Bad boss and coworker stories

Their Point Is Redundant, Part 2

| Working | January 4, 2014

(I’m standing outside having a smoke. A coworker of several years walks up and lights up.)

Coworker: “Hey. How you doing?”

Me: “Yeah. Been better.”

Coworker: “Oh, it’s not that bad. You’ve been such a misery lately.”

Me: “Well, I—”

Coworker: “Cheer up, man. It’s not that bad!”

Me: “You’re probably right.”

(I finish my smoke and walk away. Instead of heading into the building I walk past the doors and to the exit.)

Coworker: “Hey! Where are you going?”

Me: “I’m being made redundant.”

Coworker: “Since when?”

Me: “Oh, about 15 minutes ago. Catch you around…”


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Don’t Pay Them A Fixed Rate

| Working | January 3, 2014

(The software our hotel systems use has an IT help line. One night I notice the guest receipts not printing correctly, and call.)

Helpdesk: “Hello. What’s your problem?”

Me: “The receipts have suddenly stopped printing correctly. The numbers are everywhere.”

Helpdesk: “Okay. Let’s see… hmm… Let’s try this… Nope… um… Okay. This is a problem I cannot fix!”

Me: “You… can’t fix?”

Helpdesk: “Nope! This issue will be marked as ‘unfixable.’ A survey will be sent to your location on how we did to help. Anything else I CAN help you with?”

(I am stunned. They did send a survey. We marked them all as poor. That was more than a year ago and to this day, the receipts still print incorrectly.)

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They Must Have Slipped Through The Net

| Working | January 3, 2014

(Our broadband, TV, and home phone have all been out since Friday. We were told on the Friday that they would be back on by 6 pm the same day. They weren’t. We called the company and were told our services would be back on in 24-48 hours. They weren’t. We called again, and were told they would be back on by 4 pm on Monday. They weren’t. Needless to say, by this point we we’re already annoyed. We called again. Having been cut off and redialing, being transferred from one person to another, the following occurs:)

Call Centre Worker: “Hello. My name is [Name]. How can I help you?”

Me: “Hi. We’ve been without any of our services for four days now. We’ve now been given three different times that they’ll be back on and none of them have been correct.”

Call Centre Worker: “Well, I’m looking at my screen now and I cannot see any faults with your connection.”

Me: “With all due respect, we’ve been calling for four days about this problem. I can’t see your screen. What I can see is that, regardless of what your screen says, none of my services are working.”

Call Centre Worker: “I’m sorry, sir. I understand you are having a problem with your broadband, is that correct?”

Me: “Yes, and my TV, and my home phone. None of them are working!”

Call Centre Worker: “Well, if it is a problem with your TV and not your broadband I will need to put you through to a TV technician. I work in Broadband.”

Me: “No. None of our services are working! Our broadband isn’t working either! There’s no number on your automated menu for no services working!”

Call Centre Worker: “I see. So the problem is with your broadband. I see no works in your area at this time.”

Me: “We had a card through the door on Friday telling us there were works in our area that day and that services would be back on by 6. They weren’t. We called and were told 24-48 hours. Still nothing. We called and were told 4 pm today. Still nothing. We just want our services back!”

(This goes on, just going back and forth for at least ten minutes before…)

Call Centre Worker: “Right. What we will need to do is send out a technician.”

Me: “Okay. So how long will that take?”

Call Centre Worker: “Oh, it will be 24-48 hours.”

Me: “We were told 24-48 hours to resolve the problem on Friday. Try tonight or first thing tomorrow!”

Call Centre Worker: “We cannot do that; we have no slots available. I assure you, a technician will be out to resolve the problem in 24-48 hours. The next slot for a technician is on Thursday, but we’ll move you higher up if there are any cancellations.”

Me: “Frankly, we should be higher up now given that not only have we already been waiting four days and been told three times, but it was yourselves who caused the problem in the first place when you carried out work in our area on Friday and left us without any services. But anyway, do you mean Thursday in three days time?”

Call Centre Worker: “Yes, that’s correct.”

Me: “Which is more than 48 hours? You know what? Fine! I just want it sorting, but we do have work. Will you at least call us to tell us when the technician will arrive?”

Call Centre Worker: “Yes, of course. We will call you on [home phone number].”

Me: “You mean you’re going to call us on the phone number we have been telling you for four days hasn’t been working for the last four days!”

Call Centre Worker: “Oh, you mean your phone also is not working? Erm… may I have a mobile phone number?”

Me: “Our home phone isn’t working. As we’ve been telling you for four days now, none of our services are working. We have no TV. We have no home phone. We have no broadband. None. Nothing. Nada. My mobile number is [number].”

Call Centre Worker: “Thank you. A technician will be with you Thursday.”

(As it happens, the technician arrived on Tuesday afternoon but we didn’t receive a call to tell us. The technician also had no idea that all three of our services were out and thought that it was just an issue with our broadband!)

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Death Of A Telesalesman

| Working | January 3, 2014

(We’ve been being bothered by a telemarketing firm soliciting contributions for a shady-seeming charity. Their gimmick is to ask “Is ‘[Name]’ there?” and use that as a hook to segue into their script. We’d gone from saying “No, thank you.” to “NO!” to just hanging up, but they still call. I have tried saying ‘Which one? There are two [Name]s here right now.’ and the caller was able to leverage that into his spiel! I do have to give him credit for thinking that fast, though! I finally decided to try something else.)

Telemarketer: “Hi. Is [Name] there?”

Me: “I guess you didn’t hear. She finally passed away last night and is free of the pain. Were you a friend of hers?”

Telemarketer: “Er, no. Sorry to have bothered you.”

(He hung up and we haven’t been called since!)

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A Long But Prosperous Day

| Working | January 3, 2014

(I have been summoned for jury duty and am going through the courthouse security checkpoint. As requested, I empty my pockets of all metallic objects, including my keys, before passing through the walk-through metal detector. When the guard sees my keychain he does a double-take with a quizzical look on his face.)

Me: “Oh, that strange-looking item is my keychain. It’s just a small electronic toy that resembles one of those communicators from the original Star Trek series. I’m not sure if you’ve ever watched it, but I assure you, this keychain is definitely not harmful.”

(Anxious to prove that the keychain wasn’t, in fact, a concealed weapon of some sort, I demonstrated to the guard that it just flipped open and made chirping noises that sounded just like the communicators from the show. As the guard observed this, his expression became overly serious, which worried me.)

Guard: “Here. I need to examine it more closely.”

(He motions for me to hand it over to him. After I comply, he flips it open and holds it up as though he is about to speak through it.)

Guard: “This is Captain James T. Kirk. Beam me up, Scotty!”

(I had worried for nothing! Furthermore, this put a big grin on my face and brightened up what was otherwise a long, dreary day in the jury room.)

This story is part of our ‘Star Trek’ roundup!

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