Out Of Brain Cells

| Working | May 22, 2012

(At the pharmacy where I work, I do a lot of training of new employees. This day’s trainee is particularly slow on the uptake.)

Me: *to new employee* “Now, when the customer pays in cash and just hands you a bill, you should repeat back to them how much they gave you. For example, when a customer gives you a $20 bill, you say, ‘Out of $20,’ as you make change.”

(This is a technique to help avoid after-the-fact disputes about the denomination of the bills customers hand over.)

New Employee: “Got it.”

(The customer walks up and pays cash, handing him a $20. The new employee says nothing.)

Me: *to new employee* “What are you forgetting?”

New Employee: “Um…”

Me: “Say the amount they gave you.”

New Employee: “Oh, right…”

(The next three customers all pay cash, and as they each fork over a crisp clean $20 bill, the new employee performs flawlessly, verifying that it is indeed “Out of $20” with each transaction. I think he’s finally gotten it down until the fourth customer.)

New Employee: “That will be [price].”

Customer #4: *hands over credit card*

New Employee: “Out of $20!”

Me: *facepalm*

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Some Things Can Weight To Be Said, Part 2

| Working | May 21, 2012

(A friend and I are out for lunch and have this exchange with our server.)

My Friend: “I’ll have the bacon cheeseburger.”

Server: “Would you like fries or salad with that?”

My Friend: “Fries, please.”

Server: “Salad, excellent.”

My Friend: “No, no…I’d like fries.”

Server: “Oh, okay! Anything to drink?”

My Friend: “I’ll have a Coke.”

Server: “Diet Coke, great.”

My Friend: “No…regular Coke is fine, thanks.”

Server: “Oh, right. Sure thing!”

(A different server brings over our meals. Despite what she said to the original server, my friend’s burger arrives incorrectly with a salad and a Diet Coke.)

My Friend: *staring at her meal* “Tell me the truth, do I need to lose weight?!”

 

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This Coworker Needs To Be Socked

| Working | May 21, 2012

Coworker: “Hey, can you tell me if the men’s gloves are on sale?”

Me: “Yup! Everything in men’s today, except underwear and socks, is on sale for 50% off.”

Coworker: *exasperated sigh* “I KNOW they’re not 50% off! I want to know if they’re on sale!”

Me: “Yes…everything except underwear and socks is 50% off.”

Coworker: “So, it’s just underwear and socks that are 50% off?”

Me: “No, socks and underwear are the only things not on sale. Everything else is 50% off.”

Coworker: “So, are the gloves on sale or not?”

Me: “Yes.”

Coworker: “Well, for how much?!”

Me: “50% off!”

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We Read Your Attitude Loud And Clear

| Working | May 21, 2012

(Note: This happened about 6 years ago when I was trying to spend my birthday money on comic books. A girl comes in all dressed up to pass in a resume; note that she has a guide dog. She gives it to the owner and smiles softly.)

Girl with guide dog: *to owner* “I was hoping you’d be hiring.”

Owner: *takes her resume* “How about you come in Wednesday at two for an interview?”

Girl with guide dog: “I’m sorry sir, I’m hard of hearing. Would you mind facing me when you talk?”

Owner: *gruffly* “Nevermind. There’s no openings. We just finished hiring.”

Girl with guide dog: *sadly* “Oh…thank you anyway.”

(Having overheard everything, ALL the customers in the store simultaneously left without buying anything. I haven’t been back since!)

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Not Getting Paid To Pay Attention

, | Working | May 20, 2012

(I am ordering at the drive-thru window at a fast food chain.)

Me: “I’d like a number 4 with a Pepsi.”

Employee: “Would you like a drink with that?”

Me: “Yes, a Pepsi.”

Employee: “Well, what would you like?”

Me: “A Pepsi.”

Employee: “What do you want to drink?!”

Me: “A Pepsi!”

Employee: “No, what do you want to…ooohh!”

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