Hopping Mad

, | Working | May 15, 2012

(My coworker is finishing taking an order from a middle-aged man.)

Coworker: *to customer* “Alright, lemme just get your name for the order.”

Customer: “It’s Bernie.”

Coworker: “Okay, it should be 10 minutes.”

(My coworker types the customer’s name into the computer. When I go to the labeling machine to grab the stickers coming out, I see “Bunny” printed on the label.)

Me: “Uh, I think you misheard his name.” *shows label with “Bunny”*

Coworker: “No, I didn’t. He said that. I’m sure!”

Me: *to customer* “Just to confirm your name…is it ‘Bunny’?”

Customer: “No…BERNIE. Do I look like a stripper to you?!”

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Too Bad You Can’t Ctrl-X Coworkers, Part 2

| Working | May 15, 2012

(I’m the General Manager of a brand-new hotel. One of my coworkers essentially became the owner’s “pet” after about three weeks of being open. She and I didn’t get along, which made things difficult as the owner would often take her side. The following is one incident that took place.)

Owner: “Where is that disc that [coworker] asked for from the software company?”

Me: “It’s in my office. Let me grab it.”

Coworker: “No, it’s here in the garbage. Why would you put it in the garbage?”

Me: “What? No, it was on my desk.”

Owner: “Why would you put it in the garbage? You knew she needed that!”

Me: *confused* “But I didn’t—”

Coworker: “Yes, you did! See, it’s all dirty. This is how you get viruses on your computer!”

Me: “You do not get computer viruses by putting in a disc that was in the garbage.”

Owner: “Of course you do! You don’t know what the h*** you’re talking about!”

Me: “I give up. I’ll see you all tomorrow.”

(Thankfully, I didn’t have to put up with the coworker for long. She ended up stealing thousands of dollars from the hotel and got caught and arrested. When this happened, I said to the owner, “Computer virus, huh?” and she turned red and walked away.)


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Hair Apparent, Part 2

, | Working | May 14, 2012

(I am really thirsty on my way home from work one day, so I decide to go to the drive-thru of a well-known fast food restaurant.)

Employee: “Hi, what can I get for you today?”

Me: “Hi, I would like a large Sprite. That is all.”

Employee: “Okay, your total is $2.50 at the second window.”

(I drive up to the window and I notice that the employee is a cute girl with black hair.)

Employee: “Hi, that will be $2.50, please. What sauces do you want with your drink?”

(I look at her in disbelief. After a couple of seconds, she realizes what she said.)

Employee: “F***! I thought dying my hair black would get rid of those stupid blonde moments!”


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Much A-Queued About Nothing

| Working | May 14, 2012

(I am in the check out line when the checker starts calling for a manager. He has called over the PA system 10 times. A bagger beside him has joined in trying to help. The manager eventually comes over, but ignores the numerous calls for help and instead pulls all the baggers to the side.)

Manager: “Okay, I need you over there, you in this line, you all the way at the end, and you need to go get carts.”

Bagger: “But why are [other bagger] and I switching lines? Can’t we just stay at the ones we are already helping?”

Manager: “No, because he is taller than you, and [other bagger] is taller than both of you! YOU MUST BE LINED UP BY HEIGHT!”

(My checker had to call the manager another 16 times before he would help.)

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Math Makes A Big Difference

| Working | May 14, 2012

(It’s a particularly busy day at the movie theater where I work. My coworker and I have gone on break. We have a very strict supervisor this day who gets angry if we exceed our 15 minute break by even half a minute.)

Coworker: “Ugh! When do when have to be back?”

Me: *looking at the clock* “Well, we got in here at 4:36, so we don’t have to be back until 4:51.”

Coworker: *stares incredulously* “Are you, like, REALLY good at math?!”

(Not surprisingly, she got fired a few weeks later for consistently being late for work.)

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