I get my nails done quite late in the evening. The nail technician is really friendly and polite and we have a lovely chat. However it seems to me that my simple file and French manicure is taking quite a while – to the extent that I even ask her if she’s new (she isn’t). I hardly ever get my nails done and I can’t look at my phone to see the time while my nails are drying, so I think I must be imagining how long it’s taking.

While she is doing my nails the other technician finishes with her customer, cleans up quickly and efficiently, and gets the place ready for the morning. I notice she seems really grumpy, just short of being rude to both me and my tech. I give my tech a relatively big tip because she was so friendly and it was such a relaxing experience.

As I’m walking away I get out my phone to check the time: I had been there for almost an hour!

I realised the technician had been dragging out my polish to make her colleague do all the closing work, and had even managed to land herself an extra big tip in the process.

Unfortunately they’d already closed, I don’t remember either of their names, and I wasn’t in that area for a while afterwards, so I couldn’t do anything about it – but I hope her colleague or manager talks to her about being so selfish.

(I am on a train from London that isn’t supposed to be stopping for another hour or so, but we find the train stopping for a couple of minutes at an earlier station. I don’t think much of it, until the following announcement.)

Tannoy: “Hello. Just to update you all, we have just made an unscheduled stop at [Station] because a customer just received some very sad news of a family member passing and therefore wants to return to London. We decided to stop early so she could get a return train sooner to get back to her family. We hope you accept our apologies for this short delay.”

(Whilst the situation was sad, it was nice to see that the train company had that kind of compassion, as they are very strict about unscheduled stops usually!)

(I take my younger brother and sister to the cinema, booking my tickets online before going. When we get there we find three teenage girls in our seats, who refuse to move, so we get a member of staff.)

Usher: “This lady has booked these seats. Please move to your own allocated seats.”

Girl #1: “Well, there’s been a mistake. WE booked these seats online before she did.”

Usher: “Show me your tickets.”

(They show the usher their tickets, showing that they did indeed have the same seats… in a different screen room.)

Usher: “These are the tickets for the 3D version. This screen is showing it in 2D.”

Girl #2: “Well, someone should have told us where to go.”

Usher: “It says clearly on the ticket ‘screen five’ and the member of staff that checked your ticket will have told you ‘screen five.’”

Girl #1: “We paid for this film and these seats. We’re not moving.”

Usher: “You paid extra to see the 3D version.”

Girl #1: “Yes, we paid extra, so we should get these seats.”

Usher: “Fine, you may keep those seats.”

(The girls smiled at us victoriously. The usher directed us to screen five where we got to take their seats in the 3D film.)

(I order pizza online for lunch and I get a phone call about half an hour later.)

Pizza Guy: “Hi, are you close to the door?”

Me: “Yes?”

Pizza Guy: “Good, I’m pulling up in a red truck right now.” *click*

(I find this a little odd because usually they come to my door and knock, but I don’t think much of it. I go to the door and open it, but no cars let alone a red truck drive by. I wait about a minute or two then close the door. Confused, I return to the kitchen to finish what I’m doing. My cell rings about five minutes later.)

Pizza Guy: “Are you between the library and the museum?”

Me: *instantly I know he’s at the nearby university and nowhere near my house* “No, I’m off of [Street].”

Pizza Guy: “You’re not at [address on campus]?”

Me: “No, my address is [address way off campus].”

Pizza Guy: “Did you call the wrong number?”

Me: “You called me, dude.”

Pizza Guy: *mumbles something and hangs up*

(I am at home, when the phone rings.)

Telemarketer: “Hello, are you interested in an amazing offer?”

Me: “If this call is any kind of advertisement I am not interested.”

Telemarketer: “No, I want to tell you how to save money.”

Me: “Well, okay, I am listening.”

Telemarketer: “I am calling for [Power Company] and if you get a contract with us you save a lot of money.”

Me: “So this is an advertisement.”

Telemarketer: “No, sir, it is a way of saving money.”

Me: “You advertise for [Power Company]. That is an advertisement.”

Telemarketer: “Well, if you put it that way, yes, I suppose so.”

Me: “So your answer to my first question was a lie. Do you really expect me to believe anything else you have to say when you start with lying to me?”

Telemarketer: “I guess not…” *click*