Me: *picks up phone* “Good afternoon, [Company].”

Salesperson: “Hello, I’m calling from [Power Company]. May I speak to your administration manager?”

Me: “What is it regarding?”

Salesperson: “I’d like to talk to you about using [Power Company] as your electricity provider. If you switch to us, you can save a lot of money every month. We offer very competitive rates.”

Me: “Yes, when I was in my previous company, I did that. However, are you aware that my office is just one of many in the building? Must the entire building switch over to [Power Company] to enjoy these rates?”

Salesperson: “Uh, well, you would need to change out the meter… But it also saves you a lot of money!”

Me: “From what I understand, you provide power to the entire building, not individual units. So you might need the approval of all the tenants here to do the switch. I’m asking again, do you need the entire building to switch over to [Power Company] to enjoy these rates?”

Salesperson: “Well, I can get our specialist to call you to talk about it.”

Me: “No, I don’t want to waste my time talking to your specialist if we cannot switch without the approval of all the tenants in this building. YOU go and find out and if you can provide this switch for just my unit in this building, feel free to call back. If not, don’t bother calling here again.”

Salesperson: *click*

(Honestly, I get it that she’s trying to do her job. But whoever asked her to make cold calls like this without her knowing at least some technical details ought to be shot.)

(I am with my friend going through the drive-thru of a popular fast food chain when they mess up part of the order. I go back inside to correct it when the following happens. Note: several police officers are inside, waiting for their food.)

Me: “Hi! I just came through the drive-thru and noticed that we’re short a sandwich. Here’s the receipt.”

Cashier: *rudely* “All the food you ordered is in the bag. Have a nice day.”

Me: “But it’s not. We ordered four [Popular Sandwich], but only three are in there.”

Cashier: “You think I’m stupid? You’re just trying to get free food!”

Me: “Ma’am?”

Cashier: *snappy* “What?”

Me: “Do you really believe I’d be dumb enough to try and steal from you with three police officers standing behind me?”

Cashier: *stuttering* “I…  But… Okay, fine.”

(I got the missing sandwich, but needless to say, I’ve yet to go back to that particular location. One of the officers even high-fived me!)

(I’m a senior receptionist, and I get two brand-new coworkers. Neither of them are “particularly bright.” I am alphabetizing some files, and mid-task my boss phones reception.)

Boss: “[My Name], I’m about to leave the office to get on a plane, but I’m supposed to go to a meeting. Will you go instead and take notes for me?”

Me: “Sure. Where’s the meeting?”

(She tells me, and I turn to my new coworkers. They are both sitting at the same computer, chatting and not even pretending to work.)

Me: “[Coworker 1], [Boss] asked me to go to a meeting for an hour. Can you finish alphabetizing these cards while I’m gone?”

Coworker: “Okay, I suppose so.”

(It’s mostly finished when I leave; the rest would take about 15 minutes at the most. I go to the meeting and come back an hour and a half later. Guess what? It’s not finished.)

Me: *eye-twitching* “Did you get a chance to finish these cards?”

Coworker: “No, I forgot the alphabet half-way through.”

(I turned around and walked out of reception right there. Not only was that an excuse designed to make her look stupid, but the whole time I was gone SHE WAS SITTING IN FRONT OF A FUNCTIONAL COMPUTER. Even if she had a mind blank, she could have gone online and searched for the alphabet! I moved away a few months later, and found out from a different coworker that she was fired a little after I left.)

(I’m a female administrative assistant in an open plan office, for a big company. Coworker #1, who is female, is a very high-up manager, and is waiting to go into a meeting while she chats to Coworker #2, also female, and a mid-level manager. Both are in their 30s, and very fashionable looking.)

Coworker #1: “I’ve got a [Project] meeting with the board of directors. I hate these things. It’s such a sausage party! Have we ever had a female director yet?”

Coworker #2: “Probably not. It’s such a boys’ club. Letting a woman in would shake up their way of thinking too much.”

Coworker #1: “If we all worked together, I bet we could pressure them into making the board a little more diverse. Girl power, and all that! Maybe I could be on the board. I’m already working on [Important Project].”

Coworker #2: “Hmm… I forgot, isn’t [Coworker #3] kind of on the board?”

(Note: Coworker #3 is another high-level manager, filling in temporarily on the board because of an ongoing vacancy. She’s in her 50s-60s, a large woman, and a frumpy dresser.)

Coworker #1: “[Coworker #3]? Ha, she barely counts as female, does she?!”

Coworker #2: “That’s true. Have you seen her?! She’s probably more of a man than the rest of the board combined.”

(They started laughing about it and made other nasty comments about her appearance. Yeah, nice to see that ‘girl power’ at work, ladies. Several months later, Coworker #3 officially became a board member. Too bad I didn’t get to see those two jerks’ reaction to the news.)

Me: “Hey, can I have a veggie burger, plain? Just cheese, please.”

Worker: “A veggie burger… with just cheese? Um, okay.”

(I get my food, open it up, and my “burger” is just a single slice of cheese between two buns.)

Me: “Um, hi, I wanted a veggie burger?” *shows bun*

Worker: “Yeah, but you wanted just cheese.”

Me: “Well, I mean I didn’t want condiments or the lettuce and stuff, but I still want the veggie burger.”

Worker: “If you don’t want the lettuce and tomato, there’s nothing left. Just cheese.”

Me: “Oh, no, you have an item on your menu, see?” *points* “It’s an actual patty, like a hamburger patty, but instead of hamburger it’s soy and veggies and stuff.”

Worker: “Oh, I thought you just wanted, like, lettuce and stuff. We have a veggie patty?”

Me: “Yeah. It’s shaped like a hamburger patty and looks like a hamburger patty and cooked like a hamburger patty.”

Worker: “Okay, just a moment.”

(I get my burger and it’s an actual hamburger with vegetable toppings on it.)

Me: “Can someone help you with this? I get this from this location once or twice a month so someone in the kitchen should know of it.”

(The worker shuffles to the back and then comes back up front.)

Worker: “Okay, it will be ready soon.”

(It finally came out with the veggie patty but also with all the condiments and toppings on. At this point, after almost 30 minutes of being there, I just scraped it all off and used the dry bun and cheese from the original “burger” she had given me but never took back.)