Bad boss and coworker stories

Beating A Dead Corpse With This One

| Working | February 15, 2014

(We are on break at work when my coworker gets one of those dreaded ‘tech support’ scam calls. My coworker has a really weird sense of humor. We are walking back from a nearby grocery store when this happens.)

Coworker: *looking at her phone, then to me* “Oh look. It’s a telemarketer.” *answers it* “House of Corpses. How can I help you today?”

Telemarketer: “I, uh… have the wrong number.” *hangs up*

Coworker: “Awww… He didn’t want to play with me.” *mock pouts* “Wuss.”

Me: “‘House of Corpses’? Where do you come up with this stuff?”

Coworker: “My goal is to see how fast I can get them to hang up. But there are rules: no screaming bloody murder and I have to be at least marginally polite, unless it takes more than a minute, then they’re just… well.” *laughs* “We’ll see if he calls back…”

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Not The Most Gifted Cashier, Part 2

| Working | February 15, 2014

(My mom and I are at chain grocery store shopping for gift cards for my teachers. Some gift cards require the tag on the back to be ripped off to expose the barcode.)

Cashier: *ripping off the tag aggressively*

Mom: “Can you try to rip it off carefully?”

Cashier: *mad* “Look, if you want it to be neat, rip it off yourself okay?”

Mom: “I was just trying to make sure you knew because this is a gift.”

Cashier: “No need to be so MAD about it!”


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The Lights Are On But Nobody’s Home

| Working | February 14, 2014

(My wife has somewhat of a notoriously free-associating mind, and it’s always entertaining to be around her. We are at home, and the phone rings.)

Wife: “Hello?”

Salesperson: “Hello and happy Christmas! Can I speak to [Wife] please?”

Wife: “I’m sorry. I’m not in today.”

Salesperson: *silent for the longest time, trying to process this gem*

Wife: “Thank you.”

Salesperson: *click*

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Cannot Produce The Pretzels

| Working | February 14, 2014

(My father has sent me to a small neighborhood grocery to buy a package of pretzels. After searching through the snack section in vain, I approach the owner.)

Me: “Where are the pretzels?”

Owner: “Did you look in produce?”

Me: “Why would pretzels be in produce?”

Owner: “What are pretzels, anyway?”

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He’ll Have You In Stitches

| Working | February 14, 2014

(My mom takes me to the doctor’s to get some stitches removed. It’s not unusual for our family doctor to have students, and he usually sends them in first to get the preliminary work done.)

Student Doctor: *looking at chart* “Okay, so you’re in for… ROS?” *looks at my mom in confusion* “What does ROS stand for?”

Mom: “Could it possibly stand for ‘removal of stitches’?”

Student Doctor: *looks at chart again* “Why, yes, I suppose it could. Why would you suggest that?”

Mom: “Maybe because we’re here to get her stitches removed?”

Student Doctor: “… Oh.”

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