Problem Exists Between Chair and Knuckleheads

| Working | April 22, 2013

(My company has recently brought on a large number of outside consultants. They need company laptops to get onto our internal network. I’m talking to one of these consultants.)

Me: “I know you have three more people arriving later today, and we want to have their computers ready for them. If you can plug all three of those new laptops in, connect them to the network, and power them on, our computer team can get them set up remotely.”

Consultant #1: “Sure, no problem!”

(Time passes…)

Me: “Hey, guys, the computer guy says he can only see one of those laptops. Can you please make sure they’re plugged into both power and Internet, and turned on?”

Consultant #2: “Sure, we’ll do that.”

(More time passes…)

Me: “Hi, guys, can you please make sure those laptops are plugged in and turned on? Because the computer guy still isn’t seeing one of them.”

Consultant #3: “Yes, we’ll get right on that.”

(Late that afternoon…)

Computer Guy: “Hi, are you [my name]? I’m [computer guy] from tech support. I was in the area and decided to drop by and see what’s up with that one computer. I still can’t see it on the network.”

Me: “Huh, that’s funny. I asked them three times to please have it plugged in and powered on…”

(We go down the hall to the consultants’ room.)

Computer Guy: “Hi, I’m here from tech support to see about your laptop which needs to be set up?”

Consultant #4: “Oh, right. It’s one of those six over there in the corner.”

(The consultant waves his hand at a jumbled pile of laptop bags.)

Computer Guy: “…and that would be why I couldn’t see it on the network.”

(I consider it a small personal victory that I stepped out of the room before beating my head against the wall.)

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Flailing Upwards

| Working | April 22, 2013

(I arrive for my shift, which starts very late at night. My coworker is a notorious party guy and seems high and jittery.)

Me: “Hi, [coworker]. Are you okay?”

Coworker: “Fine! I’m fine! How are you!” *moves rapidly*

Me: “Okay…”

(I go to the back office, where I find a full dozen of empty beer bottles lying around. They’ve obviously just have been drunk, the smell is strong. My coworker comes in the room, swaying.)

Coworker: “What’s upppppp!”

Me: “Did you… did you just drink all these beer?”

Coworker: *laughs hysterically* “Nooooo! Maybe. A little.” *laughs hysterically and dances*

(I report his drinking on the job to my manager, who suspended him. I had to quit later because I moved, but I later learned he had been promoted to manager!)

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Me, Mime-self, And I, Part 2

| Working | April 22, 2013

Me: “Good afternoon, and thank you for calling [company]. My name is [name]. How can I help you?”

Other Agent: “Hello, and thank you for calling [other company]. My name is [name]. How can I help you? ”

Me: “Um… is anyone else on the line?”

Both Of Us: *silence*

Me: “Did you call outbound?”

Other Agent: “No, did you?”

Me: “No. Well, have a nice day, I guess?”

(I still have no idea what happened on that call!)


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| Working | April 22, 2013

(When we get truck, they normally try and schedule it so at least one male is working to help, since the boxes are stacked up very high and often quite heavy. On this particular day however it’s me and the store manager who is notoriously lazy. I’m only five feet tall and he’s well over six feet.)

Store Manager: “[My name], I need you to start sorting the totes.”

Me: “I’m going to need some help.”

Store Manager: “There’s no reason you can’t do it!”

Me: “So, you think I should be able to scale the ladder, lift a bulky 35 pound tote and make my way safely back down?”

Store Manager: “Yes, why is that so hard?”

Me: “It’s not safe.”

Store Manager: “I don’t care how you do it. Just get it done!”

(He stalks off while I try and figure out how to do this. One of our pharmacy techs cuts through the backroom and sees me; I’m visibly upset at this point.)

Pharmacy Tech: “Hey, what are you doing?”

Me: “[Store manager] left me alone to try and get all these totes down.”

Pharmacy Tech: “Right, like that’s totally safe.”

Me: “He doesn’t care. I’m just trying to figure out the best way to do it to avoid not only hurting myself, but breaking anything.”

Pharmacy Tech: “Yeah, hang on…”

(He goes back into the pharmacy before reappearing and shucking his vest.)

Pharmacy Tech: “We’re slow, and like h*** I’m letting you do this by yourself. The pharmacist told me to go ahead and help you.”

Me: “Won’t you get in trouble?”

Pharmacy Tech: “I’d like to see him try and get me in trouble.”

(The tech helps me get the down so I can more easily sort the totes. After we’ve finished, the store manager shows back up.)

Store Manager: “I can’t believe you’ve only gotten this much done!”

Me: “Well, maybe if you were actually halfway competent you would have realized that you were supposed to be helping me! I’m one person, what exactly have you been doing all this time? Sit around on your butt texting in the office, most likely!”

Store Manager: “You can’t talk to me that way! I’m your boss!”

Me: “Not anymore!”

(I threw my name tag at him and walked out. Several other members of management called to try and get me to come back, but I refused. I found a job at another pharmacy and shortly later, my pharmacy tech buddy joined me there!)

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Out Of State, Out Of Mind, Part 4

| Working | April 21, 2013

(I am driving with a friend when her car begins to have trouble. We manage to get it to the shop, but it will be several days before her car can be repaired. Not wanting to be stranded in a small town for several days, we walk to a nearby car rental agency. Everything is going smoothly until…)

Employee: “I just need to see a valid driver’s license.”

My Friend: “Here you go.”

(As we are both from other states, my friend has just handed the rental agent her Maryland driver’s license.)

Employee: “I’m sorry. I can’t accept this. I need to see a Georgia driver’s license.”

My Friend:  “Are you serious? I’m not from Georgia. I don’t have a Georgia driver’s license.”

Employee: “I’m sorry, but that’s corporate policy. I can’t rent you a car unless you have an in-state ID.”

My Friend: “But I’ve rented cars from you at other locations in the past, and I’ve used my out-of-state license, and it has never been an issue before. Are you seriously telling me that you can’t rent me a vehicle because I’m from another state?”

Employee: “Sorry, but unless you have a Georgia license, I cannot rent a car to you.”

(My friend and I finally give up and call another friend who happens to be living in a town about an hour away to come and pick us up, which she is happy to do. As we are waiting for our ride…)

Me: “I can’t believe that they wouldn’t rent you a car because you have an out-of-state license! Isn’t that what a car rental agency is for? Who do they usually rent cars to?”


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