Server: “Welcome to [Fast Food]. Would you like to try our new [Special] burger?”

Husband: “No, thank you. I’d like an order of onion rings and—”

Server: *punches in medium [Special] combo with small fries & drink*

Me: “Wait? What?”

Server: “Your total is [amount]. Please pull forward.”

Husband: “Hello? We didn’t want that!”

Server: “…”

Me: “Hello?”

Server: “…”

(We drove off and went to a different fast food chain — one that actually listened to what we wanted to order.)

(I have placed a small order. A week after, the site still says “preparing to ship” on my order, so I send an e-mail to, politely, ask if the order has been sent yet. When I get home I find the order in my mail box and send another e-mail.)

Me: “And of course, just because I wrote to you earlier today, the package arrived today. If the order status on the site had been updated I wouldn’t have sent the first e-mail, so perhaps that would have been a good idea. But anyway, thank you!”

Shop Owner: “I usually ship orders within three or four days, but my colleague can’t update the website, so if I don’t call her on my days off it won’t be updated. I have my computer at home and my workplace is in [Random City in Sweden that I have no idea how far away from she lives], and my economy doesn’t allow me to hire more people, and I work several days a week AND I have meetings until 10 pm EVERY NIGHT. So I APOLOGIZE if I can’t update more often!”

(Pro Tip: “Don’t use random customers as psychologists.”)

(I’m at a well-known restaurant known for “Mc” In front of some of their foods. It’s my turn to order and the manager is taking my order.)

Manager: “Welcome to [Restaurant]. May I take your order?”

Me: “Yes, please. May I get the double cheeseburger medium meal? May I get a mocha frappuccino for my drink, please?”

(Please note, I have asked for said drink before.)

Manager: “We don’t have frappuccinos. We have frappes?”

Me: *flabbergasted* “Uh, yes. That, please. Thank you.”

(Though a simple thing, I was just surprised that a manager at the restaurant had no idea they were the same thing. Who knew!)

(I attend college in a smaller town, and there’s an excellent local donut shop right across from my dorm that I’ve been to a couple of times and adored. My younger sister is on campus for a high school-related activity, so I offer to buy her some. Since I have classes, I’m not able to get there until one, about an hour before the shop’s closing time, so I thought I’d still be able to grab her a couple. Upon arriving, I see the owner is prepping a sign, as they are out of donuts. I did not notice this until entering the shop.)

Owner: “Oh, hey, sorry about that. I was just about to put the sign up. We have a couple of cake donuts left if you’re interested.”

Me: “Oh, no, it’s fine, I kind of guessed I’d be cutting it close. I was going to grab some for my sister, but I’ll just come back and get some before I head home for break.”

(I leave town to go home for Thanksgiving next week.)

Owner: “Hmm… what kind of donuts does your sister like?”

Me: “Um, maple and glazed, but she said—” *I had been texting for her opinion* “—that it’s fine, I can just—”

Owner: “How about this: I’ll just put some maple frosting on a couple of these cake donuts and you can take her a bag. They’re not our usuals but she’ll love them.” *begins doing just that*

Me: “Oh, wow, seriously? That’d be awesome! How much will that be?”

Owner: *handing me the bag* “None, it’s on the house. I’m not gonna charge you for half-a**ed maple donuts just because you came in just a few minutes too late.”

Me: “I, wow, thank you so much!”

(My sister loved the “half-a**ed” donuts, and I still intend to go buy a box to take home before I go home for break.)

(I work two jobs to put myself through college. One is at my dorm desk, and the other at a grill on campus. Each has its preferred way of answering the phone. I am actually at home, for once, desperately trying to catch up on homework, and the phone rings:)

Me: “Good morning… no… aft… no… evening! [Dorm]… wait, no… [Grill]… argh!”

Mom: “Do you want me to call back when you know where you are and what time it is?”

Me: “Can you just send me some cookies or something?”

(And actually, a few days later I did get a care package with some Girl Scout cookies…)