another word and starts walking away.)

Me: “Wait a minute! I just drove all the way down here to get that shirt and all you can do is say he lied to me?”

Employee #2: “Hey, it’s not my fault if you believed his lie!”

(She keeps walking away.)

Me: “Motherf***er!”

1 Thumbs

Se Habla Eh-spañol

| Working | March 6, 2013

(I’m waiting in line at a coffee shop. It’s located about two hours from the Canadian border. In front of me is a man with a large group of people. Note: this takes place in mid-May, while Canada Day is July 1.)

Cashier:  “Hi, can I help you?”

Man: “Um, hold on a second…”

(The man turns to the group of people with him and begins talking to them in what is clearly Spanish. From their accents, I figure out they’re from Spain. The Spanish-speaking people tell the man what they want and then he translates it into English for the cashier.  As you can imagine, this takes a while. Once I make it to the front of the line…)

Cashier: “Sorry for the wait.”

Me: “No problem, I’m sure that was difficult. I’ve never seen such a large group of foreigners around here before.”

Cashier: “Yeah, that was weird…”  *pauses to think* “Must be because it’s Canada Day!”

1 Thumbs

Not The Most Chair-itable Way To Say Things

| Working | March 6, 2013

(It’s the beginning of the year, and the Project Manager who sits next to me asks me a question.)

Project Manager: “How many hours holiday do we get every year?”

Me: “200.”

Project Manager: “As much as that? I thought it was something like 185.”

Me: “It might be for new starters, and you started last year. I’ve been here for several years, so I’ve probably got a legacy rate.”

Project Manager: “Ah yes, you’re part of the furniture. Er… we’re getting new furniture.”

Me: *feigning outrage* “Oh, thank you very much!”

Project Manager: *turns red* “Oh my! No, no, no! I mean we really ARE getting new furniture!”

(My coworker, who sits nearby had overheard the exchange and bursts out laughing.)

Coworker: “You should remember this for your tribunal!”

1 Thumbs

Its Curtains On This Scam, Part 3

| Working | March 6, 2013

(Note: there are a series of telephone scams going around at the moment, particularly involving PPI (payment protection insurance) from loans. I have one student loan, which has no PPI, and have never had anything else.)

Caller: “Hi, I’m calling about the loan you took out a while ago.”

Me: “Really? Which loan would that be?”

Caller: “Erm, the… uh… loan from [bank I’ve never used].”

Me: “Really? That’s interesting. Since you haven’t even asked my name, there is no way you can know if I do or do not have a loan. You’ve asked no security questions, so I’m not going to be stupid enough to give you any of my details, and I have never used that bank at all, so you definitely have no reason to call me. Do you understand that scams like this are illegal?”

Caller: “Er… sorry.” *click*


1 Thumbs